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AIBU?

To leave visiting child hysterical in the conservatory till he calms himself down.

45 replies

sunburntats · 26/07/2009 20:45

He fell out of the trampoline cos they didnt zip it up. (they normally do this without bieng told)

He was screaming his head off. I cuddled him, asked where he had hurt himself...no marks, nothing.
Ok me thinks, he has shocked himself....more high pitched ear splitting screamig the street down.

More cuddles/soothing/calming words.....louder screaching.
So
I said through the screaming....when you feel better, come and find me and we will talk.
I pulled the door to, and left him.

2 mins later, screaming abated, he wandered into the kitchen, told me he hurt his neck...no marks, not one...so cold compress given, DVD put on, all calm.

Felt terrible leaving him, BUT could not communicate with him at all.

He was SO dramatic, and ott.
he is 6 btw.

Its a bit of a minefield, other peoples kids isnt it?!
so, was i?

OP posts:

Report

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/07/2009 20:47

Yes, tbh. I think you have to be extra nice to other peoples kids, especially when they have potentially hurt themselves.

I expect most other people will disagree with me.

GirlsAreLoud · 26/07/2009 20:49

Agree with FBGIB, 6 is quite young and I would have been really worried that he was badly hurt.

LoveBeingAMummy · 26/07/2009 20:49

FabBaker I agree with you

VelvetPlum · 26/07/2009 20:51

I'm not the best at tolerating screeching or dramatics.
But I dont think I would have left him, he must have got a big fright and/or was in a fair bit of pain (marks or not).
I dont think you necessarily needed to be able to communicate with him, just comfort him for a little while til he calmed down, he's only 6.

monkeyfacegrace · 26/07/2009 20:53

Everyone think logically, it was 2 minutes. 2 minutes is fine. If you had left him in a pool of blood for half hour diff story, but 2 mins? Thats hardly going to cause him damage and ud already tried comforting him.
And anyway, it was proved you were right cuz he stopped!

ForExample · 26/07/2009 20:53

No, I agree with Bakergirl, also, I am even more careful with safety with other peoples kids, think you should have supervised the intial getting into the trampoline (zipping it up)

Aranea · 26/07/2009 20:54

OMG I am really shocked that you let a visiting child go on the trampoline without supervising and then left him alone while he screamed in pain.

Sorry to be harsh but I am appalled.

What did his mother say?

FranSanDisco · 26/07/2009 20:54

Well if he's OK now and no injuries present I would say yanbu. I worked in a pre-school for 3 yrs and some children need space when upset whilst others need cuddles. My ds who is also 6 yo goes off like an air raid siren when he hurts himself - a mix of shock and pain with a little drama added. Many a teacher has commented on it .

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 26/07/2009 20:54

So let me get this right - a child visits your house, falls out of your trampoline (was he being supervised?) and obviously hurts himself - is hysterical even and you leave him crying in the conservatory?

I hope i don't know you because i wouldn't want my children coming to your house

You should have rung his parents! I would be absolutely livid - he could have concussed himself FFS. Probably not, but even so.....

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/07/2009 20:54

Golly.

Maybe I am not so rubbish after all.

VelvetPlum · 26/07/2009 20:55

lol@ everyone think logically! (sorry)

sunburntats · 26/07/2009 20:55

I did comfort him but felt that i was making it much worse. I sat with him till i couldnt stand it any longer.

he is like my own, tbh, known him since he was 3 months old there abouts so have quite a close relationship with him.

OP posts:

curlyredhead · 26/07/2009 20:56

I think it was fine to stop interacting with him but I would probably have stayed in the same room with him and said something similar to what you said.

FranSanDisco · 26/07/2009 20:57

She'd done lots of checking, soothing etc. Maybe her questions were freaking him out. He stopped crying and came to her. Seems OK.

onepieceoflollipop · 26/07/2009 20:57

This is unlikely, but he could have had a serious head/neck injury with No Marks

As someone else said I think it was irresponsible to leave dcs (at least one only 6 years old) unsupervised on a trampoline knowing it was likely to remain unzipped.

I think you have had a lucky escape.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 26/07/2009 20:59

Please tell me you told his mum he fell.

sunburntats · 26/07/2009 21:00

I was in the kitchen, could see him through the open patio doors.
Didnt close patio doors, pulled it to.

He was screaming, then stopped quite quickly and came to me.
We had more cuddles and he said he was fine.
Told his mum, she said that when he is tired he is OTT. She also said that you cant talk to him either when he is like that. Best to let him come round...so she reckns i did the right thing.
Bless him.

OP posts:

tulip27 · 26/07/2009 21:02

OMG I think you have had a lucky escape, concussion and fractures don't always leave an immediate mark. If you had done this to my child we would no longer be friends.

sunburntats · 26/07/2009 21:04

I CAN SEE THEM THROUGH THE PATIO DOORS....FULL SUPERVISION GIVEN AT ALL TIMES.....HELLO!

No serious injury, i am medically trained so a bit of an assesment there.
I was making him worse, so stepped out of the room...inot the next room with clear patio doors.....not closed..

OP posts:

VelvetPlum · 26/07/2009 21:05

See, this is what I'll never understand about aibu, you feel you dealt with it fine, the mum felt you dealt with it fine, the outcome was absolutely ok.
So why the AIBU thread??

And I really dont mean that sarkily, but really why did you think to do aibu thread about it?

Aranea · 26/07/2009 21:05

If you had been supervising them, the trampoline would have been zipped up, no?

sunburntats · 26/07/2009 21:06

seriously, you would fall out with me over this?

Well, his mum would be very stuck for lots of childcare this summer if she took the same veiw becuase he is coming to play allot!

OP posts:

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sunburntats · 26/07/2009 21:08

Yes, normally they do, its a given that if they go on it, 2 at a time, and zipped up. It was within a second of them getting onto it...was just about to shout.."zip" when crash.
Landed on grass (that is quite long cos it wont stop raining so cant get to cut the bugger)

Wanted to put it on WWYD but couldnt find it.

OP posts:

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy · 26/07/2009 21:10

Agree with velvet plum. Are you a nurse or doctor? Paramedic? You were right to step back but you should have called his mother!

GwarchodwrPlant · 26/07/2009 21:10

sunburntats- You did the right thing, people on here are being overdramatic about the whole thing. Accidents do happen and hysterical children need to be left to calm down when all other measures have been taken to calm them down. I would have done the same as you and I'm a qualified child minder who is first aid trained. The only thing I would have done differently is made sure the trampoline was zipped up and therefore safe.

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