Male PND

[RockChick1984]

Hi, I hope I'm posting this in the right place! Me and dh have recently had our first baby, I suffered antenatal depression however thankfully haven't followed it with PND. My husband however is really struggling to cope, he has posted on a dad's forum and had no response so has asked me to copy his post onto here, in the hope that he may get some advice or support.

My baby boy is 6 months old now,but lately I have started to feel totally isolated,I have my wife,but she suffered from ante natal depression (thankfully she doesn't have p.n.d) so really I can't talk to her about it all the time... I have been feeling so low,I have never contemplated leaving my wife,but I just can't seem to shake this mood,I did try talking to my friend who is a single dad...but he doesn't appear to understand,I know I'm not the only who has been thru this...I just want to get people's advice/opinions as I don't know how to shake this feeling?

I have read a bit online about male post partum depression, but there's very little info out there and dh is trying to avoid going to the dr as he has been on antidepressants before and hated them. I hope someone can help, I've never seen him like this, he loves being a dad but he's just so unhappy :(

[Pang]

Sounds like your DH has a history of depression. I think he should go back to his GP. Just make it clear that he does not want to mediate the problem ( at this point). The GP should be able to refer him to a counselor. Otherwise have you thought of contacting the mental health charity called MIND. They have a website so google them and you should be able to find some support in your area.
Good Luck

[Albrecht]

Having a baby is a huge change for both of you but probably in different ways, plus he's dealing with the stress of his partner having been depressed (not trying to make you feel guilty, its great you are supporting each other).

I agree he should go to gp, just state he doesn't want ads and find out the options. Even if the waiting list is long its better to be on it. Is he back at work? If he works for a large company, local gov etc they may have a counselling service for employees.

Its really good he's made that step to talk to someone. They don't need to solve his problems or even get it really. They have shown in experiments that we feel better just from talking to (at!) someone we trust and like. He needs to lean a little on friends, family, work colleagues for his, yours and your baby's sake.

OP did you get professional help with the antenatal depression because its worth asking them if they can suggest any sort of help for your dp. My therapist had some sessions with dh because he was my support so everyone needed him to be fit to be there for me.

And in 6 months your baby will be so different, starting to walk and talk, a little person but hopefully also sleeping better and being a bit more independent so you will have a little more space for yourselves.