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To be anxious about dd's going away for the weekend?

(14 Posts)
WishingBelle Fri 21-Aug-09 15:25:53

Ex dh is taking dd's away to his gf's sisters for the weekend and I am slightly anxious as they have not been there before. She lives quite far away, ie a couple of hours drive. I completely trust their dad, but I feel I should be able to contact them at any time. They are 7 and 10. I have asked for gf's mobile number, her sister's number and the address they will be staying at - ex dh thinks I'm being unreasonable. Am I?

diddl Fri 21-Aug-09 16:08:35

Perhaps trust that your ex will let them contact you?
Or arrange that you will contact at a specific time?
I don´t quite see why you should be able to contact them at any time, TBH.
Does your ex demand that his daughters are alwys contactable when they are with you?

cupofteaplease Fri 21-Aug-09 16:11:36

I don't have contact when dd1 is with her dad, and she is 4. I hated it at first, but have had to get used to it. As she is getting older she sometimes tells me about where she has been, and often it transpires that ex isn't even with her, she is with his gf at friends' houses I have never heard of! It is worrying, but I feel there is little you (or I) can do about it.

MadreInglese Fri 21-Aug-09 16:16:00

They will be fine, chill out and enjoy your child-free time smile

mumeeee Fri 21-Aug-09 16:17:52

YABU. They are going with thier Dad and will have a great time. I'm sure you exdh will let them contact you if they wanted to,

danthe4th Fri 21-Aug-09 16:28:55

Can the 10 year old take a mobile so she can text you and you can then have contact if need be.If I was the gf and sister I wouldn't want you having my number its ott for a weekend away.Most 10 year olds can manage a cheap mobile, £10 in any supermarket on payg.

diddl Fri 21-Aug-09 16:32:02

Try not to be upset if they don´t contact you.
It´s only a weekend & they are with their dad.
(Do they see him very often?)
My 2 both went away for a week on school trips.
Not a word from either the whole time.
Far too busy having fun for them to think about mum fretting away!

Thedogdietician Fri 21-Aug-09 17:46:07

I would get them a mobile tbh. You should be able to contact your own children whenever you or they want and vice versa for the other parent.

diddl Fri 21-Aug-09 18:08:20

Why should you be able to contact when you want?
They are with their father.
You shouldn´t be breaking into his time with them.

GypsyMoth Fri 21-Aug-09 18:10:24

oh come on!!!

sounds like you dont trust their dad at all!

pjmama Fri 21-Aug-09 18:12:19

Presumably your ex has a mobile phone, so you could get in touch that way if you needed to in an emergency? I can understand not wanting to be cut off from your DC completely, I would feel the same way - but maybe you don't need everyone's number plus an address.

nymphadora Fri 21-Aug-09 18:25:11

My dd1 (9) has a mobile to use in situations like this and can text me. When we were away she texted her dad and occaisionally during the week she will text him. So I wouldn't see something as breaking into his time as long as its done in return.

Karam Fri 21-Aug-09 19:55:15

Another vote for the mobile phone option smile

independiente Sat 22-Aug-09 20:36:46

Fair enough to feel slightly anxious, but I do think you need to chalk that up as your issue, NOT theirs, and therefore not burden them with it (understandably difficult as that may be).
You trust their dad, he will look after them, they'll have a wonderful time (and that might be difficult for you to hear, but that's still your issue). Give them the opportunity to see how relaxed and happy for them you are, and it will repay you ten-fold in the future.

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