Watching DVD on playdate

[verywiseowl]

DS is 5. He has just been for a playdate at his friend's house. Due to friend's mum's working pattern (friend was often at childminder or afterschool club) this is the first playdate DS had had there (we've had friend over a few times).

After DS came home it emerged that he'd watched some of the last Indiana Jones film which is certificate 12. Now DS is addicted to the Indiana Jones game on the Wii, and when DH recently got this film out he'd begged to watch it. DH told him he was too young to watch a 12 film and having (DH) watched the film himself said he thought parts were too scary for DS and he certainly couldn't watch it.

Now I appreciate that friend's mum was unaware we'd told DS he couldn't watch this particular film (and I'm also fairly sure that DS didn't even realise this WAS the same film as we'd talked about it at home quite a while ago so he wasn't being disobedient deliberately) however I think if the situation was reversed I would not let a 5 year old watch a certificate 12 film (even if I deemed it suitable for my own child).

So AIBU to be a little upset that he was allowed to watch it? And if I'm not, how do I tackle this with the other mum without causing huge offence? (I don't know her desparetely well - really just the odd playground conversation).

[Lizzylou]

My DS1 is 5 and I wouldn't let him watch a 12 cert, so yanbu.
Um, I don't know what I'd do about it though!

[GirlsAreLOud]

YABU for using the word playdate.

The rest of it, I don't know - depends how much of it they watcheh, has DS said? Might it have just been the opening and then she switched it off? Or loads of it? Or what?

[blametheparents]

I would not be happy if my 5 yo watched a 12 cert movie at a friend's house.
DS is 8 and watched a bit of Indiana Jones a few weeks ago, and he was a bit scared.

I tend not to have the tv on for a playdate really, but if i do I am very careful what i put on. For a Reception / Year 1 child I would not even put Scooby Doo on as I know some children of that age are scared of it.

[MinkyBorage]

I wouldn't bother approaching it with her, there's no point, but if they have another playdate I'd just be inclined to suggest that she check with you if it's ok to watch a particular film.
yanbu btw

[KembleTwins]

YAB a bit U. If you want to be in control of everything he does, don't let him go to play at his freind's houses. Also, if you don't really know the other parent, why did you let him go there? Perhaps you should confine playdates to houses where you know the parents are on the same wavelength as you.

Personally, I wouldn't let my 5 year old (if I had one) watch a 12 DVD, but unless he has nightmares, it's not worth raising it with the other mum - you'd come across as a bit precious, IMO.

[Morloth]

DS(5) has seen the Indy movies, however it is not something I would show on a playdate. If we are doing movies then it is Disney all the way, at the very least a G/U certification.

With something like the Indy movies it can be hard to remember that they have ratings, I remember watching them as a kid, loving it and really looking forward to watching it with DS, so they may just not have thought about it too much.

[curiositykilled]

Lol girlsareloud I really hate the term 'playdate' too! Does it just mean playing at a friends house? Or is there something special about it? Id it specifically done with children whose families you don't know that well or something like in a childcre type way?

When I have the DC's friends round I ask their mums what they are allowed to watch, what things they enjoy, if there's something specific they would like them to watch (i.e. that calms them down) and if they want them to be watching something in the first place.

I would say you are probably NBU to feel upset but I think you could reasonably expect this kind of thing to happen if you don't know the family that well. If it hasn't harmed your DS then there's no real need to get upset. I would have a word though and say you were a bit upset as you don't really want your ds watching a 12.

If he's playing the game on the wii what's the difference between that and watching anyway?

[mazzystartled]

I wouldn't let DS watch it yet (he's nearly 5) but I would let this go. It's not going to make it unwatched.

[fedupofthisnausea]

Yeah i totally agree with Morloth - i don't think it would have been done intentionally, more a case of not realising the cert. I remember watching things like Batman at about 6, Edward Scissorhands at about 8 (i think), and beatlejuice and the likes which are a lot scarier IMO. It wasn't such a big deal when we were kids but personally on a sleepover the girls tend to watch a Disney movie in the late evening after dinner - with me and OH too.

My OH's younger brothers 5 and 9 have seen the Indianna Jones movie, and also the Pirates of The Carribean Movies, and even worse Dr Who but that is more because the older one wants to and the little one tends to get away with more as his brother gets to do things so they see it as to save the trouble he can too. Mind, they have stopped them both from seeing the new Transformers movies.

I think it depends on the content really - the ratings don't always mean that much or i know alot of children are 'trained' to cover their eyes at an innapropriate moment like a kiss or the likes.

If you are not happy though i would wait until the next playdate and then just politely ask that he doesn't watch any 12+ cert movies? Can't be much harm done by doing that. If the parent fails that then i'd be a bit angry but not really until then.