to be hopping mad at my GP after some cheeky remarks during a home visit?

[shootfromthehip]

Right- just to warn you I'm not impressed as I have been ill for days and have had to watch my house collapse around my ears as DH 'looks after the kids' ha.

Okay, have been in bed with nasty throat infection since Sat and after yet another miserable night and a bout of vomiting this morning, I got DH to arrange for GP to do a home visit so that I can get antibiotics. Having not eaten since Sunday I genuinely did not feel that I could make the mile walk in the rain with or without DC. When she got here, I was chastised for breaking with their policy as they don't do house calls- ??? she said from the end of my bed??? and then went on to tell me it was a severe infection but I was really lucky not to have the mutated boil/pustule variety which she would have to lance (I however, don't feel very lucky and suspect that she would have loved to lance my pustules- what a gross word- will stop using it immediately).

I was then given a lecture on the woes of foreign travel (I just came back from 2 very pleasant weeks in Spain and believe that I may have picked up this nasty condition on the flight) and how in some way my devil-may-care- approach to jetting round the world (to repeat, I went to SPAIN FFS) brought this on myself.

Now this GP and I have a bit of a history. I have been in her company at several functions and she has always been perfectly pleasant to the extent that she and her DH made a beeline for DH and I at the most recent. She is about 15 yr older than me and she decided to go back to work when her little ones were small. She has told me on several occasions that I should go back to work as I must be bored being a SAHM.

This came to a head when I went to see her recently for a chest infection (have not been a well woman this year) and she ran some tests. Fortunately they all came back clear, and she then told me that there was nothing wrong with me that going back to work wouldn't sort out- as obviously I am some sort of attention seeking loser who goes to the Doctors with all these imaginary illnesses. [hmmm]

When I told her she was out of order she then started saying that I just need a break from my kids (don't we all?) as I am obviously not coping with them (I am pretty much a single parent during the week) or I wouldn't have all these ailments. I admit that i have been done in this year but I'm fed up with this woman thinking she can cross professional boundaries about my choices. AIBU?

[lottiejenkins]

Can you not change to another doctor within the practice? Or is she on her own?
Thats what i would do anyway!!!

[hughjarssss]

You have a very complicated relationship with your GP dont you?

[Lomond]

Change to another doctor! I wouldn't put up with that. At my practice you can see any GP, it doesn't have to be the one they register you with.

YANBU at all!

[Lizzylou]

She sounds very unprofessional, definitely change GP's

[shootfromthehip]

Hugh, I certainly do. I am fed up with it being this complicated- I want to make an appointment, get some tablets and leave. I do not need her being the Simon Cowell of GP's, telling me where my future lies. The other GP in the practice I sometimes see- it seems to be random but it takes so long to get an appointment I can't be too specific.

[Pegdoll]

She is clearly jealous of you for a) being a SAHM, b) having a DH who helps out whilst you are ill and c) two lovely weeks in sunny Spain whilst she has sat in her surgery seeing bunions and the like.



Oh, and d) you are 15 years younger than her!

Get her swapped for a doctor who is less judgemental. She is paid to help you, not judge you.

[ahfeckit]

she's been in the profession too long, she needs to retire...

seems v opininated, bit like my GP. he said buying cheap HPTs won't give an accurate result, they are useless and that only the top brands such as CB or FR are reliable when testing.

[stitch]

yabu
when ill, it is not a good idea to make decisions, judgements etc etc.
it is also a bad idea to see your doctor socially.
part of dealing with a patient is asessing there mental health as well as there physical. some are better at wording it than others. if youare not happy at theway she is giving her opinon, then dont be her patient. its that simple.

[shootfromthehip]

Fundamentally she is a nice woman but the last time is saw her I left and burst in to tears I was so angry.

[nooka]

Wow I am amazed you got a home visit for a throat infection! There is absolutely no way you would have got that from any of the practices I know. So although you feel irritated about her manner, you were very lucky not to have to have made the trip to the surgery. It is not unreasonable to suggest that there may be some wider issues around being regularly unwell, as stress can raise your chances of succumbing infections for example.

It is also possible to suffer from psychosomatic symptoms. For example I get a throat problem when I am stressed, which I have also had tests for. It doesn't mean I have an imaginary illness or am attention seeking, but it does not have a physical cause. I am going to try acupuncture next time it comes back.

It does sounds as if she went a bit beyond the normal doctor/ patient chat, but then it doesn't sound as if you only have a professional relationship with her. So the tone of her comments may be an issue, but the content may not, as GPs are supposed to provide holistic care.

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

YANBU for being annoyed with her comments but I do wonder what you said to get a home visit.

[shootfromthehip]

I have had a really bad year last year (my Dad died and it had a huge impact) but I am not suffering from psychosomatic health issues. I did my back in, had three chest infections (as did my kids) and now this throat thing. I am annoyed for exactly this reason- there is no doubt that my immune system is lowered by stress and for this reason I seem to be succumbing to everything out there, however, if my children are ill too or I've hurt my back- I can;t see how having real medical symptoms with an organic, medical route are psychosomatic.

[shootfromthehip]

I got DH to phone and say that my leg had fallen off for the home visit

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

Sorry, but LOL.

I really hope things look up for you soon.

[nooka]

Sorry, I was basing that on your comments about your chest infection. However there's nothing wrong with having an illness where the doctor can't figure out the cause. Having something caused by stress is no less real than having a car accident. It's not a bad reflection on the person suffering, just not something that our very medicalised health system is good at recognising, or treating.

[shootfromthehip]

Nooka, I totally agree but I have a history of depression (10 years ago since the last bout) and I am very wary about being labled. It has been hard enough to be taken seriously since the last lot and I feel that this woman is not only patronising me but is taking away from the efforts that I have made to function successfully since my Dad died. I am not falling apart- i'm just not well.

[nooka]

Ah, I see where you are coming from, and that's perfectly reasonable. Can you change practices (although I would not move away from the possibility of home calls)? Why don't you ring up the local PCT's PALS service explain that you are unhappy with your current GP and ask who else is taking patients. They should be both sympathetic and helpful.

[PinkyDinkyDooToo]

I'm not sure how you working would help stop you getting ill. Surely you would get more run down if you had to rush around putting your DC in childcare and going to work etc.

Mad GP

[dilemma456]

Message withdrawn

[nigglewiggle]

She sounds like a loon!

Saw my GP two days after having DD2 and told her I thought I had a DVT. Told, in no uncertain terms that I didn't have a DVT and was then promptly given a lecture about over-population, lack of natural resources, land etc...

Needless to say, I found out a week later that I did have a DVT ... the GP is now retiring!

[ivykaty44]

Don't have friends or aquantances as gp's ever

[evangelina]

Change GP, not a good idea to have a personal relationship with your doctor.

[shootfromthehip]

I live in a very small community and can't avoid seeing either of our 2 GP's socially. I may be flattering myself but I think the issue here is how can bright, educated women want to stay at home with their kids full time (her thinking not mine obviously)? Her comments re Spain etc were just petty and I don't know why I should have to put up with it.

[nooka]

Well if you can't change GP, and you are unhappy with her behaviour then really the only thing you can do is complain. But the complaint will have to go to the practice to resolve, so it won't be very confidential.