to force DD to invite an ex-friend to her party

[pipWereRabbit]

Ok - I'm a bit scared of posting in AIBU, but have tried elsewhere and not got any responses, and I do so need some help with this dilemma.

DDs 6th birthday party is looming and we are having only about 10 children round to our house for an old-fashioned party games and tea type party.

I'm trying to get DD to finalise the invites as I don't really know who she really enjoys playing with at school (all sorts of names are mentioned off and on).

But one girl is causing a dilemma - and I need your advice.

DD and girl were best friends throughout reception year, but things turned sour when my DD was invited to the girl's party a few weeks ago. She was the only non-family member and the girl ignored her and did not play with her.

Since then DD has told me often that the girl no longer plays with her at school and ignores DDs attempts to play.

DD is adamant that she does not want this girl at her party. Tonight she said that the girl 'does not play with me, ignores me and is nasty'.

However, I can see it causing problems for DD (she's struggling to make friends at school as it is) and upset for the girl if she is not invited. Especially as I have a horrible suspicion that they may have made up again by DD party date. After all they are only 5/6 yo and not experienced in the niceties of social invitations.

SO what do you all think - AIBU to tell DD this girl has to come to her party?

[BiteOfFun]

I would only invite her if you are inviting all the other girls from her class. Otherwise, keep it to guests your dd actually wants.

[MaMight]

Don't invite her if your dd doesn't want to. If they make friends again closer to the time, invite her at the last minute.

[Podrick]

Agree with mamight

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

Are you friends with the girl's mother? Ask her what happened at her DDs party and explain the problem. Perhaps without mentioning the "and is nasty" bit though

[kitbite]

Why not ask her teacher? They will have a better idea of frienships and whether this one is terminal. But on principal no, I wouldn't invite someone if ds didn't want to.

[2rebecca]

Yes, I had a big split with a girl and my mum wanted me to invite her to my party which made me not want a party as we then hated each other so much. Who your kids are friends with is none of your business. I would mention it to the friend's mum if you know her well, but she will probably be aware they don't like each other.
If they make up before the party she can have a last minute invite.

[pipWereRabbit]

Thanks for your advice everyone. Still thinking about it.
And I thought the sleepless nights were tough with a newborn .