Basic scenario is this: Myself, my dh + 2 dc's went to visit my dh's parents recently for the weekend. Neither of us drive, but are very used to taking the train there, (about 4 hour journey but an easy one, only one change).
We went up there by train which went fine, but mil was insistent she'd drive us home. We made it clear that she didn't need to, we were perfectly happy travelling by train as normal.
However, she insisted so before we went I got the house straight and spare room sorted, (knowing she'd be staying a night with us after bringing us home due to the distance).
However, the whole journey back she wasn't her normal cheerful self, but snappy + short with me + dh. We made a supermarket stop + I asked her what she fancied to eat this evening. Her response was, "Oh don't mind me, just get what you all need". However I put myself out, bought some nice bits I knew she'd like as well, only to hear her mutter to dh, "She's bought the whole shop!" It was her idea to stop at the supermarket, we'd said we already had things in at home!
When we were almost home she suddenly said she fancied a takeaway, + what we'd just bought would surely keep!
Anyway, we had a takeaway, atmosphere seemed strained. She always makes a fuss of the dc's, but although they were playing in the living room she just didn't seem interested, I was quite relieved when bedtime came. Asked her a couple of times if she was ok, to which she responded, "Fine".
She left next morning, we thanked her for driving us back but atmosphere still seemed frosty.
Dh is just glossing over it all, saying oh well, let's forget it! He also asked what was wrong but couldn't get an answer. He thinks we should send gift vouchers or flowers as she'd made a special journey, but I'm thinking the whole thing would have been far more relaxed if she'd let us take the train as normal!
We didn't have loads of luggage, and when we visit them we taxi to their house from the train station, so it's not as if we rely on their transport at all! The weekend up there went fine, dc's were well behaved and we all got on by the way.
Thinking twice about sending her anything, feel very stressed by the whole episode!
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AIBU?
to feel resentful of my mother in law?
4 replies
onthepier · 20/07/2008 17:53
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