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AIBU?

To want to cry because I feel trapped, lost and not able to make a decision to work without being penalised by having two kids and wanting more than £250.00 a month arrrhh

18 replies

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 21:59

I feel like screaming I work 11.5 hours a week in the evenings in a garage< i earn £250.00 a months was on £500 but cut hours as I never saws partner he has a business,trying to dream of doing of a TA course but it a fading dream, My son goes to school September my daughter doesn't go to playgroup next September, Im stuck on crap monet compared to what I used to earn and I feel like crying as I dont know what to do please help.

OP posts:

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mumblecrumble · 20/07/2009 22:02

Think ahead a few years perhaps. Thats wat we do. When we think this is shite and we have feck all money we think.... a few more years and DD will have free nursery, a few more years we'll have paid of this debt etc etc.

Why is TA a fading dream? Can it not be a dream that is put on hold a little bit.

How old are your kids?

sending //[hugs]

Haribosmummy · 20/07/2009 22:05

Is there anything you can do NOW that makes your longer-term dreams more of a reality?

I have a young son and due to have another baby very shortly, so going back to work right now is simply not an option.

BUT, I'm training as a teacher (pt course) which means that I'll be able to have some sort of reasonable job when the kids are at school.

I'm not a huge fan of '5 year plans' etc., but if you could see yourself in 5 years, what would you like to be doing and is there anything you could be starting now that would help with that?

mumblecrumble · 20/07/2009 22:06

Agree with Haribosmummy.....

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 22:18

Thanks Mumblecrumble,Haribosmummy xx my dream is to be a TA , I Thought I could go to college next September as my daughter will start then, my son goes to school just after his 4th birthday this August.But I am so fed up of being on crap money and having no control of my life I suffer with PND and Im getting through it, i just feel so lonely and useless sorry buy thanks for the hug Its nice to know people you dont know care, xx. thank you.

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mumblecrumble · 20/07/2009 22:20

[what's a TA......? is it the army thing? OH!!!!! is it a teaching assistant?!?!?!]

mumblecrumble · 20/07/2009 22:21

How old is your daughter?

Yes we care!!!! We want you dream to happen!

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 22:22

18 Months, oh thank you Mumblecrumble you are sweet hug for you. xx

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mumblecrumble · 20/07/2009 22:25

Soooooo.. you have dd at home during day then go to work at night, 4 year old at school.

Phew!!! Mega hard work. You are not being unreasonable!!!!

Did you mean teaching assistant? Cos I;m thinkin about what Haribo said and wondering if you could get work experience? At your son's school for example. Depends on daugheter and child care I suppose......

Haribosmummy · 20/07/2009 22:33

I was guessing you meant teaching assistant.

THere are loads of places you can get some experience and you can train PT too.

I'm training as a secondary chemistry teacher and am doing it from home over 2 years.

Plus you can look at options to get funding for training.

If that IS what you mean, I have some knowledge of how you might go about it. And schools are very thoughtful of childcare - one even let me bring my DS with me and the others were all happy to arrange half days when / where I could organise childcare (My DS is 13 months old and I don't have any family close, so it took a bit of organisation!)

Before kids, I had a GREAT career, so I do understand the feeling of no control etc., My earning capacity has halved (at best!!!) since having my son.

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 22:35

Yes I mean Teaching Assistant sorry Mumblecrumble , no my son is at playgroup till tommorow his last day , he will start school after his 4th birthday which is August 29th and start September.
I have tried to apply for a appenticeship but its £80.00 per week full time you get help with child care but its in alton , so my other option is to leave that and go to college when she starts next september. xx

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Haribosmummy · 20/07/2009 22:41

There are still somethings you can do to further that dream...

First aid courses - I took one of these when DS was a baby as I was home a lone with him a lot. I'm thinking of repeating it with the new baby. They give you a certificate (well, some do - I can give you some details)

CHild minding - have you thought about that? that's a good step on the road to TA.

Helping out with / organising playgroups (plu over the summer, people will kis your feet for organising something as those of us with pre-schoolers find everything is closed!!!)

PLus (as I said) schools are willing tohave you participate for as many or as few hours as you can spare.

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 22:53

I became a childminder although I didn't get the support, I left becuase of Finacial reasons hence why Im in this situation of working in the garage not my dream job not being rude to anyone who does, my next step is to go back to college to do the Teaching Assistant.
I have offered to volunter at my son's school and have offers of people willing to take me on as a volunter but its not that gets me down its the money side, awful I know but I dont like realying on my Dp and feel like Oliver asking for more.I hate being dependant on anyone else and Im used to earning my own money and having control of my own life thats why i feel im being unresonable.

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AppleandMosesMummy · 20/07/2009 22:55

I would kill for an after school child minder who'd actually help with homework instead of sticking them in front of the TV and actually I've offered £300 a week to get somebody to do it, nada, not a sausage, would that be something you'd consider ?
And would get you a good reference towards being a TA

Hobnobfanatic · 20/07/2009 22:59

AppleandMoses - where are you? I can't believe you can't find someone to do that - it sounds a lovely job!

And Haribou - how are you studying at home? Is it an OU course?

Haribosmummy · 20/07/2009 23:02

Hobnob - Yes, flexi course... Studying through Brunel Uni.

applesandmoses - WOuld happily tutor science if you are about herts?

wineyesplease · 20/07/2009 23:13

AppleandMosesMummy I have so much experience working with children I have looked after 4 children, twins and a little boy with ADHD, so lots of experience.
Its something I would defiantly consider but knowone suitable came to me, I have spent time in teaching my son his ABC, writing his name, and knowing his colours shapes and all the morals that a child should know and thats knowing right from wrong, please thankyou etc.
I was looking for full time child as I had my daughter so it would of been my daughter and another child ,but was not succesful I needed to work due to the finiacial aspect, I gave it up, It was a hard decision to make but it in a way childminding has changed as it is stipulated by ofsted by paperwork.
Another reason why Childminders many experienced have left the profession.

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AppleandMosesMummy · 20/07/2009 23:23

We're ooop north, but seriously I've been advertising for months so I can go back to work for somebody to pick them up after school so from 3.30pm to 6pm and do something, even if its a board game or bit of baking and we can't find anyone.
Maybe advertising in the local paper or asking the school to mention you in the school new letter would work ?
Having said that everyone is suffering right now because of the recession so don't take it too personally.

Hobnobfanatic · 20/07/2009 23:30

I wish you were west, Apple, I'd LOVE to do that!

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