to not want my mil to talk about the world ending in 2011?

[lotuseener]

Mil is convinced that the world is going to end in 2011 (mostly thanks to her religion). So much so that she has offered to pay £3500.00 to send us me, dh and ds to Trinidad and Tobago for 2 weeks and Christmas (where dh is from).She lives in the US, so that would cost her $7000 with the exchange rate. We would never feel comfortable with her spending that much money on us for airfare regardless of if she could afford it our not.

THe fares go down to about £1000 for all 3 of us in January, but she isn't having it. She is insisting that we come for Christmas because "we only have until 2011 to spend all the money we've got!"

This isn't the first time she's used this reasoning, everytime she's come to visit it is because she wants to spend as much time as possible with her grandson before the world ends in 2011. Her words exactly, by the way.

As a mother of a young child and ttc dc#2, I find this incredibly upsetting that she is so convinced that we are all going to die in a few years and that her motivation for spending as much time as possible with us is because the end is near! Dh isn't bothered by it, but he grew up with her religous beliefs.

I get really upset when she starts talking like this, and although ds is too young to understand what she is talking about, within a few years he will. I don't want my son thinking that Nana buys him loads of toys whenever she visits only because we are going to only live for a few more years. She talks so openly about it that she is totally convinced that it will happen.

BTW, I don't believe any of this nonsense and I really don't want to hear anymore about it. Would I be out of line to stop asking her to prophesise the end of all of us when she is in my home?

No, this isn't a wind up, either!!

[BEAUTlFUL]

What religion is she? Is it that one where they don't bother printing calendars after a certain date because they know the World's going to end?

[Lemontart]

wow!
I think you would not be unreasonable to ask her gently to keep her talk about end of the world well away from your child?s ears. Just tell her you respect her opinions and love her very much BUT ask her NOT to talk about it in front of the children as it is likely to frighten and worry them
Do it tactfully and it should be fine.
Tough one over the holiday though. It is her money, but..

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

why not point out to her that nostrudamus (sp?) who i presume she follows? predicted that the world would end as we know it in 2010. not that it would end completely. my mum is a big fan. his predictions have something to do with the olympics and dead walking the earth again, but they dont stop in 2010 which proves that life must go further. that and his predictions were all manily in riddles so we have little understanding on how to translate them properly and he was only right 50% of the time.

but YANBU to ask her to stop particulalry in front of your son.

[lotuseener]

Worldwide church of God, I think. I may have changed it recent years though.

The thing about the holiday, is we are so strapped financially because dh is a PhD student. It's her choice with what she does with her money, but spending £3500.00 on airfare only is very wasteful and unneccesary, imo.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Bloody hell! I have to admit that sometimes when I have insomnia, I wonder what the world's coming to and how we're all going to survive global warming and the oil running out. I even woke DH up in the middle of the night, years ago before we married, and made him promise that he would look after me when civilisation collapsed. I would never let any of that slip in front of a child though, even one that I thought was too young to understand.

Why does she think that it's a problem to die with money in the bank anyway? It's not as though she'll enjoy seeing you less in January than December, she still gets the pleasure of your company.

[WickedBitchoftheEast]

well if she's that stupid take her money and spend it before she gives it to someone else!

Although to be honest your DH should be the one to put a stop to it, so I would have a word with him and make it clear that she does not mention it in front of your child or she wont have to wait until 2011.

[dingdong05]

I agree with lemontart, kids take things a face value and the last thing you want is for your ds to take it on as true. How upsetting for him!
How does your dh feel about taking the money? And is the visit for christmas 2010? If not then explain to her 2 weeks is 2 weeks no matter when it comes!
I feel for you, this is a horrible situation, but at least you don't live close to her, so don't have to put up with it every day.
x

[lotuseener]

no dingdong, it's for this Christmas. She's saying she wants to spend all of her money now, since we'll be gone come 2011!

[HonoriaGlossop]

I wouldn't take a penny from her. Partly because it would be giving credence to her belief and partly because, due to this belief, she is very vulnerable where this issue is concerned; she will make choices that she wouldn't otherwise and I think it would be taking advantage of a vulnerable person.

And I would personally totally bar her from mentioning this in my house, yes - I would make it very clear you will not tolerate it.

She sounds very difficult to have in the family, tbh.

[findtheriver]

Take the money and have a lovely holiday

[Mungarra]

I would tell her very bluntly not to talk like that in front of your son. If she does, you'll need to say something like 'granny's talking nonsense again'. I wouldn't normally advocate undermining a grandparent, but you really have to when she's this crazy and upsetting.

[ConstanceWearing]

Agree with Honoria, very sensible.

This is her hang-up. There is absolutely no reason why it should become your DC's.

I hate these "Armageddon! No future!" doom-mongers.

[lotuseener]

Wow, Honoria, that is a great point of view. I hadn't thought of her as a vulnerable person, but that makes sense.

I will share that with dh tonight.

thank you.

[HonoriaGlossop]

glad it helped lotus!!

[mayorquimby]

"that and his predictions were all manily in riddles so we have little understanding on how to translate them properly and he was only right 50% of the time"

50% of the time?
i'd imagine that is all in retrospective application to the events he "predicted" and by stretching any conceivable meaning to the extremes of generosity.
i'll admit i know very little of nostrodamus, i simply don't believe in fortune telling, but i'd be interested to see his exact predictions in relation to the events they foretold.

[wasabipeanut]

Am I missing something? Why does Trinidad and Tobago get off scott free?

[southeastastra]

no according to this time traveller we'll be fine

[AMumInScotland]

wasabi - I don't think the OP (or her MIL) means that Trinidad & Tobago will be safe - just that she thinks they should take the chance to go there before the world ends. Since it will be a lot harder to do it after the world ends

[lotuseener]

wasabi- all of my dh's side of the family lives in Trinidad, which is why she wants to send us there for Christmas. It's 1 big party at Christmas with the family, but airfare is more than 3x what we'd usually pay, which doesn't bother her because we only have a few more years to spend our money and max out our credit cards, if you see what I am saying...

[WickedBitchoftheEast]

Honoria ~ I get what you are saying, so maybe the son should take all the money he can and give it back to her on new years day 2012

[babyignoramus]

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask her not to mention her beliefs in front of your DS. My mum is Catholic and she talks about church etc. to my niece but wouldn't start going on about burning in Hell etc.

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

When you believe in something so strongly it becomes real.

I can relate a bit as I have been convinced I will die at 39 since when I was 23. I just came up with it and now I believe it.

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

I cna't believe I just posted that.

I am going to regret it, aren't I?