to be really pissed off with ds1??

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

forget everything in the past i have posted about him. I have spent the last 2 weeks looking for a new school for him due to bullying, I have also spent over £90 doing so. Anyway today he was very rude to me (this morning) so while we were out I didn't buy him the usual bag of crisps i buy both ds's on a saturday when we are shopping. The result??

He has text his fucking father saying

"Mummy is fed up of me can i live with you you will be fairer to me"

over a fucking bag of crisps!!! and no i have not sworn at him, in fact i have not said a bloody word...but i can see me confiscating his mobile....

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

excuse my swearing on here, rather here than at him tbh!

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

would it be an option for him to live with his dad.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Send him to live with his dad.

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Life, no chance he has not seen him in 4 years!

his father plays mind games with him....but the reality is he does not want ds1

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

OldLady, he would be begging me to come home within seconds of leaving here.

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

maybe then thats what you should do - show him that it isn't greener at his dads and tell him when he then comes back that things have to change.

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

there was a lot of hassle with his father a few weeks ago where his father told him if he stayed for a weekend he would see him but if he didn't then forget he existed. DS1 said "if you make me go I will run away because I do not want to stay anywhere near him".

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

I am going to go and find a field and scream!!!!! God I am exhausted over all thats happened the last few weeks!

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

I'm tempted to say you should abandon him on his dad's doorstep but I know you won't.

Yes, confiscate his mobile. Make him work for it back. And when he's rude to you, stare him hard in the eye and say, "What did you just say?" Then turn and walk away.

I cannot abide children who are rude to their own parents.

[UndomesticHousewife]

Bit at the suggestion that at the first sign of arguments you should get rid of him.

I don't think he truely wants to live with his dad esp as he hasn't seen him for so long, he just being a moody teenager, don't take it personally, discipline as you normally would then forget about it.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hi ladyeven

My ds is not similar to yours - I can tell anecdotes like your op
I refer to them as his little toad behaviour

Very very annoying given the effort I go to to home educate him

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

TSC, I saw your thread last night and really felt for you! Am so glad she got back safely!!!!

I have confiscated his mobile it is currently sitting on my table, he is gonna have work his ass off for me to let him have it back.

I did say fine then you can go, he just looked at me and said "I don't want to"

I just looked at him ....then why the heck did he think it was fun to send that frigging text!!!!

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Undomestic, I didn't suggest i get rid of him...and trust me this is not the first time!!! look at the history of chat most posters on here know how awkward things have been for a while!!! however we had been making such progress the last 5 weeks that I thought we were actually getting somewhere. The rudeness was him yelling at me that i should be a decent mother and not expect or ask him to load the dishwasher, did i not know who he was

wish he was a teenager, he has only just turned 11!

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Laura, HE was something I was looking at but i think I would be in need of valium lmao

[LauraIngallsWilder]

I thought you had decided to go for it - but I can see that school would be a valuable respite/break for you both

Do you think maybe he sent the text just to get a reaction?
You not buying him crisps because he has been rude and making him do chores isnt a reason to cause uproar - so perhpaps he is trying to communicate some other 'message' to you - as he obviously doesnt want to go to his dads!

[UndomesticHousewife]

LadyEvenStars.. I wasn't saying that you were suggesting that!!!!
There were a few posters that said it, thats what I was surprised at.

Don't worry too much abot this setback, he's quite young and sounds like he's going through a lot at the moment.

Just take it in your stride but do discipline as normal.

Fwiw, my 9 yr old sometimes speaks to me like that and it sends me loopy

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Laura, I had decided to go for it but then realised school is best for him, just not the one he was in!! lol.
He causes uproar over everything he doesn't like or see as fair! but the last few weeks things have got better until yesterday and today.

He saw the fact that I bought ds2 crisps and not him as unfair so had to pay me back....hence the text.

Undomestic he has gone through a lot, I have done things differently to how I used to do things in the way of discipline. I would have (back then) shouted and it would have ended up a long battle...instead I asked him for his phone turned it off and put it down beside me...cue his shouting and yelling what an evil mum i was and how he hopes his father contacts him as he is moving out. I just said ok and carried on typing on here!!!

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Well done, Lady ES. I'm not familiar with all the history, but it sounds as if you handled it well.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Lady - have you had any joy finding him another school?
I hope so

Its a horrid situation to be in - is he stil attending the 'current' school?

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Laura, I have 2 schools as an option! so I will have a good hard think before i decide.

No he has not been back and is not going back nope no way not ever lol.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Great that you have 2 options - I hope that works out well

I hope the time you have with him at home in the meantime is good [hopeful]

[LadyEvenstarsCauldren]

Laura if not I am retreating to the cellar ALONE

[LauraIngallsWilder]