I feel really mean moaning about my ILs as they are letting us stay at their house completely free and they send me back to bed if I get up at 7am with DD and tell me to get some sleep (I'm pregnant) They have taken DD out to the shops at the moment.
My problem is that are are just so intense. My FIL in particular just doesn't seem to be able to leave DD alone. EG if somebody wakes her from her nap, she likes to sit quietly for fifteen minutes or so and drink some juice while she comes round. He picks her up and shows her things, tries to get her playing games and tickles her, which usually ends in her crying because she isn't properly awake yet. I've tried staying in her bedroom with her while she wakes up and just lying down on her bed next to her quietly, but he comes in and takes her out so I can get some sleep apparently.
Another sore point is mealtimes. Up till now, DD has been a brilliant eater, we have a philosophy of just not making a fuss, just sitting down and eating the same thing around the table with her, and letting her eat as much as she fancies, but not giving her pudding if she hasn't really made a decent attempt at the main course. FIL fusses over her all through the meal, when she picks up a vegetable or anything that he doesn't think is child's food, he tells her lots of other children don't eat those kind of things, he takes things off her fork to cut them up even smaller so they are harder for her to manage unless somebody feeds her, which he then does, along with babyfied aeroplane noises and so on. She is quickly learning that mealtimes are a great time to make a fuss and get everyone's attention, when before she was happy to listen and join in with the dinnertime conversation. He also tells her halfway through the meal what is for pudding, so she immediately forgets the main course and wants the pudding straightaway. She is eating much less healthily now, and demanding snacks all the time between meals, most of which she has one bite of then leaves. He is even sometimes making her a separate meal from the adults, which is something I have always said I will never do.
This would all be easy to deal with if we were here once or twice a week, but we live here at the moment and it is doing my head in! I try to take charge of her, but every time I as much as start running her a bath or put her clothes in the machine, they jump in and start fussing and telling me how to do it so much that I give in and just let them do it!
How can I subtly let them know that I would like some time with my own child, without making them think I am ungrateful for all their help? I am very tired with the pregnancy, so the help is very valuable, but it's getting to the point where they are apologising if they both have to be out and leave me and DD on our own, as if I don't know how to look after my own daughter! If i say I'm going to take her shopping they make a huge fuss about me going on the bus, telling me exactly which bus to get and where to get off and how many nappies to take and so on. I feel like a teenage babysitter!
We are about to move to a house three doors down from them, and I am dreading them coming round every day to pester me while DP is at work!
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lovely ILs being overbearing
12 replies
LissyGlitter · 07/07/2009 14:40
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