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Can PND set in after 8 months?

(4 Posts)
Doodledumdums Fri 30-Aug-13 09:37:19

When my son was first born, and really for the first 6 months, I was on top of everything. Loved being a new mum, took DS everywhere, made loads of new friends (great for me as i've never really had friends before), kept on top of cooking and housework and coped really well.

something has changed over the last couple of months though, and as much as I thoroughly adore my DS, I am beginning to hate my life. I regret everything, I feel sad all the time, and I feel like i'm just waiting for his bedtime. I feel terribly guilty that I have to go back to work soonish and leave him when I am all he has ever known. I am also dreading going back to my job as I feel that I am not very good at it, yet have to go back into a promoted role (for no extra money!), and am actually scared about how I will cope. I feel like I just coast through my life, and am waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what?

None of this has been helped by the fact that my DH basically announced the other day that he hasn't coped with the pay cut he received before DS was born (long story but he now earns 7k less than he did and is now on quite a low salary, as am I), and has consequently racked up 5k in credit card debts. taking our total combined debt to about 10k. Which terrifies me.

I have suffered from generalised anxiety disorder for years, and usually keep it under control, but lately I just can't. I am terrified about so many things. I cannot stop thinking about dying, and am constantly convinced something is wrong with me
or i'm going to be involved in an accident of some sort.

I have spent the last few weeks feeling really guilty that I feel like this. I really don't want to go back on medication, I just want to be able to live like a normal person and not worry about everythig and let everything upset me all the time. I am only 26, am I going to spend the rest of my life in a constant statenof worry and panic about everything?

Sorry, this is really long and I don't really know what I aimed to achieve by posting it, but it was helpful to type it all out anyway. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

LillyofWinchester Fri 30-Aug-13 19:30:15

I don't know much about this subject but I saw your post and didn't want to leave it unanswered. You have had so much change over the past few months and its such a huge adjustment, no wonder it can feel overwhelming. On top of that the job and money problems are in your mind too. Could you speak to your GP for some support? Or a family friend who you trust? If you reach out to people they will be able to help in whatever way you need.

Hoping you feel better soon

Doodledumdums Fri 30-Aug-13 21:43:50

Thanks for replying Lilly smile

I am seeing my health visitor on Thursday so I should probably mention it to her then. Failing that, i'm seeing my GP for something else next Monday, so I could talk to her about it. I just feel so stupid having to go down that route again. I just want to be able to cope without medical intervention. I went to London today and was absolutely a jibbering anxious mess by the time I got home, so I know I need to do something, I just feel so disappointed in myself that it is necessary.

I've only got about 10 more weeks at home with my DS, and I am totally ruining it by being like this. It isn't fair on him at all and he's probably picking up on my anxiety.

Thank you for replying to me, I appreciate it.

Blue73 Thu 17-Oct-13 12:53:25

Hello there, I know this is a bit late and I do hope you feel things are under control a bit more but thought I would just say that everything you feel is actually normal. The majority of people have money worries, I know that does not help when it is happening to you but the fact that you have aired your concerns shows you are a competent person. Have you had CBT before? If not, I would suggest asking your GP to refer you for sessions. As for your partner, there is a charity called Partners as Parents, I am sure they run sessions where you can both deal with the changes in life. My partner is in debt, and we are living in the one bedroom flat I bought years ago but we cannot afford to move out. I am 3 months into maternity leave and already concerned about what job I will go back to. Sadly, this is the UK today, no one has a good time of it. I just try to take each day as it comes and when the worry starts hovering I make a list of all the good stuff. I know it sounds trite but it does help. As for your partner, getting a pay cut probably knocked his confidence and men do not like to admit their feelings. Do you have a garden? Again, this sounds daft but if you do and could get him interested in it as a place to grow your own veg ect? It will help him to feel like a provider again, and give him a role within your new family. It may sound mad, but I know of several husbands who were not coping with changes, then got allotments and it helped them to see where they fitted in to the family! You're not alone with worry, we're all feeling it and given you are seeking help, you will be fine.

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