Hi all, please bear with me, this may seem a little rambly.
I had my little girl 11 months ago, she was premature and the birth was, interesting, to say the least. When she was about 3 months old I started getting anxious every now and then, double checking to make sure the door was locked, checking if she was still breathing several times. But gradually it's processed into something more frightening.
Every single night, I become really paranoid. If it's dark, I can hear footsteps coming up there stairs or I can see something move out of the corner of my eye on my daughters monitor or I'll hear strange noises coming from it or I'll hear my daughters door open (my husband never hears a thing). Tonight I heard someone try my front door handle twice, my door squeaks so I can hear it a mile away, I woke my husband but he's heard so much of this kind of thing the past 4/5 months he's lost patience.
I'm terrified to go downstairs at night, I can just picture a shadow standing behind my front door so I won't go. I'm also terrified that something or someone is trying take or hurt my daughter. But these problems don't tend to affect me too much in the day time.
If I go to my doctor, they will probably think I'm mad and take my baby away from me or say that all new mothers are like this. Everyone I've talked to about this says it's natural and this is how it will always be now I have a baby.
But, I'm spending my nights terrified, not sleeping well, not enjoying anything anymore. Surely this can't be my life now forever?
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Am I losing my mind???
3 replies
Rubysmummy2016 · 27/01/2017 00:33
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