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Anxiety/depression/derealisation - no help despite requests...

(5 Posts)
MaybeBaby220218 Wed 29-Nov-17 20:46:58

Hi all,
Looking for some advice or support from anyone that has been through, or currently going through, the same.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant and over the last month have been struggling with my anxiety, it was triggered by having to take time of work due to experiencing severe migraines, I was worried about the financial element and also how it would reflect on my absence record (a bit silly I know). But I managed to work myself up into such a state that my anxiety levels resulted in me being signed off for two weeks...

I suffered from anxiety in my teens and early twenties, but never needed intervention and although it was difficult I could manage it myself. This time around however I am really struggling, I have seen the GP who's signed me off and recommended I contact the local mental health service that offer CBT, I've done this and have been 'put on the waiting list' for therapy sessions, my midwife is also aware and very supportive and I've self referred to the perinatal mental health team. However there is a wait to be seen here too.

My anxiety usually presents with derealisation/depersonalisation where I feel very out of sorts and detached from everything - but usually only for a few days. This horrible floaty feeling has now been going on for about two weeks, I'm still 'functioning' but I feel like I'm doing everything on autopilot and don't feel connected to anything and am just going through the motions. Despite usually being very rational I can't seem to do anything to ground myself and feel like I'm like I'm going mad - I know that DR & DP are symptoms of anxiety and go when your body/mind returns to a calm state, but (and I'm assuming it's exacerbated by pregnancy) the feeling is so bad it's causing me a huge amount of upset and I've spent the last two weeks in tears and dread being left alone as all I do in ruminate. I'm really struggling to cope with the feelings of distress/panic but it seems I'm unable to get any help, I keep getting told someone will contact me in the next few weeks.

I feel like a burden on my partner and friends as I'm constantly tearful and needy when I'm usually really 'together', my fiancé doesn't really understand what's going on as this pregnancy is very much wanted, our baby is perfectly healthy and I have a really supportive circle of family and friends and no reason to be sad at all (I am very very lucky). I'm at a total loss as to what to do as feel close to breaking point, and unless I'm constantly distracted I feel anxious/panicky all day and completely detached from everything, I'm unable to get any joy from my pregnancy now either as I can't seem to connect with it... I feel like an observer in my own life sad

Has anyone been through this? Or something similar?
Thanks ladies xx

Be87 Thu 30-Nov-17 18:12:21

Hi ,
I am very sorry I hear you are going through this at present . Firstly let me start with the fact you are not alone , and the feelings you describe are very much out there but some women hide it or don’t know where to turn !
Pregnancy can aggravate these symptoms , it’s good your hospital has a mental health team , just keep chasing them up . I know it’s hard when you are struggling but call up and say that .
Other things you could try is reading online about self help tools - CBT can be done on your self in the meanwhile .
Try some sort of activity whether it’s swimming or yoga , excercise exhausts and clears the mind .
Do not worry about things in the past or future , think of the here and now . And do not feel bad about feeling this way .

I know being off work is stressful it self but there are laws and work cannot pressurise you . Work is work and they will survive , you and your baby are more important right now . Saying that if you can go back to work as that will keep you busy .

There are also online apps or online therapist that don’t tend to be too expensive but can keep you going for now . Search some apps .

Hope this helps a bit . 😊

Ivybank Mon 18-Dec-17 12:45:58


Like be87 said you are not alone. I was suffering something similar from about 16-20weeks and it is horrible, but it helped me to know it’s completely normal.
Like you I suffered from depression/anxiety was younger, which in hindsight is a benefit as you can recognise symptoms quicker.
This time round my GP recommend me for an online CBT course and the referral came through really quickly. It might be worth seeing if this is available in your area.
I hope you start feeling better soon. X

MaybeBaby220218 Mon 18-Dec-17 13:47:01

Hi both,
Thanks for the responses. Following the emotional breakdown I had at my antenatal appointment on Friday a GP has finally agreed to see me so have an appointment today at 3.15.

He’s recommended antidepressants (something that I’m very concerned about - re:side effects and health of baby) because my mood is now so low. I feel completely ridiculous for not being able to control this and I spend about 85% of my time awake in tears because I feel so far removed from myself and such a burden on everyone.

I’m feeling a little bit cross that it has taken nearly 3 months and for me to get into my current state for someone to intervene, I know that mental health teams are overloaded, but I think CBT would have really helped and combatted this in its early stages. But the local CBT service, CMHT and perinatal team, despite numerous referrals from GP & midwife, have done nothing sad.

Fingers crossed today is more productive - I’m not usually self indulgent and only ever go to the doctors if I feel like I’m dying, so feel like a total pain. But can’t deal with feeling so low and hating pregnancy so much when this is all I’ve wanted for 3 years sad xx

Relaxing2 Thu 21-Dec-17 09:06:36

How are you

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