to be annoyed at my cleaner for trying to reorganise my house?

[Essie3]

I know the answer is yes probably I am being a bit unnecessarily tetchy, but I need to find a way to deal with this really.

I have a cleaner - a girl from the village who has 2 small children, can't work (can't drive, no work around here as it's rural) and so does some cleaning for me for a bit of pocket money. (Yes, people, it is the Black Market, and I can explain further but don't call the Social on me.)
She's a brilliant cleaner.

However, there are two minor issues:

1. she uses bleach. Loads of it, place stinks of it, and I want her to stop - I've asked, but she snorted and ignored me. I tried to claim DH (and now DS) have delicate skin (they don't) but nothing doing. Any suggestions?

The other issue is the reorganising. We have baby clutter, and I tidy up before she comes (if I have advance warning which I don't always get), but she still insists on moving things around.

• toys were moved into another room, when I'd stacked them all tidily on the play mat
• I was requested to take down DH's stained glass angel decorations, and also his chandelier. (No, he's not gay! )
• I have packing boxes for my office, and she asked me to chuck them - no, they're there for a reason.
• baby clothes which I had taken out as DS is too small and put in a separate pile in my room for taking to charity were taken back and put in his drawer (not folded, btw) so I had to re-sort
• his door bouncer was taken off the door where it lives permanently and put in his bedroom.
• furniture was reorganised upstairs!

It sounds minor (it is!) but I was a bit peeved as it's my house, she doesn't live there, and whilst I don't mind her moving stuff in order to clean, general reorganising of my house, and of things which are there for a reason, and attempts to bin stuff gets to me as she doesn't live here. And I don't need the whole 'can you put this in the bin?'(no, it's there for a reason) etc etc.

Sorry! Feel better now!

[Almeida]

Don't have any bleach & organize what products for each room.

Just ask her not to move anything & if she starts to move things to stop herself. She sounds like a good cleaner as she wants to help you.

[mrshammond]

YANBU atall! She is overstepping the mark.

I think there is only one way to deal with it and that is to ask her to stop!!

Maybe you could have a list of jobs she needs to do and nothing more. If you don't want her to use bleach, she shold stick to that - it's your house. No point in having he there if you then have to spend time moving stuff back to where it was.

Good luck!

[traceybath]

You need to be firm about what you want her to do and not do.

Just tell her no bleach - its non-negotiable. Also ask her to clean not tidy.

I do think its much easier to just be quite clear about what you want in a friendly way or you just get too pissed off with each other.

I'm super fussy but my cleaners know exactly what i want doing (yes do please polish my toothbrush mug) and do it.

Of course i'm super lovely too and give them drinks and homemade cakes most weeks.

[MrsSeanBeanHasGivenUpIroning]

This is difficult as you say she is a brilliant cleaner, so are pleased with her work and wouldn't want to lose her.

However, it is your home, your money and your prerogative. I think you need to be firmer about the bleach. Does she bring her own supplies? If not, remove it and produce an alternative.

Reorganising: YAB a bit U about putting the baby clothes back into a drawer, she wasn't to know and was probably just trying to be helpful

The other things, she was a bit out of line, but again, if you have explained/ been more specific about what can and xannot be moved (it's trying to have to spell things out I know) it will probably be OK in the future.

Binning stuff also is a bit odd. Surely she should just empty what is already in the bins?

[OhBling]

Wow. And I get annoyed because my cleaner moves all my hair products into the bedroom instead of leaving them in the study!

Which is my way of saying, "you're not being unreasonable for finding these things annoying".

Agree with Almeida on bleach.

Just checking - is she a native english speaker? If she's not, things like the binning might be questions to ask you if SHE should put things in the bin? But broadly, I'd reiterate to her that you like things where they are and you want her to tidy and straighten but things in boxes must stay there etc. And repeat.

[Essie3]

She is a good cleaner, and I think she just likes to be in charge! I have to be careful as it's a small village and she knows everyone...and gossips! (I do keep certain stuff under lock and key eg my MW notes when I was in the early stages of pg).

But good point about the bleach. I'll just let it run out, and not buy any more!
She claims not to use it in the bath/sinks, only in the toilet, but I'd rather have Ecover toilet stuff. Her little son has horrendous eczema, so I thought she'd be a bit more careful with stuff like that.

[mysterymoniker]

she snorted the bleach?

ouch

[Essie3]

Oh, lots of x-posts - thanks all, I thought I was being totally anal and weird, but it is a bit much, then?

Some replies...
OhBling not a native English speaker but neither am I, we communicate in our native Welsh! But no, language isn't an issue.
The binning - I recycle, and save boxes and stuff, and also produce lots of bits of paper with writing on (weird old me! ) but she won't recycle at all. So I'm haring around usually trying to get the recycling out before it goes in the wheelie bin.

I think she's trying to create a clutter free space for cleaning, but actually she's moving stuff I don't want moved, and I don't have a clutter free life really (alas) due to a lack of storage and a really annoying husband. And birthday cards being taken down etc...well, sure, it tidies the clutter but also removes all personal touches!

I think it's time for me to pluck up my courage and ask her to quit moving things around. Course, if I'm not in when she's cleaning, that will help matters - I think she only asks to move stuff around/request me to bin stuff because I'm there, and she can't do that kind of thing without my permission.

Thanks all, I just needed to air that for my own good!

[MrsSeanBeanHasGivenUpIroning]

Essie, it is more difficult to clean around clutter, but that's why you are paying her to do it

[Essie3]

LOL, mysterymoniker maybe that's where all the bleach goes!

[Almeida]

If she cleans for others she might be following what she does there.

[Essie3]

No, I'm her only cleaning job.

[Almeida]

Hope she listens to you. She sounds well meaning

[oldraver]

I'm quite shocked that you feel you have to lock things away. I clean for a neighbour and she frequently leaves her work on the dining table (she's in adult literacy/basic learning) so I just fold table cloth over and clean best I can. I wouldn't dream of looking at any private stuff

[theresonlyme]

What on earth gives her the feeling she can tell you how things should be in your own home?

[Pwsimerimew]

Ha! Newydd edrych ar proffil chdi, ond nes i feddwl tybad os mai chdi oedd yna!! Dwi'n fan o Mumsnet hefyd, cwestiyna fi'n popio fyny bob yn hyn a hyn. Fedri di geshio pwy ydw i ta?

[DDraigoch33]

Ti'n lwcus mae gen ti digon o pres i afforddio rhywun i llnau i ti! Pnawn da o'r Gogledd

[justneedsomesleep]

Don't have any bleach in the house for her to use. Put a big sign up where you keep the cleaning materials - UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES USE BLEACH! - strasight to the point.
TELL hee not to use bleach.

Also TELL her not to move things or you will need to get another cleaner as she is simply creating more work for you (having to move the thibgs back)

[justneedsomesleep]

i cannot type!

[Essie3]

Pwsimerimew...hm, rwan dwi'n meddwl yn galed!! Sgin ti ddim proffil - tyd, deud pwy wyt ti! Sut wnest ti amau mai fi ydw i??

DDrawigoch33 ydw i'n dy nabod di hefyd??

Dirgelwch mawr ar bnawn Iau!

[DDraigoch33]

Sorry got carried away with the Welsh....I shall translate!

It was just 'you're very lucky to be able to afford for someone to come in and clean for you.'

(I wish i could afford someone to come and muck out our pigsty once in a while)

I'll have to phone Kim and Aggy at this rate!!!!Aaaaargh!!!!

Greetings from North Wales!

[DDraigoch33]

Nadw dwi ddim yn abod ti,well,ella dwi yn,mae'n dibynu lle wyt ti.

[Essie3]

Yes, sorry all - a random reply by someone who guessed who I was!

My cleaner is cut-price, because as I mentioned she's on benefits and can't work, but needs the money, and I need a cleaner...that's part of the problem, because it's not possible to have a word with an agency or anything like that.
But I'm glad folks are agreeing with me that I'm not being totally mad about the whole boundary issues!

OK, to answer other questions in another language... Pwsimerimew ges i ginio efo chdi echdoe?

DDraigoch33 I'm Anglesey - could lend you my cleaner but be aware that she might try to get you to take down decorations etc...!

[Pwsimerimew]

Tysan a chaws a bins???
Pwy arall dwi'n nabod sy'n cael dynes llnau??
Sorry all, was interested in post and the more I read the more I was convinced I knew Essie3. Small world and all that!

[Essie3]

Extremely small world seeing as I had lunch with Pwsimerimew on Wednesday!

Feeling extremely posh now, though, as Pwsimerimew claims I'm the only woman she knows who has a cleaner. (Albeit a problematic one!)
Or should that be lazy/untidy/dirty rather than posh?