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AIBU?

to be a bit miffed at my "non-welcome" from dh?

10 replies

onthepier · 13/09/2009 19:52

This weekend it was my MIL's birthday and myself, dh and two children spent a couple of days up there. This had been arranged for a while, and as my dh was away on business from Wednesday morning to Friday last week anyway, it made more sense for him to make his way to his mum's on Friday from the business venue, while myself and the two dc's travelled up by train, arriving on Saturday.

The journey was absolutely fine btw, I'm used to travelling by train, but it did involve two fairly long train journeys plus crossing London, and then a taxi from the station to my in-law's house, getting there took most of the day.

As we were nearing the end of the second train journey I texted dh and told him roughly what time we'd be at his mum's. He texted back "Ok then, hope journey was fine". Bearing in mind he was only in town, I just assumed he'd arrive back at his mum's at about the same time as us, the children were disappointed when there was no sign of him. My MIL said she'd hoped he'd be there to meet us after not having seen us for most of the week, and texted him to say we were there. She got an "Ok" text back and he finally wandered in a couple of hours later, said "Hi" to the kids and me, then switched on teletext to catch up with the football scores!

I told him afterwards I wasn't happy and the kids assumed their dad would be waiting to meet them after a long journey! He said he hadn't given it a thought, he knew we were on our way and as there hadn't been any problems with the journey/children, he didn't see the need to rush back from town!

AIBU to expect a bit more from him?

OP posts:

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moondog · 13/09/2009 19:54

He'd been gone two days right?

I think you are overreacting a leetle.

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MovingOutOfBlighty · 13/09/2009 19:54

A bit offish, but depends on how much you want to make of it. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much.

Perhaps that is because I am pretty well used to DH being away alot so a couple more hours wouldn't bother me.

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QuintessentialShadows · 13/09/2009 19:54

Sorry, I dont see a problem with his behaviour. He was away for only 3-4 days. Why should you not be fine at your MILs house without him?

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bigchris · 13/09/2009 19:58

why didnt he pick you up from the station, lazy git!

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ReddyMealsAreNotWorthIt · 13/09/2009 19:58

Sorry - YABU. What's the problem? You arranged to go to your PILs and for your DH to meet you there.

That is what happened.

If you had specified a certain time and he didn't turn up, then you would be justified in being cross with him.

Making a mountain out of a molehill I fear.

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fizzpops · 13/09/2009 20:08

I would be miffed too. It would have felt to me like DH didn't care whether we were there or not.

I guess it depends what 'normally' happens for you in this situation.

I probably would have had to ask for a lift tbh but DH would definitely have been there (at the house) to meet me. It's just thoughtful imo - doesn't cost anything.

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Boys2mam · 13/09/2009 20:16

I can certainly see why you're miffed - I would at least expect him to arrive at HIS parents around the same time as you and I would also hope for a warmer reception from him.

Oh well, just arrange a nice little girly weekend away and see how he feels left to get on with it.

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AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 13/09/2009 20:22

ech, i think he was rude and inconsiderate. so what if he'd only been away for a couple of days, i'd expect a peck on the cheek and a cup of coffee if i've not seen dh for a couple of hours (and vice versa).

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allaboutme · 13/09/2009 20:30

If I'd been travelling all day with young children on my own to get to HIS Mums then yes I'd at least expect him to be there to give me a kiss and greet me nicely rather than him pottering round the shops on his own not giving me a second thought!
Seems thoughtless and rude to me!

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onthepier · 14/09/2009 19:13

Thanks for your replies, some of you agree with me and some don't! It wasn't the fact that I felt uneasy about being with his mum without him there at all, after all I've known her long enough.

I suppose I thought/hoped he'd be pleased to see us and would want to be there when we arrived. He can be a bit lukewarm towards me though generally, he's got more like it over the years, unless it's a wedding anniversary/birthday/valentine's day etc where he goes all out with big romantic gestures. I suppose I'd like to see perhaps not big gestures, but a bit more interest in me day to day!