There are very similar threads are on here all over the place, and even tho i've read them all, it doesn't seem real until you're experiencing it for yourself. Sorry if i am just repeating other things...i just don't know what else to do now. My midwife is useless...i am just a number on her conveyor belt of women she sees. Tried explaining how i feel but she just brushes over it. Husband has an incling of how i feel but i am too scared to tell him how im really feeling.
I'm sure most of my low mood stems from breastfeeding. I hate it. Feeds for an hour every 2 hours, then takes 40 mins to change wind and settle. Husband very alarmed at seeing me doing nothing but feed or cry (or sometimes both at the same time). Although i felt bonded to my baby when he was first born, every feed makes him feel a little bit further away. I have started expressing and giving him EBM, but i cant express enough to satisfy him so he's on top up AF. He's so windy on the bottles any time saved on the feeding now goes on winding. Im still only getting 15-20 min naps at a time.
I feel so guilty that im feeding him formula. I gave birth in the same week as 2 of my very close friends and they're doing brilliantly - feeding well, out the house, enjoying their babies and their new roles. I have managed to get a clean pair of knickers on this morning - a considerable achievement for me. How am supposed to get to bf support groups when i cant get out the house?
3 weeks in and I feel like such a failure - am crying while i sit here typing this. Feel like he deserves someone so much better than me as his mother.
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nettie79 · 29/06/2011 12:30
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