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AIBU?

in worrying about my neighbours little girls?

38 replies

JazzieJeff · 20/10/2009 19:50

I am worried about my next door neighbours' little girls. Since dh and I moved into our flat 7 months ago, we constantly hear them screaming at them to the point where they are bellowing and their voices are cracking with the strain. It's quite often combined with hysterical crying and loud bangs. I've nipped home un the day before and heard similar and its gotten worrying. Dh and I have both tried knocking on the door but to no answer, and when we see them and say hello, they barely acknowledge us. I wouldn't make a fuss, I know kids are trying and the best of us get frustrated, but you have to believe me when I say it'd be frightening for a lot of adults let alone little girls. I don't know what to do, or if I'm overreacting. I don't want to get anyone into trouble but neither do I want to be the indirect cause of a child's pain. AIBU and what do I do? Please help, I feel a bit stuck

OP posts:

Report

famishedass · 20/10/2009 19:51

how old are the girls?

TheHerbs · 20/10/2009 19:52

You could call the NSPCC. I think it is worth a shot tbh.

fernie3 · 20/10/2009 19:52

Its hard - my kids are load and scream but not constantly its more of a scream every now and then with loud background noise!

so you think they may be abused or neglected? I think you can call the NSPCC for advice without getting anyone in trouble - not sure though!

fernie3 · 20/10/2009 19:53

lol should be loud not load and do not so - typing with baby on lap !

nooka · 20/10/2009 19:54

I agree with the Herbs, ring the NSPCC, if nothing else they can talk you through your worries, and if more needs to be done will let you know what to do or take it from there.

JazzieJeff · 20/10/2009 20:00

Tbh it isn't the kids who are loud, we barely hear them. Of course that doesn't mean they aren't naughty! But screaming to that extent is awful. It's actually made me jump a few times. The girls are 6 and 4 at a guess, but I've seem them about twice in total, they seem to keep them in the flat quite a bit.

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 20/10/2009 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatNanPlus · 20/10/2009 20:12

So it is the adults you hear screaming not the children?

Call the NSPCC helpline.

hanaboo · 20/10/2009 20:13

do u seriously mean CONSTANT screaming and shouting?
it does sound worrying

GooberIsLockedInTheBootOfMyCar · 20/10/2009 20:14

Your insticnts are telling you to do something for the girls. I think you must listen to your instincts and do something.
Call NSPCC or SS.
You are in a very aukward position, I feel for you, BUT you would hate yourself if the worst happened to them and you'd done nothing.

dilemma456 · 20/10/2009 20:16

Message withdrawn

roneef · 20/10/2009 20:19

Folllow your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable - repoert it ASAP

Kayzr · 20/10/2009 20:22

I would ring NSPCC or SS. You'd never forgive yourself if something was going on.

KimiTheThreadSlayingAxeKiller · 20/10/2009 20:27

I would call he SS

RainRainGoAway · 20/10/2009 20:31

Go with your gut instinct. Call SS or NSPCC. Are you a nosy neighbour who is getting the wrong end of the stick (at one end of the spectrum) or someone who might help that family and the problems they are having. I know which way I would rather make the 'mistake'.

GooberIsLockedInTheBootOfMyCar · 20/10/2009 20:32

BTW, I am sure you can do this anonimously if you are concerned about the neighbour knowing it was you.

JazzieJeff · 20/10/2009 20:36

hanaboo, it is very frequent and today I got sent home early because I was poorly and since about half ten there's been about 4 full on screaming sessions and a couple of little ones.
all you guys are probably wondering why I've not reported before... It's just as a child I lived next door to a shouty sort of mum, we were always hearing her but that seemed to be her natural thing iyswim. I used to go over and play a fair bit and everyone just let it wash over them. Sounds odd I know! I would just die if I were wrong. Dh called social services to enquire about what to do and they just said, 'well they aren't on the at risk register. If you're worried you can call the police to check on them' and that was that!

OP posts:

Toffeepopple · 20/10/2009 20:39

I know my neighbours sometimes hear me shout - which is not ideal and I am not proud of it. But they also hear us singing, playing, having stories in the garden, etc. Hopefully the full picture reassures them enough to know that the shouts are out of character and not the full picture.

And we always open the door because one set of crazy neighbots go to lots of fancy dress parties so always let the kids see them all dressed up first.

If you are feeling nervous it is probably not just the shouts but also the wider picture - lack of eye contact, etc. In which case a call to NSPCC is in order.

My sister-in-law is VERY VERY loud and SS were called about her by concerned neighbours. It was absolutely fine. They did visit, I think, but soon found out that she lives life several decibels above the rest of us and that the family relationships were fine. It hasn't caused her any long-term issues.

stainesmassif · 20/10/2009 20:42

definitely report to ss.

Kevlarhead · 20/10/2009 20:44

Local Social Services Referral team.

DOn't bother with NSPCC, they just seem to write down everything you say, and then ring SS and read it out to then...

JazzieJeff · 20/10/2009 20:46

Dilemma456, I've seen the older one with her mum on the school run about twice so I'm guessing It's the younger one at home all day.
I'm also very aware that these flats are typical, identi-kit flats probably not constructed with the thickest walls.

OP posts:

edam · 20/10/2009 20:48

I think you should call the NSPCC - think from an earlier post your dh tried SS and they just said 'call the cops'?

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Hando · 20/10/2009 20:52

Have you seen the dad? Perhaps one of the parents is being abusive to the other and the screams and bangs are them fightingand then you hear the kids crying because they are scared?

I think from what you have said and the fact this is a regular occurance throughtout the day /evening, you should ring SS and ask them to investigate.

JazzieJeff · 20/10/2009 20:55

Lol at toffeepopple! But I do agree, there's a bigger picture with you and your kiddies and you obviously do a wonderful job and have happy, well adjusted children.
I also totally identify with the fact that larger families are going to be louder. No brainer really, but you'd expect to hear the kids more than the parents... or at least as much!

Thanks to everyone for such understanding responses, I am very grateful xx

OP posts:

Jujubean77 · 20/10/2009 20:56

oh they are v young . I would report to SS. This sounds awful from what you say.

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