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To be really fed up with DH's attitude?

(14 Posts)
StrictlyBoogying Sun 01-Nov-09 17:49:30

Hi. DD1 has been toilet trained for a while but keeps having the odd accident. She still has a nappy at night. My DH gets our daughters up on a Sunday but doesn't take DD1's nappy off despite me asking him to. I got up at 10 and she'd been up since 7 peeing in her nappy. DH then decided to take her to the cinema and wanted her to wear a nappy during the film. I asked him to get her to pee before they went in and again when they came out and she'd been fine. They're not back but my MIL just called to say they'd popped in there and had forgotten DD's pants. This means she's been in her nappy since 12.
I know this is a boring rant but I'm really annoyed. She's 2.10 and has to be toilet trained for nursery in Jan or they won't take her. Aaaaarrgghh!

BalloonSlayer Sun 01-Nov-09 17:56:39


What about getting rid of the night nappies? Go to a bed mat covered by a small sheet which you can whip off when wet?

bellissima Sun 01-Nov-09 17:58:56

I do sympathise. Don't know how you can (gently) stress to him that letting her wear a nappy for hours is not nice/healthy/helping her.

On the nursery point - now others are no doubt more informed than me - ie please correct/confirm anybody - but i have been told that they are not allowed to be so strict - there are after all children with disabilities who find toilet training very difficult and they can't exclude them. more generally (as this probably doesn't apply to your DD) I think that if you are making the effort they will be understanding about the odd accident. But this doesn't let DH off the hook of helping to train, even if it is inconvenient at times.

sb6699 Sun 01-Nov-09 18:08:41

Cant you use pull-ups so she can still go to the toilet but it wont matter if she has an accident.

Then when your dh sees that she CAN use the toilet he'll feel more confident about her not being in a nappy at all.

sb6699 Sun 01-Nov-09 18:10:09

Looks like your dh is worried she'll have an accident when you're not around and he'll be left to clear it up.

Cant you use pull-ups so she can still go to the toilet but it wont matter if she has an accident.

Then when your dh sees that she CAN use the toilet he'll feel more confident about her not being in a nappy at all.

sb6699 Sun 01-Nov-09 18:10:32

Sorry, dont know what happened there!

Jamieandhismagictorch Sun 01-Nov-09 18:17:22

YANBU. You know him better than me, but it strikes me your DH is just being lazy.

Sory, have to disagree with you BalloonSlayer. There's no rush to be dry at night, is there ?

red37 Sun 01-Nov-09 18:19:21

not sure if this will work, but I used to put undies over ds nappy when we went out, it made him feel like a big boy, so he would purposefully ask to go to thetoilet just because he liked to pull his undies down

if they leak fine, no big deal

that was a little tip from a child minder

it worked for ds cause he always got confused over pull ups, nappies and undies

Jamieandhismagictorch Sun 01-Nov-09 18:24:10

I just think that if the OP is making a concerted effort to potty train, and it's going well, then it's a bit confusing for a child to be back in nappies/pullups/whatever. I feel a bit annoyed on your behalf actually, OP

Take your point red

CaptainUnderpants Sun 01-Nov-09 18:31:57

YANBU - its can be really cobfusing for a child to be in pants one miunte nad nappies the next.

On the nusrery front - I don't think they are allowed to say they wont take them if they are not toilet trained - Disability Discrimination Act.

If howvere they say we preferr to have them toilet trained but if they have an accident you will have to come in and chnage them then thast the way they get round it .

I would give the nursery a ring and get it clarified . in the menatime keep going with the nappy training - stick with night time nappies as night time dryness will come after they have been dry during the day .

CarGirl Sun 01-Nov-09 18:41:53

I think perhaps get your dd enthusiastic about binning her night nappy in the morning and choosing her own knickers for the day.

Night time dryness is controlled by production of certain hormones so that could be years away yet.

I would be really cross with my DH if he were that lazy over toilet training! It's a bit grim on your dc to have been wearing the same wet nappy for 17 hours!

Ineedmorechocolatenow Sun 01-Nov-09 18:47:19

I'd be cross too. We've been training DS (2.11) for months and it can really set him back if, for some reason, I forget to take his night nappy off straight away.

He sounds like he can't be bothered to sort out the mess and also can't be bothered to remember to keep asking her if she needs to wee...

Reallytired Sun 01-Nov-09 18:55:30

Could you not get some cloth pull ups for things like the cinema.

bright bots

Lots of children are not ready for potty training at 2 years and 11 months. If your daughter is ready then she will get it really quickly. Don't worry about nursery, its against the law for a nursery that recieves governant vouchers to have potty training as a condition of entry. You can report them to OFSTED if you have a problem.

red37 Sun 01-Nov-09 18:56:42

Oh and to clarify, my dh was lazy in the beginning with the toilet training hence the confusion of my ds.

let him read this

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