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Only girls not invited to a Disco party

(66 Posts)
savantista Tue 13-Oct-09 17:46:49

Message withdrawn

cornsilk Tue 13-Oct-09 17:47:53

How awful. sad The other mother is a cow.

pjmama Tue 13-Oct-09 17:49:08

Mean and spiteful? Is there more to this tale, why do you think the mother is being mean and spiteful?

gerontius Tue 13-Oct-09 17:50:29

If your children have never been keen to invite her to their party, does that not just suggest that they don't like each other? The only difference being that you invited her anyway.

Hulababy Tue 13-Oct-09 17:53:51

It is always mean and spiteful to exclude just one or two children from a big group party. Anyone who would do such a thing to a child, without a really good reason, must be rather npleasant.

Whether you can say anything or not is another matter.

diddl Tue 13-Oct-09 17:55:34

Why would you make your daughters invite a girl to their party when they don´t want to?

As for calling her mother is a mean witchhmm

Sounds to me as if she is respecting her daughters wishes,tbh.

Hulababy Tue 13-Oct-09 17:57:45

I am suprised people think it is okay for the mum to invite every other girl int he class, bar the OP's girls.

There is a very similar thread on MN in Actve right nw, where a boy has been the only one not invited to a class party - yet on there everyone things the mum who did the inviting (or non inviting) is in the wrong, yet the opposite on here. How strange.

pjmama Tue 13-Oct-09 18:00:10

Thoughtless and a bit cruel I agree, but spiteful is a very strong word which implies it was a deliberate and malicious act meant to hurt these girls or their mum's feelings. Just looking for a bit more context before forming an opinion as to whether the OP should say something?

diddl Tue 13-Oct-09 18:00:27

It is sad that they are the onlytwonot invited.

But this is the third year that they haven´t been invited.

So I don´t see why there is any surprise that they haven´t been invitedm tbh.

bigchris Tue 13-Oct-09 18:03:27

Message withdrawn

Hulababy Tue 13-Oct-09 18:05:26

bigchris - hopefully if the mum is a MNetter she will see this and see how mean she is to exclude just two girls from the party.

wannaBe Tue 13-Oct-09 18:06:45

"Why would you make your daughters invite a girl to their party when they don´t want to?" Perhaps because deliberately excluding just one child is really not nice, and allowing your children to exclude one child gives out the message that doing so is ok, when it isn't.

Bigchris so what if the other mother is a mumsnetter. I probably wouldn't say anything to the other mother in person but i don't think it hurts for people like this to be told that the way in which they behave really isn't very nice, or a good example to set to their children.

Hulababy Tue 13-Oct-09 18:06:58

"Thoughtless and a bit cruel I agree, but spiteful is a very strong word which implies it was a deliberate and malicious act meant to hurt these girls "

Oh come on. Surely the mum is not thick?! Anyone over the age of about 5 or 6y could work out that to exclude just two girls from the class is going to upset or offend those two children and/pr their mum! So she has deliberately made that chose to exclude them, and has therefore made the decision to potentially upset and offend them.

wannaBe Tue 13-Oct-09 18:08:52

quite agree hula. I can only imagine that the people defending this woman's actions would do the same. hmm

freakname Tue 13-Oct-09 18:09:43

YABU
If left to the kids they usually choose to invite their friends. They don't try to do the political thing that interfering mums do.
Your girls don't even like the child in question so why should they go?
The girl probably knows your twins don't like her so why would she want them at her party?
What a funny thing to teach children. Invite people you don't like. Do adults invite people they don't like or get on with to their dinner parties or do they invite friends?
I've never done whole class parties. My children take treats into class to share with everyone. But at the party, it will only be friends whom they play with and like.

Some people think parties are tit for tat obligation. My child came to your's so your's is coming to mine etc. Other people (crazy!) think parties are about their child having a great time.

handbagqueen Tue 13-Oct-09 18:11:46

I think with young children its is important for the parents to teach them about kindness and thinking of other peoples feelings. So even if your child wants to exclude a small number of children from a party it is your duty as a parent to tell them its an unkind thing to do. I think if more parents thought of other rather than following the demands of their children the world would be a nicer place.

So yes the other mother is a cruel witch!! I would invite some of your girls friends out that day to do something more fun.

pjmama Tue 13-Oct-09 18:12:24

Fair enough I guess. I just wondered if the girls perhaps can't stand each other and the Mum in question isn't as firm with her DD about it as the OP is with hers? Makes her insensitive and a pushover, but not necessarily spiteful. I just don't like that word and think it is generally overused.

diddl Tue 13-Oct-09 18:12:35

Is it just me who doesn´t get the point of inviting a whole class?

Or inviting children who your child doesn´t want?

It is unkind to exclude just two.

But I think that the signs were there that they wouldn´t be invited.

How old are they?

wannaBe Tue 13-Oct-09 18:13:29

so excluding just one child is perfectly ok then? hmm

I imagine you would all be just as understanding if it was your own child being excluded while the whole rest of the class went to a party?

I totally understand the concept of having parties that only the select friends are invited to, but if it's a whole class party then it's not on to exclude just one child.

freakname Tue 13-Oct-09 18:13:48

3 years in a row? Are your girls telling you everything about how they get on with this girl at school? It's quite a statement.

How do you get on with the mum in general? Do you get the feeling she doesn't like you?

diddl Tue 13-Oct-09 18:16:20

OP, are you sure that all the other girls have been invited?

stuffitllllama Tue 13-Oct-09 18:17:21

Yanbu, I commented on the other thread too. What is it with people? How bloody badly brought up is it to deliberately single people out? I hope your girls are ok.

I don't know why this is getting a different kind of response to the other thread. Unless it's yet another face fit club, this time on here.

Savantista take heart, your girls are lovely I'm sure and you're not wrong to feel aggrieved on their behalf.

stuffitllllama Tue 13-Oct-09 18:18:27

Wannabe I'm with you. Well put.

wannaBe Tue 13-Oct-09 18:19:40

I wonder how far people think it is acceptable for excluding just one child to go.

So you can exclude one child from a party and people think this is ok. Let's say all the children are playing a game in the playground, is it ok to exclude just one child from that game?

Children get divided up into teams for an activity and get to choose who they're with, is it ok for everyone to exclude just one child?

Let's be realistic here, if you're having a whole class party you're not going to be playing with every single other child at that party, so it's not going to kill you to invite that one child, that one child will have friends in the class too that he/she can play with...

freakname Tue 13-Oct-09 18:21:02

diddl I don't get the point of it either.

wannabe I nor my children would bat an eyelid if they weren't invited to something. I think it goes with the territory.

It's quite petty and over sensitive to think of it as some kind of character assassination. It's just one event.

They may become friends in the future if that's any consolation.

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