Reduced dose ADs and having a relapse

[Star8181]

Hi, I'm a newbie here, I didn't realise this forum existed til earlier.
I really need some moral support to keep going as I'm feeling so bad ATM (aren't we all).

I've had PND after both my babies, and my current tablets are 20mg of Citalpram. I've been feeling fab for over a year now, it's amazing what the tablets can do (anyone doubting whether to take the tabs, go for it, it has saved me).
I've decided to reduce my dose by biting them in 2, so I've been on 10mg for a week. I thought it would be a doddle, but oh, I was so wrong!
I feel sooo low again, in the space of a week! Irritable, grumpy, along with terrible anxiety which is giving me a bad tummy and that horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, like something bad is going to happen. Time is going so slow, and that's the worst thing. Ugh, it's just such a rubbish thing to have.

I should have probably spoken to the doctor first. So I've given up on the 10mg and gone back to 20mg. Got a doctors appointment but not until next Monday. Going to try and get one tomorrow instead. Not sure what the point is of the thread, just needed to vent how I feel, hubby not the best at understanding, bless him!

[SecretWitch]

Star, Welcome to MN! Well I don't think it is unreasonable to want to reduce your AD, especially when you are feeling better, I think it's always best to do so with your GP's assistance. I tried to take myself off paroxetine and it was a disaster ( super bad nightmares, insomnia)...

I'm glad you will be seeing your GP soon, hopefully he/she can help you step down if that is what you want to do.

I hope to see you on the boards..:)

[Star8181]

SecretWitch, thank you so much for the reply, it really does mean a lot. I've been to the doctor who said I could with try 10mg alternating with 20mg every day or just return to 20mg. In the surgery, I decided on going back to 20mg, but now thinking I can't be on antidepressants forever and I should at least give it a good shot. I was thinking since getting home that I might alternate 20mg and 15mg first, see if I can cope with that. Oh... Just realised I only have 20mg which would mean cutting a tab in quarter?!

Weird though that after just one 20mg that I feel better than yesterday, it's such a relief, like the cloud has lifted, just a little.

I was really hoping the GP might have said she's like to see me again, but nope. I feel like I need someone to 'keep an eye on me' at the mo, but I'll have to do it myself!

[SecretWitch]

I know exactly what you mean about the cloud being lifted! I forgot to mention I also experienced nausea when I just stopped taking Paroxetine. I was nauseous, anxious and just generally miserable. I took the routine dose and felt immediate relief! I did not have the terrible withdrawal symptoms on the step down schedule.

I'm sorry the GP did not suggest a follow for you also. Could you not make an appointment anyway or would that feel weird? My GP absolutely wanted to see me several times whilst working through the step down process.

I hope you continue to feel better. I shall be thinking about you

[Star8181]

Thank you for your kind words SecretWitch, it means a lot. Kiddies at my parents tonight so I can get some rest. Night x

[temporaryusername]

Star, I would make an appointment now for whatever future date you feel happy with - it may be reassuring to have that in place.

I think some of the withdrawal effects can be temporary, so if you do decide to continue reducing you might not have a ongoing relapse, but it is something to keep a close eye on. Do it really slowly also - you could stay alternating 10 and 20 for a few months and see if the bad feelings recede as you get used to the reduction. If they don't then you will know a bit more about where you are and you will only be one step away from the dose that has worked for you.

[Star8181]

Thanks for the reply, you've given me good advice. I think that's a great idea to book a doctors appointment for a few weeks time - I can always cancel it nearer the time if I don't need it.

I've stayed on 20mg for now. I felt I had to get myself back on an even keel first, before trying to reduce again more slowly. I'd like to give it another go, but I start a new job in 2 weeks time so I'm wary of trying at the moment. But, I'm also worried about trying to come off the tablets in the winter - I personally think, for me anyway, my mood is lower in the winter months, but on the other hand, I'm not waiting til next summer to try again!

[temporaryusername]

I hope you enjoy your new job. I think I'd stay on 20mg for now and not 'rock the boat' if I had something like that coming up. That is a good point about the winter, I hadn't thought about that but it is something my GP has mentioned before, staying with a dose till the spring..

Good luck with it all

[Dulra]

Hi Star
I was on the same AD as you twice first time after pnd on dd2 and then after pnd on dd3. The two times I weaned off them I had no side effects at all did not even notice coming off them but I did it really really slowly. Think it was about 3 or 4 months before I was fully off them. the following is what I did it might help:
for 2 weeks I took 20, 20, 10, 20, 20, 10 etc
For 2 weeks I took 20, 10, 20, 10, 20, 10 etc
For 2 weeks I took 20, 10, 10, 20, 10, 10 etc
For 2 weeks I took just 10s
For 2 weeks I took 10, 10, 0, 10, 10, 0 etc
For 2 weeks I took 10, 0, 10, 0 etc
For 2 weeks I took 10, 0, 0, 10, 0, 0 etc
Then stopped them altogether.
I used a pill box so I knew what I should be taking each day and as I said I did not feel anything coming off them. I think you reduced your dose too quick last time best of luck when you decide to try again
xx

[Star8181]

Thanks for the reply Dulra, I think that's a great plan you've written there - I think I will follow it. Although I think for now I am staying as I am, and I will think about reducing perhaps in the new year. As well as starting a new job, we have sold our house (within 2 days!) trying to find a new one, and may potentially be out of ours in 5 weeks! So, not the best time. Apparently moving house is the 3rd most stressful thing you can experience after divorce and death?! X