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to want to sleep in bed just us?

(11 Posts)
Jenni84 Mon 09-Feb-09 15:38:35

me and my bf have his daughter over at the weekends sometimes one night sometimes both but at least one night a weekend and i dread if its the 2 nights i have a 7 yr old boy and he has bunk beds in his room for the fact of i have a kid he has a kid they both need to share at weekends until we get a new house which will be soon, dsd sleeps with her mum at home she's 4 personally i dont think this is right but... my opinion eh, she sleeps with her mum either on the couch getting a cuddle til dsd's mum goes to bed too cradled in bed till shes asleep or very very seldom she will fall asleep watching a dvd when we get her at the weekend its irritating we try for the dvd tactic in OUR bed which is begining to annoy me because it seems to keep her up later past 9pm usually and then results in my bf having to go up into our bed and lay with her till she falls asleep which can take up to 45 mins maybe im being selfish but its our weekend too! she point blank refuses to even try to sleep in the bunk bed a few times shes even slept on the couch on his tummy, when i go up into bed i put her in the bunk bed but around 2 3am shes back in beside us either screaming at the top of her voice daddy wakening me bf and ds up or silently wandering in. im aware that its not her fault i know that its because that what happens in her house but im 6 months pregnant im going into the bunkbed at 3am some nights because i need room to breathe i just keep thinking when does it end what happens when the baby comes will i be sleeping in the nursery with the baby? i spent years of telling my son no u cant sleep in my bed you need to sleep in your bed and whenever i suggest something or say you really need to talk to dsd's mum i get a mouthful of "ive tried and i only get her once a week" i need some advice its getting to the stage that im not bringing it up anymore to save the arguments and im getting moaned at if i go into the bunkbed at night so then i lay awake squished i need sleep and i end up using during the week to get over late weekends of no sleep rather than the other way about its like i can talk to him about almost anything else but this if she was my daughter it'd be so much easier!

littlelyn Mon 09-Feb-09 15:50:02

YANBU, and, to be honest, if I was your dsd's mum I wouldn't be very happy with the thought of you sleeping in bed with my dd - are you on speaking terms with dsd's mum?

anniemac Mon 09-Feb-09 15:53:04

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Jenni84 Mon 09-Feb-09 15:54:15

yeah we get on ok she seems nice enough, and she is aware that she sleeps in our bed i get squished against the wall beside dad and hes gets squished by dsd lol shes a wriggler!

anniemac Mon 09-Feb-09 16:00:41

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Jenni84 Mon 09-Feb-09 16:09:20

i wish i could live with it, ive always been a loner in bed by that i mean i like my space DS wasnt allowed in with me unless he was ill then hed be in beside me thats prob why this was never an issue for me, ive tried to talk to him but but he just says she likes the easy life dsd moans mum gives her what she wants i have to say its seems like my bf's like that as well! i aint no supermum and im still getting used to living here but if he complains to me about it which he does and i say something back its like im in the wrong and he cant do anything about it, its confusing! their will be a room for all of us we've been looking for a 4 bed-roomed girl boy baby us.. i can live with it if her mum doesnt want to change her sleeping arrangements which have gotten worse since she split up with her bf but if my bf is going to moan about it or moan that im sleeping in a diffrent room at weekends then he will have to do something about it i cant!

anniemac Mon 09-Feb-09 16:16:16

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littlelyn Mon 09-Feb-09 16:16:17

If speaking to the mum about starting a proper bedtime routine at home, which you'd be happy to adopt when dsd is with you, doesn't work you will probably have to wait for your bf to see the impracticalities of continuing with this arrangement when the little one arrives.

AccioPinotGrigio Mon 09-Feb-09 16:36:04

Invest in a super king size bed. We co-slept with ds since birth until at the age of 6 he voluntarily moved to his own bed and bedroom.

The super king bed was a god send as he did tend to sleep horizontally across the middle of the bed. Co-sleeping is wonderful for the child and I agree with the poster who said that you musn't blame the little girl - this is all she knows and one day she will make the transition to her own bed.

If a bigger bed isn't a possibility then your bf needs to respect the fact that you will use the spare bed when his daughter visits.

jemart Tue 10-Feb-09 17:09:09

My girls got inflatible "ready beds" for xmas for purposes of sleepovers with relatives. They have night garden and disney princess on them, kids really love them and always desperate to be allowed to sleep in them. Perhaps something similar could work for your dsd? would be cheaper than getting a super kingsize bed for you.

Tamarto Tue 10-Feb-09 17:21:37

and then results in my bf having to go up into our bed and lay with her till she falls asleep which can take up to 45 mins maybe im being selfish but its our weekend too!

You are moaning that he is spending 45 minutes alone with his DD? hmm

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