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Or is this just really bloody rude?!

(30 Posts)
ErikaMaye Sat 10-Oct-09 17:20:19

So have five weeks left until my due date, and the friend we've asked to be Godmother has been nagging suggesting that I have a baby shower. I don't particularly want a bit fuss as am feeling rather fat and tired! but agreed that a "Pre-Parent Meal" with DP and my closest friends might be really nice. So I arranged and booked it yesterday for two weeks time, and sent text / facebook invitations out to those we want there.

Slight back story - my secondary school friends buggered off when I got my scholarship to sixth form, then were very bitchy when I got ill (have ME), ruined my birthday party this year (I invited them to be friendly although they never invite me out - they sat there complaining there was no vodka and playing on my brothers Wii all day, didn't even wish me happy birthday), and called me an unsociable bitch when I said I wasn't going to go to see a comedian that I don't find funny - because its three days before my due date.

So anyway - I decided not to invite any of them to this meal, simply because I really can't be bothered. I logged onto facebook this morning just like normal, and one of this group has commented on the event post on my profile saying, "Hey hun, sorry but its X's birthday, don't think any of us are going to be able to make it". shock They weren't INVITED!!! I just think that is so rude and presumptuous. Am really quite annoyed!!

So am I being incredibly hormonal unreasonably, or is this just down right cheek?

smoking2shoes Sat 10-Oct-09 17:23:20

oh don't worry about them.
I think you have moved on and grown up and they are still kids iynwim
(5 weeks, how exciting)

TeamEdwardTango Sat 10-Oct-09 17:24:13

Post a note back informing them they weren't invited in the first place??

TBH, I suggest you forget all about them and just get on with life. It's too short to bother about people who don't respect you.

izzybiz Sat 10-Oct-09 17:25:11

You have to be carefull on FB whenn you make an event, if you don't put it as a private event, it will show on your news feed and anyone can RSVP!

Sharpyharpy Sat 10-Oct-09 17:25:14

Its cheek but also a nice opportunity to say ''thats fine you wern't invited anyway ''

ruddynorah Sat 10-Oct-09 17:25:17

you should have set it up as a closed event.

pigletmania Sat 10-Oct-09 17:25:37

YANBU they sound like a bunch of witches and iw ould never in a zillion years invited them if i were you. Why should you they were basically bullies.

ErikaMaye Sat 10-Oct-09 17:26:49

I did set it as a private event, but for some reason facebook was messing around last night - it set it as a closed event instead and didn't send out any invites hmm Seems silly to change it to something else now!

smoking2shoes Sat 10-Oct-09 17:27:45

just had a nose. I would have been pissed of too and told them where to go, the way it is worded makes them sound like a group that are leaving you out.
block them and drop them

daisydora Sat 10-Oct-09 17:30:04

Facebook is the devil, don't do anything like this via Facebook. It only ends in misery...

...btw YANBU

Heated Sat 10-Oct-09 17:30:45


You could post back and say: No worries, it's just good close friends and family who've been invited anyway.

Tee2072 Sat 10-Oct-09 17:32:07

I would definitely say 'that's nice. I wasn't inviting you anyway.'

And then block all of them from ever viewing your facebook ever again.

But I am a bitch that way.

ErikaMaye Sat 10-Oct-09 17:35:31

Liking some of these retorts grin Thanks all, I don't feel quite so bad about it now

Sharpyharpy Sat 10-Oct-09 17:38:07

to be honest I'm surprised that you have them on facebook anyway - de friend them its a very effective/subtle way of saying B** off lol - Those sort of people drain you and you owe them no loyalty

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 10-Oct-09 17:38:17

I was going to suggest the "you weren't invited any way" response too, but Heated's response is soooo much better IMO. Can't you just delete them as friends (Facebook as well as RL)?

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 10-Oct-09 17:39:54

Except I would use 'good' instead of 'close' of course.

FABIsInTraining Sat 10-Oct-09 17:43:02

I just think facebook is not the place to be inviting people as others are going to see it. Why have these people ae friends or let them access your page?

6feetundertheGroundhogs Sat 10-Oct-09 17:48:20

Don't react, don't even flutter an eyelid.
They are really not worth it.

YANBU at all, Unreasonable no, too forgiving perhaps.

They'd have already been deleted/blocked and banished from my life if they were known to me....

lou33 Sat 10-Oct-09 17:52:30

either ignore them or reply saying you dont recall inviting them anyway

Rhubarb Sat 10-Oct-09 17:54:55

Why are they on your facebook list of friends if they are that nasty to you?

No-one needs friends like that. Block them and having nothing more to do with them. Neither should your other friend be trying to persuade you to have a baby shower if you don't want one. It sounds like you have a problem saying no and sticking up for yourself.

Sod them all off and find some friends who like you just the way you are. smile

Jux Sat 10-Oct-09 18:01:12

Don't use facebook for private invites. They'd never have known otherwise.

katiestar Sat 10-Oct-09 18:03:58

I don't know why you think of them as friends ?They are nasty to you .You don't like them enough to invite them to your meal and now you're thinking of a cutting reply to send back.Just wondering what your definition of friend is ?

Cut your losses and move on-you've outgrown them.

WurzelBoot Sat 10-Oct-09 18:10:26

I would suggest that you just un-friend them all though, Erika. They're not bringing anything to your life; when they do things it's just going to hurt you so take you out of that situation by just knocking them out of your FB.

Pikelit Sat 10-Oct-09 18:19:17

How old are you all? Only it sounds like the sort of spat that 14 year olds tend to get stuck into.

Asana Sat 10-Oct-09 19:20:59

This reminds me of having someone from my secondary school post on my wall after I got married asking why she hadn't been invited. I mean, my wall FGS - what was she thinking?!

I promptly posted back on her wall that it was an event for family and close friends that I had stayed in touch with over the years, not for someone I had had no reason to see or speak to for 5 years after I left the school. I obviously followed this up with "xxx" and a "" just to show how non passive aggressive I was being.

She deleted my post from her wall and has never contacted me since. Result! grin

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