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Support needed after cvs results

(22 Posts)
CareBearWithFangs Sun 20-Apr-14 08:25:20

We got the results from the cvs test on thurs. The baby has downs. We have decided to not continue with the pregnancy. Because of the bank holiday we are in limbo at the moment and nothing is going to happen until Tuesday.

I'm really struggling to be strong and keep things as normal as possible for my DD (2 yrs old). I feel devastated and I'm not sleeping very well because of bad dreams.

I'm just wondering if there's anyone else in this position at the moment or whose been in this position?

EverythingCounts Sun 20-Apr-14 09:47:37

I haven't been in this position but I'm sorry you are. Have you been given any advice about counselling, anyone you can ring? Take care of yourself.

Teaandtoast1 Sun 20-Apr-14 10:01:11

I'm so sorry to hear that, try and take care of yourself. I'm waiting for my results so my heart goes out to you and your family x

CareBearWithFangs Sun 20-Apr-14 10:06:56

I feel for you too teaandtoast. The waiting is awful, especially if your having to wait over a bank holiday.

Thanks Everything, I have been given a number I can call but if I talk about it out loud I get very upset and can't really say anything.

I was felt like I was coping with it yesterday but today I've gone back to constant lump in my throat and holding back tears while trying to play with DD.

Sahkoora Sun 20-Apr-14 10:21:09

Hi, a little bit behind you, but got an abnormal NT last Monday and had to wait over the bank holiday to get a CVS. Got ours first thing Tues but it's not making for a relaxing weekend.

For what it's worth, if we get back positive result we will be making the same decision as you.

I know how you're feeling, horrible every time I look at DSes. Sending a hug and thoughts to you xxx

CareBearWithFangs Sun 20-Apr-14 10:32:28

Sahkoora, I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday. It's a shame you've had to wait over the bank holiday. The waiting really is horrendous. We had the scan on Monday, cvs on Wednesday and results on Thursday. Even that small amount of waiting was torture.

I feel a bit shell shocked by it all. This time last week I was looking forward to my scan. By this time next week I won't be pregnant anymore. It's just not what I thought would happen at all. I know it's naive but I really didn't think this is where we'd be now. I just assumed everything would be fine. I didn't even have the nt measurement with DD because I was too far along when I found out I was pregnant and DD is fine.

LBNM19 Sun 20-Apr-14 13:06:36

I'm so sorry to read this I was in a similar situation and had to have a CVS. Lucky for me my results come back ok. But just the thought of them coming back bad and having to have a termination was awful, it's such a hard time. I really do feel for you. Life is so cruel sometimes xx

lostlove Sun 20-Apr-14 15:09:25

I was in a similar position this time last year. It's awful.

Can you get someone to look after DD while you go and let it all out? My mum looked after DD when I got in from work on the day we got our bad result; I cried and screamed into a pillow for a bit before I got on with my evening.

So sorry you are going through this.

Hope26 Sun 20-Apr-14 17:19:21

Carebear I'm really sorry to hear your news. I have my amnio on the 29th and the wait is killing me. I am dreading awful results and since the sonographer said its worse than DS and baby's brain has formed properly and has an absent nasal bone I'm not very hopeful. I am praying for a miracle. Just pray to God you get blessed with another child soon. Hope it all goes well for you

Hope26 Sun 20-Apr-14 17:20:17

Hasn't formed properly*

LuckyAugust Sun 20-Apr-14 19:53:04

I am so sorry for you. It was a different condition but we made the same decision as you after getting our CVS results in February. I've cried so much and wish things could have different but at the same time I know our decision was the right one. Its now a few months later and I am starting to feel more normal (and can look at baby girls without bursting into tears although it will forever tug at my heart). Please don't give up. We're now at the stage where we are ready to try again. The pain won't go away but for me its getting easier and I'm trying to have some hope for the future. I hope you have lots of support and truly feel for you. Big big hugs x

CareBearWithFangs Sun 20-Apr-14 20:47:13

Hope that sounds so awful. I really hope you get the result your hoping for. It's such a difficult thing to go through.

Luck glad to hear you've got through it and are ready to try again. It's that that's worrying me a lot. At the moment I feel like the idea of trying again is terrifying but I desperately want another child.

Lostlove my mil is being fab and has had DD quite a bit last week and will next week too. We're very lucky to have her as my mum is useless at the best of times.

LBM I'm glad you got a good result and thank you for your kind words.

Also thanks for everyone who has posted.

Today's been pretty awful really. I don't know what to do with myself or how to pull myself out of it.

puppythedog Sun 20-Apr-14 21:23:55

Hi CareBearWithFangs I hope you don't mind me dropping in on your thread. I don;t have any words of wisdom about your particular situation, other than in your shoes if the choice was mine I would be making the same decision.
If I can offer the benefit of my experience with regards to managing difficult circumstances; getting upset when you talk about it is part of what's beneficial about talking about it. It's not only okay to be upset it is important to do so. Please don't feel you have to pull yourself out of anything, it's a f786ing terrible time to be going through, just getting through is your only job right now.
Warm thoughts and kind hopes for you and your family.

CareBearWithFangs Mon 21-Apr-14 09:05:43

Hi puppy. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I'm just really worried that if I give in to being upset about it I'll just sink into it completely and won't be able to manage at all. It feels a bit like the calm before the storm now. Next week is going to be horrific, by this time next week I won't be pregnant anymore. I'm scared about how I'm going to feel.

Send my best wishes to mrsthedog.

Sahkoora Mon 21-Apr-14 10:42:32

Thank you CareBear. The bank holiday has felt interminable and I know it's completely irrational, but I've been so cross seeing places like McDonald's open when truly important things like fetal medicine departments are closed!

I hope you are holding up OK, been thinking about you.

snapple21 Tue 22-Apr-14 00:42:54

Please visit the arc website -

Support for women who've been in the same position as you.

I terminated for ds in nov 2012 and arc are a fantastic charity who have been a massive support to me ever since

CareBearWithFangs Tue 22-Apr-14 09:36:08

Thinking of you today sahkoora. I hope you get the results soon, and that everything is ok.

I have been in the arc website and asked to join the forum. I'm just not up to calling then yet, thank you for the suggestion.

We are just waiting for a call from the hospital to tell us when to go in to take the tablet to stop the pregnancy hormones. My stomach is in knots.

Hope26 Tue 22-Apr-14 13:23:59

Can surgical abortion happen for 16 weeks + or does it have to be medical? Medical takes two days and I can ever imagine what those two days may feel like for the parents.

CareBearWithFangs Tue 22-Apr-14 14:11:16

To be honest I'm not sure. But we haven't been given that as an option. We weren't given any, just told its medical management. We went in today expecting to take the first tablet but apparently the ward will be too busy on Thursday so I have to wait until tomorrow before I can take it and then until Friday before they induce labor. This waiting is torture. I just want to hide away, I don't want to risk bumping into anyone I know while we're in this weird limbo phase as I won't know what to say.

Hope26 Tue 22-Apr-14 14:35:40

I know how you feel. Try contacting the hospital and see if surgical option can be provided. It takes 4-5 mins and they do thorough cleaning of uterus. It's a very difficult time and I know what you mean about meeting people. Right now all my relatives know about the baby and are excited but don't know the downside of things yet. Waiting for amnio is a pain. just take it easy and I don't know how religious or spiritual you are but try to understand that God has better plans for you. This is a chance to remember God and appreciate all the blessings you do have in your life. Our health is so important and we are truly blessed.

TelephoneTree Mon 28-Apr-14 21:27:55

Are you 100% about your decision?

TelephoneTree Mon 28-Apr-14 21:28:47

oh sorry I've just seen the dates of the posts. I was asking because incase you weren't sure and it was that that was the really hard bit for you.

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