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AIBU?

to have lost my rag with the kids and indulge in wine?

25 replies

shatteredmumsrus · 02/08/2008 20:08

OK, its the school holidays and i know its going to be more stressful than other times. ds1 who is nearly 8 is normally a very charming well behaved boy with excellent manners. However in the last 2 weeks he has said - oh bummer, crap, bumhole. Not to mention havng a fight with the boy next door and when the said boy came to say sorry he slammed the door in his face!Ds2 is nearly 4 and copies everything ds2 says and does hence him saying bumhole earlier. I admittedly lost my rag and sent them both to their room and said they get no more treats from me auntil they behave and I didnt want to see ther faces again tonight!Ds1 came in crying and apologised for being so naughty and he said he doesnt know whats wrong with him.This week they have been to the cinema, out for a meal, new trainers (which they bought themselves) and a toy each and have been taken to a playhouse! They get so much, maybe too much and they done seem to appreciate it. I ranted 'all that stops as of now'!What an old hag!Punishment so far is playstation banned and im not taking them anywhere til they deserve it. I wll stay in all day tomorrow if it kills me.Any other punishment or advice please...

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SoupKitchen · 02/08/2008 20:16

Enjoy your drink, tomorrow is another day.
Kids are full on and do misbehave. Hopefully the realisation that Mum does not tolerate the behaviour has registered with your Ds1 and he behaves tomorrow, your DS2 if true to form ill copy that as well.

Do you have any support?

shatteredmumsrus · 02/08/2008 20:18

Yeah he is in the pub, ha ha.Just sent ds2 o his room for calling ds1 a poohead. Its all fun!

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SoupKitchen · 02/08/2008 20:25

Great support then.
Tomorrow night you go out and leave him for an hour or 2 arund bedtime. The support might improve then

noonki · 02/08/2008 20:25

Oh poor you, it's hordible when you lose it - I have been there oh yes!

maybe tomorrow have a chat with him about bad language, at that age they are playing with it - and pushing boundaries- and have little comprehesion of what is really rude and what they can get away with - confused more by the fact, in our house definately, that adults swear

as for the boy next door - you may have not had the whole story - maybe more had gone on than you knew

that said - if you feel they are getting spoilt materially, cut it out does no good for them in the long run

Good luck and have enjoy your wine - I sadly am enjoying a bottle of cava, which we were meant to be saving but have run out of cash and tbh is ugghhh!

shatteredmumsrus · 02/08/2008 20:39

noonki - i had a bottle of cava bought for me for my bday last week - vile uggggh but when your desperate eh it will do!
Mite do that soupkitchen

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kittywise · 02/08/2008 20:41

Yeah enjoy a drink and remember, we're all going through variations of this all the time.
I find alcohol to be essential!

shatteredmumsrus · 02/08/2008 20:42

and a large bar of dairymlk!

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TheMagnificent7 · 03/08/2008 02:47

If you're that desperate for a drink that you'll have anything, then it's time to stop. Alcohol is not the answer. Sounds like it's the problem. Why not spend less on them if you;re worried they get too much ?

They sound a bit boisterous, but hunting out more punishments sounds a bit extreme.

themildmanneredjanitor · 03/08/2008 03:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMagnificent7 · 03/08/2008 04:31

Have your life destoyed by a boozer then tell me how sanctimonious I am. It's pathetic the excuses drinkers use.

themildmanneredjanitor · 03/08/2008 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMagnificent7 · 03/08/2008 12:50

Yeah, funny as fcuk

lucyellensmum · 03/08/2008 13:53

shatteredmums, poor you, its bloody hard work isn't it. Your boys are testing you, and they seem to have hit jackpot on the lets wind mummy up scale.

does it really matter that he said poohead? it could have been so SO much worse. Seriously, let things like that go otherwise your life is going to be a battle. Ignore when those words come out, they are doing it for attention. Anything worse, of course something has to happen.

You have to now stick to the playstation ban, but maybe take them out if they behave, else you are going to have a shit day. Get your DP out of the pub too - he is their dad too, needs to help out more.

I think you handled things really well.

I did drink my DPs caffreys last night in desperation, but i just look forward to my cold beer of a night. I AM aware that i might be drinking too much though and apart from M7 says its not healthy. I dont think thats an issue with you though, if the only alcohol in the house is CAVA (vile!) then it doesnt sound like you are a big drinker. I can totally appreciate M7s point of view though, but do think this is a case of a knackered mummy looking for a bit of relaxation.

Ledodgy · 03/08/2008 14:13

It is stressful especially during the holidays. Have you thought about an earlier bed time especially for ds 2? He's only 3 and you sent him to his room after 8 pm for name calling, he was probably over tired and needed to go to bed.

shatteredmumsrus · 03/08/2008 16:24

Cant believe I got blasted for mentioning that I had some wine.For gods sake I work 2 days a week and have two small children and a partner to look after the rest of the time. I am allowed to have a couple of glasses of wine on a Saturday night!I appreciate you have had a problem in the past with someone who was a drnker but you cant go around having a go at someone who had a couple of glasses of wine after a hard day. I dont smoke and never have but isnt that the same as ex smokers who have a go at all those who stll smoke. Very hypocritcal and unfair.
Thanks for all the other advice - taken on board and logged for next time. And no poohead isnt that bad it could have been worse - shithead maybe!Ha ha

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lucyellensmum · 03/08/2008 16:44

even worse than that even!!!

shatteredmumsrus · 03/08/2008 16:47

True. He starts junior school Sept - god knows what lovely words he is going to learn!

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TheMagnificent7 · 03/08/2008 22:42

"noonki - i had a bottle of cava bought for me for my bday last week - vile uggggh but when your desperate eh it will do!
"

Sorry, you said you were desperate, and drank whatever you could find. Not me.

I know bringing up children can make you crazy, but don't turn to drink. A weekend drink, or even social weekday drink in moderation, is cool. But not on your own, and not if you're desperate. And not if you are angry.

YANBU for losing your rag, but a little harsh to want to keep on punishing them. YABU to think alcohol will help. It won't. I'm not a hyprocrite if I don't drink on my own or when I'm angry. If I had in the past, then had a dig, that would be hypocritical. I'm a victim of an alcoholic partner and have hear absoultely every single excuse for boozing on your own. If it's not desperation, and not a problem, don't post it on the internet. All credit for putting up with your children when they are unusually difficult.

shatteredmumsrus · 04/08/2008 07:59

I have been and still am affected y a heavy drinker as a partner - tho he is much better nowadays. If I want to open a bottle of wine on a Saturday night when dp is out and the kids are in bed then why not?I cannot understand any reason why I shouldn't. Im not dependant on alcohol and probably drink 1 or 2 nghts out the whole week. Even then its a couple of glasses of wine not a vat of it.Thansyou for your advice but I am the last person that would 'turn to drink'.When I said to keep on punishing them it was a light hearted comment. The whole thread was intended to be lighthearted. Sorry for your situation but I think you were a bit OTT for having a go at me.

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TheMagnificent7 · 04/08/2008 23:03

You stuck it on the internet, not me. You invited comments on it, not me. Here's a clue. Say what you mean next time. You're the one that said you're boozing on your own and drinking anything you can find because of your frustration with the kids. Brilliant lighthearted thread. You asked for opinions, you got one. If it wasnt true then please don't waste time, that's the troll thing isn't it ?

Octothechildherder · 04/08/2008 23:11

shatteredmums - could have written that myself - including the bit about the wine.

I have sat here tonight on my own as dh out, after a LONG day, with some wine - its not criminal - its quite normal

My main punishment is banning the Nintendo - also better for family dynamics as we get other toys out and play together!

lucyellensmum · 04/08/2008 23:19

TM7, you need to walk away from this one, its upsetting you.

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TheMagnificent7 · 05/08/2008 00:03

Sorry. My apologies all.

mrstoady · 05/08/2008 22:50

join the club. I should imagine there are loads of us all feeling exactly the same as you at this very moment.

shatteredmumsrus · 06/08/2008 15:07

Had a good day today. A local park had a funday so we risked the rain and had a picnic,fab day had by all!

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