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Please, just listen..

(15 Posts)
Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 14:29:25

I have an amazing 10 weeks old son and I can't stop crying and feeling miserable. I have a husband who is sick of me crying and being stressed. I have a mother who is having hight blood pressure and need a doctor every time I cry or look sad. I just can't bottle up my feelings anymore. I can't look happy when I am not. My baby is not crying much and is not difficult. He simply has reflux and tummy troubles. Maybe any other mother can deal with it but I just get so stressed. my family call me crazy and paranoid already. Everyone talks aggressive to me like " stop moaning", " get on with it". I am doing my best for my son and some days I feel happy but most of the time I just feel scared and stressed because I don't understand what he wants and how to deal with it. Please help

Haggisfish Sun 11-Jan-15 14:34:11

Get to a dr to see if you have postnatal depression. And tell everyone to back off-your mum gets stressed seeing you-tell her not to come. Babies cry for lots of reasons-hunger, tired, want a cuddle and just because they can! I found it easier to get out for a walk in the afternoon.

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 14:38:15

My mum lives with me. She came to help and we were always close but these months after baby was born we became really angry with each other. She tries to help in any way she can but its just too much for her and in the result her health is deteriorating and its all my fault

strawberryshoes Sun 11-Jan-15 14:41:12

Goodness how unsupportive they sound. Please talk to your GP and health visitor. Pop out to your local sure start centre and chat to the people there, they can help.

10 days to in is very early you have every right to feel all sorts of emotions

seaoflove Sun 11-Jan-15 14:43:44

It is not your fault! If she needs a doctor every time you cry or look sad, I'd suggest she leave for the benefit of her own health. It's also very selfish of her to ignore your problems (which are valid and understandable) only to exaggerate her own. You need SUPPORT, not more anxiety.

Your husband also needs a kick up the arse for being such an insensitive knob.

Please see your doctor. Postnatal depression is very common, and the earlier you seek help, the sooner you will start feeling better. But you also need family support, and sympathy, and sleep. I'm guessing you don't get much...

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 14:47:27

Strawberry, it's been 10 weeks

strawberryshoes Sun 11-Jan-15 15:10:08

Sorry, that was my own sleep deprived brain! My advice remains though.

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 15:16:32

From my mum I expected to guide me and calm me down but she just adds to my stress " look at his red skin", " why is he having that pimple today"...I to,d her I don't need such comments and she told that she isn't an animal who can't speak I e if she has concerns about the baby she needs to tell me. Fair enough but my brain now can't adequa process all information. We were always incredibly close with my mum and I feel our relationship is ruined. This is one more thing that is gone from my " old life " and will never come back

Safmellow Sun 11-Jan-15 15:24:45

Agree - you need to see your GP. Don't minimise your feelings or tell yourself you are abnormal, many women experience what you are going through now. I spent the first 5 months feeling like the only thing keeping me going was my sense of duty.

Things will get better, honestly. I went out for long walks with DD in her pram as many days as I could, and babies change all the time so whenever I was at the end of my tether with one issue it would suddenly resolve itself and be replaced by something else. I also used to remind myself that one day DD would be older and my life would be 'normal' again. Typically now that she is growing I really miss the baby cuddles!

I actually think nature makes you feel as though you aren't quite doing well enough, so that the ensuing guilt makes you constantly strive to do better.
I hope your GP can help, in the meantime try to take each day as it comes and try not to feel guilty for what your mum and husband might be feeling, you need to concentrate on yourself and your son at the moment.

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 15:39:56

That is the hardest part ,samfellow, I am so dependant on the mood of people living with me. All my life I was just trying to make everyone happy. Usually I am hotel joking and cheering everyone up and I just feel like dying when I can't cheer up people I love and I feel it's because of me. I can't control myselft. I just want to cry

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 15:43:48

I will call go on Monday. He saw me during my 6 weeks heck and offered to put me on meds buti refused I was really hoping I can get better without it.

MrsMinton Sun 11-Jan-15 15:48:57

Take the meds. They will help. You are tired and in a tricky situation with your mom. They will just help you get back on top of your feelings.

Estrella1 Sun 11-Jan-15 16:01:05

All the advices I see in Internet is " talk to your family ". Nobody wants to listen to me in my family Nd they make me feel ashamed for feeling low sad ey will also be angry when they will find out I will be taking meds

strawberryshoes Sun 11-Jan-15 16:47:31

Do you maybe also have some friends you can talk to? Someone you can go round to have some cake and a cup of tea with? It is a real shame your family is not helping your mood or being supportive. You should not have to bury these feelings and your family should be reassuring you that you are doing well.

MrsMinton Sun 11-Jan-15 17:30:27

They have no right to be angry about that and you don't even have to tell them. Your GP might be able to direct you to a postnatal support group. Do you have a childrens centre near you?
You can pm me and I'll listen.

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