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devastating news today... please pary my daughter stays strong and any advise please....

(6 Posts)
CRAZYCREW Mon 15-Aug-11 22:31:42

Today we went to the fetal medicine clinic at Leeds for a scan as my daughters baby Harvey has his heart all the wrong way round top and bottom and other problems too. She is an amazing mum, just complested being a vt at the hospital and college, had her son and got distinction. Her son is her life and she is brillinat. Hollie has been on the injection for 15 mths and not had any periods for 18 mths due to her not being well with her diabetes and last week she found our she was 18 weeks pregnant.

Anway we went for a scan today and the babay has the wrost heart problem hls where is left size is small. The said they are sure it is but will need to be confirmed by a cardiologist scan and keeping us waiting 3 weeks.. eek. The ladt that did the scan though is specialised in hearts so I am sure she is right.

She has told us that 50% of babies dont survive the first op and the same for the second op... my daughter is bottling it up and we discussed termination as she has harvey and his care needs and does not get a lot of support from her partner at all. She is only young too but so mature.
She I think is going to continue with the prgnancy and it has to be her decision but also think she has to think of Harvey also and his needs as on meds etc, bad asthma.

God I wish I could wake up and it all not be true I really do...

also what is the procedure like for late termination....

thanks

hester Mon 15-Aug-11 22:42:50

Oh, I am so sorry. How devastating for you and your daughter.

I have no good advice, but I can tell you a bit about termination at this stage. It will involve being induced and going through labour, I'm afraid, but your daughter will be sedated throughout and given pain relief. She should be looked after by a midwife with special training in this area. If she wants, she will be able to hold her baby after the birth, and have photos and footprints taken.

There are two charities it might be worth contacting: Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) and Support After Termination for Foetal Abnormality (SATFA).

I wish you all the best in supporting your daughter through this horrible time. I am so very sorry this has happened to you.

piprabbit Mon 15-Aug-11 22:43:16

What a terrible situation for your DD and you to find yourselves in sad.
Nothing I can say, really - but didn't want you to go unanswered.

I'll be thinking of you all.

WhatFreshHellIsThis Mon 15-Aug-11 22:49:03

Is the problem hypoplastic left heart syndrome? If so, we had th same diagnosis with our second baby, it is a devastatingly difficult thing to happen and i feel for your daughter.

She's lucky to have you supporting her, it has to be her decision in the end but my advice would be not to rush the decision, take time to really understand what the doctors are saying and don't b fraid to ask questions. I found i needed to ask the same questions over and over again before i could really take it in.

Wishing you all lots of strength.

mrsbigz Mon 15-Aug-11 22:52:02

oh crazycrew sad i was watching out for your update, and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. what a cruel cruel twist of fate. i was praying that she would get good news today.
i'm not sure about the heart problems, although i'm sure there are (or have been) threads previously on MN about this.
I guess right now your daughter is trying to take everything in - this must be very overwhelming, especially as she only recently even found out she was pregnant (and so far along).
from experience, i know that the waiting is the hardest part - especially for 3 weeks, that will drag bless her. i hope she will be kept busy and distracted by her son. if things change and you want to know more about a late termination i am more that happy to share my experience with you (I lost my baby girl at 17wks, so your daughter would be a little further along by them).
in the meantime i just want to let you know i'm thinking of you and your daughter. and Crazycrew - how are you coping? you're obviously on here because of your daughter, but this must be having a huge affect on you too - i hope you have some support in real life too xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

CRAZYCREW Mon 15-Aug-11 23:21:30

oh yes... I have three other children other than her Emily 19 at Uni in london working in Turkey teaching French, Toby 10 and noah2 as well as my grandson Harvey 20 mths and he has bad heart conditions but they said he could be good and he could be bad.

They told us today they suspect what i above wrote as the left side of the hearet smaller although she could see some ventrice she said. God she is in a state she really is bless her and wish could take this all away from her. She is at high risk anyway as got diabetes since she was young.. I am stressed but uposet also for my daughter and the unknown. If you email me re termination I would like to know so i can prepeare her for it as think the best but it has to be her decision and her decision alson. Her son is going into hospital to have his tonsils out Thursday so lkets pray he is well shall we...

Thanks for being there its awful and then i logged onto facebook and her best freind just popped on she is 8 weeks prgnant!.............. oh does it get better. We are taking her with us to the seaside tomorrow to try and cheer her up.

Thanks again

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