When my son was first born, and really for the first 6 months, I was on top of everything. Loved being a new mum, took DS everywhere, made loads of new friends (great for me as i've never really had friends before), kept on top of cooking and housework and coped really well.
something has changed over the last couple of months though, and as much as I thoroughly adore my DS, I am beginning to hate my life. I regret everything, I feel sad all the time, and I feel like i'm just waiting for his bedtime. I feel terribly guilty that I have to go back to work soonish and leave him when I am all he has ever known. I am also dreading going back to my job as I feel that I am not very good at it, yet have to go back into a promoted role (for no extra money!), and am actually scared about how I will cope. I feel like I just coast through my life, and am waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what?
None of this has been helped by the fact that my DH basically announced the other day that he hasn't coped with the pay cut he received before DS was born (long story but he now earns 7k less than he did and is now on quite a low salary, as am I), and has consequently racked up 5k in credit card debts. taking our total combined debt to about 10k. Which terrifies me.
I have suffered from generalised anxiety disorder for years, and usually keep it under control, but lately I just can't. I am terrified about so many things. I cannot stop thinking about dying, and am constantly convinced something is wrong with me
or i'm going to be involved in an accident of some sort.
I have spent the last few weeks feeling really guilty that I feel like this. I really don't want to go back on medication, I just want to be able to live like a normal person and not worry about everythig and let everything upset me all the time. I am only 26, am I going to spend the rest of my life in a constant statenof worry and panic about everything?
Sorry, this is really long and I don't really know what I aimed to achieve by posting it, but it was helpful to type it all out anyway. Thanks for reading if you got this far.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Can PND set in after 8 months?
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Doodledumdums · 30/08/2013 09:37
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