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to think that my DH should have just bathed our friend's 4 year old girl with ours?

(63 Posts)
Turniphead1 Sun 20-Jul-08 20:17:30

hmmm - not sure what I think. DD had her friend to stay yesterday and we offered to bath her with our DD as it was 6 o clock. In the end she didn't want a bath - but DH said, if she goes in the bath you will have to do it (I was having a rest at the time and not planning on doing the baths...).

At first I thought he was being silly, but I guess the more I think about it the more I think it's probably best that he doesn't bath our daughters friends. Makes me sad though. And makes me wonder - what do single fathers do when their DD's have friends to stay?

lizandlulu Sun 20-Jul-08 20:23:32

yes that is a good point. i think though that if you trust a single dad enough to have your dd stay at their house then you can trust them enough to bath them.

CantSleepWontSleep Sun 20-Jul-08 20:26:04

What is the world coming to?! Of course he could have bathed her.

Sobernow Sun 20-Jul-08 20:26:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hecate Sun 20-Jul-08 20:27:32

I can totally understand - given the hysterical way many people are these days - why he felt that way.

It is sad and wrong because nobody would have a problem with a mother bathing someone else's young child. But awful as it is, you can't pretend it's not the reality. It's sickening to think men are viewed this way by many. angry

betterhalf Sun 20-Jul-08 20:27:49

I think he made the right decision too. It's a sad world we live in, but unforunately you have to protect yourself as well as any children.

windygalestoday Sun 20-Jul-08 20:28:12

we have 3 sons and occasionally now the eldest 2 are at secondary they have friends who are girls come round after school - dh will only take girls in the car if im there-and doesnt like being alone with them whilst they are in our home sad its not because hes a weirdo purely becuse he doesnt want to be accused of anything untoward-v sad sign of the times.

Heated Sun 20-Jul-08 20:28:18

Dh wouldn't, at least not on his own, yet he'd happily take them swimming hmm

RubyRioja Sun 20-Jul-08 20:33:07

I think your dh was absolutely right. Big difference between bathing and general hosting. More room for misinterpretation.

My dh would certainly not have bathed someone else's 4yo girl. WHen we have little guests, he would prob go in garden or stay downstairs.

As others say, protecting himself.

PaulineMole1 Sun 20-Jul-08 20:37:45

Your dh was in the right ,there is no way my dp would have bathed someone else's little girl all it takes is the little girl ti say something completley innocent and it could completley blow up.

SazzlesA Sun 20-Jul-08 20:38:00

Message withdrawn

tiggerlovestobounce Sun 20-Jul-08 20:39:30

I think your DH was right.
I wouldnt be completely comfortable to give any of my DDs friends a bath either. If they were filthy and staying over then maybe, but wouldnt do a bath as "routine".
Better to avoid any possibility of misunderstanding IMO.

tiggerlovestobounce Sun 20-Jul-08 20:40:18

(should add I'm female!)

constancereader Sun 20-Jul-08 20:40:37

I think your dh was right.

But I hate this criminalisation of perfectly normal behavior. It is terribly sad.

RubyRioja Sun 20-Jul-08 20:42:13

I would plonk all manner of dcs friends in tub though. Have done so many times and received grateful thanks. AM v hands off though.

Dh is lucky he escapes this one and would prob prep dinner as his contribution.

unfitmother Sun 20-Jul-08 20:42:31

I think your DH was right, my DH would be the same. sad

blueshoes Sun 20-Jul-08 21:08:08

I am sure I would feel uncomfortable if one of my dd's playmate's father bathed both of them - so turnip, your dh was right to be circumspect.

Men are actually more aware of these potential minefields than women are. Women are able to take a more relaxed approach so don't always see the issue.

MaryAnnSingleton Sun 20-Jul-08 21:10:31

also think your dh was right, sad but that's the way it is these days....

noonki Sun 20-Jul-08 21:11:09

my DH has bathed our friends kids on a couple of occasions but they are good friends and they do the same with our kids,

I think it is so sad that we have to think about these things so much

AbbeyA Sun 20-Jul-08 21:21:44

It is very sad but sensible of your DH.

stitch Sun 20-Jul-08 21:23:12

i agree with your dp.
its best for his own self htat he doesnt bath her.

Heated Sun 20-Jul-08 21:24:07

Actually on further reflection, I'm pretty sure my dad wouldn't have done either! I'm not sure it is a this day and age thing.

stitch Sun 20-Jul-08 21:25:56

tbh, i expect my own five year dd tohave a shower herslef. and have doen so for almost a year now.
i see no reason why your friends six year old cannot have a showwer herself, or simply skip an all over wash one night. it wont be such a big deal

MrsCurly Sun 20-Jul-08 21:26:52

Sorry I'm with Can't Sleep Won't Sleep on this one. I was going to say I tihnk it's madness and of course he should have bathed her. But reading all these replies has made me quite livid. It's not enough to say, "Oh it's sad but that's how things are these days." Things shouldn't be like this at all and by avoiding NORMAL things like parents bathing children - any children - that are staying overnight in a house we are all adding to the problem.

Who says "we have to think about these things do much" ? We don't!

Why do we have such a low opinion of men??!

stitch Sun 20-Jul-08 21:31:43

mrsc, your reply has made me livid.
when are we expected to teach childrent he difference between the sexes then? at the age of 16? when we finally remove the cotton wool from around them , and thrust them naked into the adult world?
human life has two sexes in it. male and female. there are some cultural norms that exist. and thesooner children learn about them, when to follow them, and when it is ok to safely break them, and do their own thing, the safer our children will be.
however, feel free to wrap your own child up in cotton wool till the age of sixty seven. but dont expect the rest of us to go along with your utopian ideals.

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