to dread this weekend.

[Lowfat]

It's DD's birthday and she is having a small organised 'shop-bought' party tomorrow with 5 classmates tomorrow.

Then on Sunday a big shin-dig at ours with close friends and family .

And I am dreading the whole weekend because I will have family staying at our house. With DN's who have no routine and go to sleep about 11.30 where they drop, where as my too are so into routine an hour passed bedtime and they are taking themselves to bed.

Also DD has swimming first thing on Sunday, meaning she has to be up at 7.30 to get breafast before 8 - so she is not eating for an hour before swimming. So I dont want a late disturbed night for her

DH's family all sleep late, meaning restricted access to parts of my house where party and birthday stuff has had to be stored and hidden. And they take 4 hours to get themselves organised for a trip to the shops - and I am not over exaggerating.

SIL wants to have lunch out and do a bit of shopping on Sunday and I have told her be my guest as it gets them out from under my feet. They have asked DD to go, but she wants to stay with me and help get ready by decorating and filling her pinata . She has chosen her fav music and asked we play loud as we work as it will help us get in the arty mood - bless. But by the time my DN's wake its about 11am. The party is at 2, there is no point.

I have furniture to shift and baking to do and I want to enjoy DD's day with her and everyone else. But this rabble are just going to make the whole weekend stressful and ruin everything!

To make it worse BIL phoned DH and said 'we all have colds should we still come' to which DH said 'up to you'. Where as I would have grabbed the oppertunity and said I would rather not take the risk now DD is back at school.

I am so wound up just thinkning of it

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

Oh dear.

You will have to suck it up this year as arrangements are in place, but next year say No to house guests.

Does DD have to go swimming on Sunday?

I know it's already paid for, yadda yadda, but it might make it easier if you could take one stress factor out of your mix?

Having guests is stressful whatever you do.

Good luck.

[bellavita]

I would just get on with what you need to do, do not restrict yourself in your own house - a big no no. Tell them what your early morning plans are on the Sunday and do it.

Oh and treat yourself to a big glass of wine tomorrow night!

[ethanchristopher]

can she not just miss swimming this once?

its a special occasion, you have to put up with famiies

yabu

but good luck with this weekend

[2point4kids]

Miss swimming on Sunday and say to the visiting rellies that you will need to get stuff out their rooms on the Sunday and may make some noise so sorry if they get disturbed, then you and DD go ahead and play music and prepare as you want on Sunday! If the others wake up, so be it.

[macdoodle]

OMG just chill it really wont kill your kids to budge from their very "strict sounding routines" - perhaps if you relax a bit and not obsess over every detail you might enjoy it more

[Lowfat]

Macdoodle - routines is not strict, but my two love their bedtimes and if they dont go to bed on time they dont last uch beyond it and justask to go or DD takes herself up.

As for swiming she loves it, and wants to go on her birthday as they get special play on the raft for birthdays.

Just gonna stick with my plans and pretend they are'nt here!

[mazzystar]

You didn't want them to come in the first place, did you? I remember your other thread. Do you really dislike your s-i-l or something?

Its a busy weekend. But it will be fine. Chill out, lower your expectations of yourself a bit, and go with the flow.

I personally would knock swimming on the head this weekend. I'd bake tonight and tomorrow morning, and in fact move furniture about before they get here. You'll have 3 clear hours to do the finishing touches.

[Lowfat]

Hi Mazzy,

My SIL and I have such different parenting views and she voices hers making out mine are bad - for instance she has said that teaching a child the value of money is preacing to a child and therefore if her DC's want to 'piss their trust fund up a wall' in future she wont stop them. And that me encouraging mine to save towards the things they want in life is restricting them and dictatorial.

Also I have some issues with the way she treats my BIL (DH's brother as do others) although it's not our place to say so we bite our tongues and try to support him.

She has no control over her DC's and finds it hard to cope alone with them, they are constantly fighting and throwing tnatrums, which she deals with by getting them in physical locks until they stop. And routine is not even in her vocab!

[Lowfat]

like pinning them down - not cage locks

[mazzystar]

Well routine isn't in mine either, though the other stuff sounds grim. I can see that if you too don't rub along together brilliantly its hardly going to fill you with enthusiasm for a visit.

This only has to be stressful if you let it be.

It sounds like they won't be with you that long, and they will be asleep or out for a lot of it. Just get on with what you need to do. If she gets on her high horse just let it wash over you and do what you need to. And remember that people are coming to the party to see you and your daughter not to see how wonderfully you have catered and hosted it.