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To think that this GP was being completely unreasonable?

(27 Posts)
NinaInCognito Tue 02-Sep-08 22:11:31

Sorry, just a bit of background here: on Sunday my son had an accident, he climbed up on his pram when I wasn't looking and it tipped over, he broke the fall with his mouth on the bottom stair. Poor thing, he was so upset, there was blood everywhere and his lips were cut to shreds. We went to A & E and the doctor said that he had an impacted tooth but that the graze on his chin and the cut lips were superficial and would heal.

On Monday we spent the day at the doctors and the dentists and they said the same thing. Both my dh and I were mortified, I felt so guilty about not watching him for that time he climbed up on the pram, I am sure it was about 10 seconds, but still I should have seen it.

Anyway on Monday evening we all went to the doctor for my dh (different GP than mine) - a prebooked appointment - and I excused myself early to change ds's nappy. The doctor then grilled my dh on what happened to ds, asking what happened, when it happened, why one of us wasn't watching him etc. He then said that the authorities can get called over things like this and basically implied that we would be charged for neglect. Following that he told my dh to make sure it never happened again. I mean wtf?

I was ready to go back in and give him what for, but dh stopped me. My own doctor that morning had told me that things like this happen when dcs are walking right beside us and to not worry. But AIBU? Could we be charged for something like this?

herbietea Tue 02-Sep-08 22:15:17

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naturalblonde Tue 02-Sep-08 22:16:32

I'm not an expert in things like this, but it sounds very unreasonable. Surely if the accident wasn't an accident then you wouldn't have taken your ds to the gp and dentist and a&e.

Sidge Tue 02-Sep-08 22:16:49

Sounds like he's recently been on a child protection training update!

He sounds rather heavy-handed but yes, primary care staff are being encouraged to be alert for potential NAIs (non-accidental injuries) and to liaise closely with other agencies. Sounds though like this GP has been rather tactless in his approach - we all know toddlers have accidents, and what the medical staff would look out for is a pattern of injury rather than a one-off event.

cheeset Tue 02-Sep-08 22:18:51

I'd probably be really annoyed too but this wasn't your normal GP. Your one obviously know you and your character presumably.

Maybe you could mention this in a letter to them? I would because of his comment to your dh 'to make sure it never happened again'. That's an awful lot of pressure on top of the normal everday pressure of watching them anyway IYSWIM?

KVC Tue 02-Sep-08 22:24:11

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LittleBella Tue 02-Sep-08 22:24:29

He sounds like someone who doesn't have children.

Not a good idea to complain about him though. The medical profession have real power over mothers and I simply avoid them unless there is an overwhelming need to engage with them.

MarmadukeScarlet Tue 02-Sep-08 22:24:38

Yep, lucky my HV knows my DS and I well as she used to get regular reports from A&E!

If it is any consolation I am now really blase about injury, after 4 years of mopping up blood and occasionally calling ambulances I am much calmer. A few weeks ago our Au Pair was next to DS who was on the rocking horse, he came off it head first at speed and mangled his mouth. Dear god I looked like I'd killed someone, we were both covered as was the floor with a trail from the bedroom to the bathroom and then the kitchen. I called the minor injury unit and they said thay don't touch gums/inner lips as long as his teeth were fine give him a cold drink/icelolly and some calpol.

Don't stress yourself, you GP was being an arse.

Hope Lo is feeling better soon.

cheeset Tue 02-Sep-08 22:25:39

You say the gp also said 'authorities can get called over things like this' - well why didn't he then?

IMO, the GP is BU saying 'to make sure it never happened again'.

Twiglett Tue 02-Sep-08 22:26:48

Complain to the practice manager and ask him/her to investigate and report back .. do it without emotion or upset just give him/her the facts

Be aware that any A&E visit will be reported to HVs and you will most probably be followed up by them as a matter of course .. don't let that freak you it's normal

pudding25 Tue 02-Sep-08 22:27:35

Dont some gps have great bedside manner...He was being totally unreasonable. I would put something in writing to the gp practise. Poor you. You must be feeling upset enough anyway. Accidents to toddlers happen all the time. I can understand why he has to be on the lookout (as a teacher, so do I) but he just about accused you of abuse! Definitely complain about his manner (and also good to have something in writing in case your toddler falls over again).

MarmadukeScarlet Tue 02-Sep-08 22:27:46

KVC is right about SS being called, we have been reported to them (by A&E staff) as DS has had more than X head injuries in X months - he is disbled with severe mobility/balance issues, so no great surprise that he falls alot - all they did was contact my GP who put them straight.

Milliways Tue 02-Sep-08 22:31:32

The A&E report will also go to yor GP, but not for a few days, so they will see you dealt with it immediately.

You are programmed to feel guilty, don't worry! DS knocked a tooth out aged 3 by flying over the handlebars of his bike (wearing helmet, knee & elbow pads). We were made to feel guilty that he could ride a bike without stabilisers at that age.

NinaInCognito Tue 02-Sep-08 22:32:21

Thanks everyone, this is making me feel a lot better - and a bit less guilty!

Am thinking about a letter of complaint anyway - his whole manner was just really bad, I can't believe how some of these GP's are still in practice!

KVC Tue 02-Sep-08 22:34:30

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KVC Tue 02-Sep-08 22:34:32

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KVC Tue 02-Sep-08 22:35:37

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Katw3kitts Tue 02-Sep-08 22:35:46

What an awful couple of days for you all.

As a mother of boys, I've been a frequent visitor to A&E too. Broken bones, stitches, you name it. Your HV always get notifed, but charges being brought ? I doubt it.

'fraid it can be part and parcel of havng sons with a sense of adventure.

Twiglett Tue 02-Sep-08 22:37:16

LOL at penguin grin

Ronaldinhio Tue 02-Sep-08 22:41:47

Yanbu but he is doing it for all the right reasons as I'm sure you'd agree

TheCrackFox Tue 02-Sep-08 22:48:47

The GP sounds a bit over-zealous. They would need to hire about a million more social workers if every trip to A&E was to be investigated.

emma1977 Tue 02-Sep-08 22:54:18

Sounds like a genuine attempt at establishing facts sadly dealt with in a heavy-handed manner. There are ways of doing this with more tact and sensitivity than was shown in this case.

All health professionals live in fear of missing kids with non-accidental injuries, especially in the wake of the Climbie case. I have seen kids with split lips and missing teeth caused by 'running into a door' when in fact it was caused by a parental backhand. However, kids also have a lot of accidents caused by their keenness to explore the world. Trying to find the ones who are being abused and neglected is a difficult task and involves asking uncomfortable questions, which some may take as criticism of their parenting.

Relax, you won't get any charges brought against you.

Raine3 Tue 02-Sep-08 23:16:36

I agree with emma, when kids slip through the net these days it involves major investigations and looking for someone to blame or take the rap for it, we can't blame him for doing his job but maybe he would benefit from a course in diplomacy ...hmm

TinkerBellesMum Tue 02-Sep-08 23:51:57

Tink climbed over the arm of the chair to get on my lap at the PC and fell between the arm and the PC desk. She was hung from her forehead and the lump at the back/base of the head (damn pregnancy brain, I should know what it's called). She had a lovely bruise on her forehead! She wasn't well a couple of days later and I rang Mum worried about taking her (she's a CPSW) and she told me not to worry they know at that age kids hurt themselves. The doctor was great, he made some comment like "I can tell your age by that bruise! What you been doing?" At her, not as a way of questioning me (IYSWIM) I told him and he laughed and said the same as Mum.

Accidents happen and you would expect your GP to know that and not make you feel terrible for an accident.

My brother did six bones a year from the summer between years 6 and 7 and leaving school - although it could be more because I don't think Mum counted up all the toes he broke!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 03-Sep-08 00:21:42

"m thinking about a letter of complaint anyway - his whole manner was just really bad, I can't believe how some of these GP's are still in practice!"

Maybe he's Really Good with the elderly, or the depressed, or <pick another patient group> but Not Very Good At All when there are potential child abuse issues. GPs are humans, y'know.

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