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to have the hump with "friends" attitudes to me being prego ?

(11 Posts)
Stannie Wed 17-Jun-09 18:27:59

Other friends are suggesting I be a bit more sympathetic to the "friends" who are causing the issue..

Pseudofriend 1 - has pretty much cut off contact since I was about 12wks.. (am 24wks now) she did it steadily (stealthily??).. not returning calls or emails for a few days.. then longer.. then not at all.. I've tried to keep the contact there (as I know she really would like babies but Hubby not keen so I try to be sensitive to this) and not talk baby (I think it upsets her a bit ?) but to no avail.. I then heard that she said to another friend that she had stopped contact as we no longer had anything in common as I am no longer competing etc on my horse and would have nothing to talk about.. angry

Pseudofriend 2&3 - launched a combined attack on me as I ate a chicken caesar salad!! I asked for more sauce and they gave me a two pronged lecture on how I am gaining weight (I have gained 10lbs so far) and how difficult it will be for me once the baby comes to loose it all.. and what will my OH be thinking about it all.. and this is why men stray "during this time" ...

I was shock .. in fact am still shock and refusing to talk to any of them until I've calmed down .. if that ever happens.. it's left me v weepy though..

AIBU and sulking ?? Other friends think that maybe I should read between lines of PF1 and not be cross and forgive PF's 2&3 as they have no kids and wouldn't know.. I think some fecking tact would be nice!!

BTW - non of these people have children..

Gaaaah!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Wed 17-Jun-09 18:33:52

YANBU - they are being right bitches. Are they real friends?

katedan Wed 17-Jun-09 18:34:24

I have sympathy with friend 1 as she is obviously jealous and scared your friendship has/will change. try to talk to her about tis gently

friends 2 & 3 are b**ch's you don't need to have had children to know that implying their husband will stray if they put on weight while prgnant is horrid. Sounds to me like they are jealous and maybe after your DH!!! tell them you were upset by their remarks and if they are going to say such C**p they can p*ss off!!!

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 17-Jun-09 18:36:07

SOUNDS TO ME THEY ARE JEALOUS - ESP IF non HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN

oops hit caps sorry

BBisfinallyPG Wed 17-Jun-09 18:36:22

aww well dont let it get to you they sound very jealous particularly PF1 and weather thats justified or not is not the issue thats no reason to be nasty and snide to you. I myself had probs concieving at the time my friend feel pg and ididnt act like this, its not how you treat true friends! as for the other two they sound like jealous fucking cows. cut them out, they will be twunts to you from here on in. as the saying goes with friends like these who needs enemies!

i myself have experienced the stagnant cut out from a friend ive known ten years and it just shows you who cares, and who doesnt.

calli1991 Wed 17-Jun-09 18:41:38

im 27 weeks pregnant im 18 and my friends have completely all ditched me i have no idea why nobody ever bothers with me anymore and my fiance has been ditched by his mates! I think maybe now im going to be a mum that they think i should only have other mums as friends and im no fun for them anymore.i tried to keep in contact and ofcourse not talk baby with them but i just cant be asked anymore i dont think its unreasonable at all

TheCrackFox Wed 17-Jun-09 18:47:37

The sound like shit "friends" and I would be consigning them to the dustbin.

NormaSknockers Wed 17-Jun-09 18:55:32

YANBU!

I would be fuming/upset too, they don't sound that much like friends to me!

ActivityApple Wed 17-Jun-09 19:14:14

Message withdrawn

berri Wed 17-Jun-09 22:36:41

YANBU - I had a load of 'friends' who went on about what I ate when I was preggers, constantly telling me either how many calories was in something, or that it'd harm the baby (the best one of these was a cheese sandwich, because 'you're not allowed cheese are you?')!

Don't worry and stick with the friends who are actually friendly, they'll be around for longer anyway!

Stannie Wed 17-Jun-09 23:13:10

Thanks for the replies... I was worrying that I was being mad and hormonal and taking it all the wrong way .. clearly am not!

PF1 - I am quite upset about the decline of our friendship.. no idea what to say to tackle to issue - feel my usual bull-in-a-china-shop tactics might not be appreciated..

As for PF's 2&3 .. had a text from PF2 this evening while I was crying over cups of tea at a "proper" friends house blush .. saying sorry if I felt they were a bit harsh but they are simply "looking out for me" and have "my best interests at heart"...

Actual friend wrestled phone away from me to prevent a meltdown so I haven't replied yet..

I thought I left all this schoolyard crap in the schoolyard! I'm 33 FFS! I don't need this!

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