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1/2 for downs after patau last year

(11 Posts)
Happenedagain2017 Fri 05-May-17 13:03:16

Hello everybody. I have just been given a 1:2 for downs. Had cvs but if feels conclusive - several problems including bloods and nuchal. Last year we lost a baby to pataus. I am mid 40s so this is the end of the road for me in terms of ttc. Have two dc so very lucky. Just can't believe I'm here again. How do I get through the next weeks and months?!

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Whymeagain1 Fri 05-May-17 13:55:29

Hi Happened I am so sorry, to go through this pain once is awful, to face it a possible second time almost unbelievable.

I'm in a similar situation, and also have two living dc, if it helps to know someone else is there and understands the feelings and pain. I had tfmr last year, then an early miscarriage and am now pregnant again and awaiting the 20 week scan after the 12 week showed a high NT (no idea re bloods as didn't have NHS blood test). My Harmony came back clear for the trisomies and sex chromosome abnormalities, so could be anything from a heart defect or a rarer issue.

Do you know when you'll get your results? I think the uncertainty and waiting is horrendous.

Feel free to message me if you'd like. I used the ARC charity forum a lot last year but can't face it at the moment, it feels everyone else has got or is getting their happy ending....flowers

Happenedagain2017 Fri 05-May-17 14:12:09

Hi why me, thanks so much for responding and I am so very sorry to hear what you have been through/are going through. How long till your 20 week scan? Is there any chance the NT could have resolved itself by then?

I think I will get the CVS results early next week but there is very little hope - 4.7 nuchal and terrible bloods. I don't know where to start with the sadness. Already grieving this baby while feeling so sick and pregnant, and grieving what might have been for our family if only my body had co-operated. I know i'll be ok eventually. But for now .... this is very hard.

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BlytheofWindyWillows Fri 05-May-17 14:43:34

Happened, sorry you are going through this. My DD1 has Down syndrome, not picked up during the pregnancy. I'm currently pregnant with DD2 and was given 1 in 5 for Downs again due to nuchal and bloods. The CVS was clear for the 3 main trisomies and the established the nuchal measurement due to placental mosaicism, ended up having an amnio and the baby is ok. It's an awful situation to be in and as PP said ARC can be really helpful x

Happenedagain2017 Fri 05-May-17 14:50:34

Thanks for responding windy, and many congratulations. I think in my case the bloods were totally consistent with Downs (v high hcg and low Papp-a). So that with the NT makes me pretty sure that the CVS will confirm things. I'm just contemplating how to manage to put on a brave for the kids over the weekend!

OP’s posts: |
putputput Fri 05-May-17 15:21:16

It is such a tricky situation for you and your family, however, it sounds like you have made up your mind to terminate if a diagnosis is confirmed. There are 1000s of individuals with Down syndrome who live healthy and fulfilled lives. This is not a one option scenario, there are lots of groups you can talk to about the realties of having a child with Down syndrome.

HeyRoly Fri 05-May-17 15:27:43

I'm sorry you're going through this, and disappointed in the previous poster who is judging you when this board should be free of judgement and pro-life opinions.

Happenedagain2017 Fri 05-May-17 15:33:39

I know this is tricky. This is hardly news to me. My heart is broken. Thanks for the support heyroly.

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HeyRoly Fri 05-May-17 15:47:15

Well, I think it's highly offensive to say that if only people did a bit of research about parenting a child with Downs, they would change their minds. The Sally Phillips documentary a few months back was absolutely horrendous on that front.

As if anyone chooses to terminate a wanted pregnancy without a tremendous amount of heartache.

flowers

Happenedagain2017 Fri 05-May-17 16:41:11

I want to scream and shout and rage at the unfairness but feel like I can't or shouldn't because I've got two lovely DC and I knew the risks at my age ... but I just can't believe this has happened twice now. I can't believe it.

OP’s posts: |
Whymeagain1 Fri 05-May-17 16:55:46

Like HeyRoly has already said, I'm so sorry to see the post above, very insensitive when you have reached out for support and understanding, not judgment. As a parent who has been through similar, I know the heartache, and the research and soul searching involved. It is not a snap, easy decision, and how terrible to think of someone that would ever be the case.

In response to your earlier post to me, OP, My scan is next week. I'm just counting the days. I'm planning a day out with my children this weekend, as I know if we get bad news I won't be able to do that for a few weeks.

I hope you hear quickly next week. You're right, it's so bloody unfair, you are allowed to feel that way, having your dc doesn't take that feeling away (I feel the same). flowers

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