DP and I had a temporary split at the start of May. Faults on both sides. Our problems sprung from struggling with everyday life plus wonderful but demanding preschooler (3yo), little time for 'us', growing apart, sex life dwindling, poor communication. We had been so busy dealing with the 'daily grind' that we really ahd begun to grow apart but I don't think we really realised it was happening.
We had a huge row where I asked him to leave, I didn't mean in TBH, I was just very angry, but he was very offended and left to stay with a friend. We have since taken a long hard look at ourselves and our relationship, realised how much we love each other, identified sticking points, agreed where we need to change and/or compromise. He is now moving back in and we are both delighted. I realise its not all going to be plain sailing but we are both feeling very positive about the future.
The decision to try again has not been taken lightly, we are aware that its very unfair on DS to have disrupted his stable home and then have daddy move back again but we both really want to try again and change some areas of our relationship dynamic.
Anyhow, cut to me telling my (divorced) parents. Mum said "oh right, I will just wait for the next fall out then". Dad just said "oh", when I asked him if he was pleased he said very unenthusiastically "well whatever you want I suppose, but he's going to have to change". I am so very hurt that between them they couldn't muster any support or positive comments. I realise they will be concerned that this may not be the right thing but was hoping for some support and feel really upset. I guess it shouldn't matter what they think but somehow it does and its made me feel so sad.
Neither of them are award winners in picking perfect partners or conventional relationships- Dad on third marriage to very lovely but totally unconventional Thai lady 20 years his junior. Mum on fourth relationship with nice man (second and third were abusive) whom she treats with contempt much of the time.
I know I shouldn't care but I am really hurt. I haven't confided the details of our split with them as I find them difficult to talk to but if they asked I would be able to explain to them why we have taken this decision.
So AIBU or are they wrong not to be supportive?
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AIBU?
To be gutted by my parents reaction to reconciliation with DP
26 replies
whatdoesntkillyou · 30/06/2010 15:53
OP posts:
thesecondcoming ·
30/06/2010 22:46
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thesecondcoming ·
01/07/2010 08:32
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