Your thoughts on this please

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

I would like your opinions on this financial situation please.
Divorced parents with a child who has mild autism.
Not living in Uk so will outlay facts as they are financially, so no bias.
Child lives with RP and step parent.
Child attends mainstream school full time.
NRP pays equivalent of £400 pcm maintenance.
Child spends eow with NRP and a day on alternate weekends.
Child prefers to stay at home as his friends and interests are there which is why it's only a day on alternate weekends.
Child spends three weeks per year on holidays with NRP.
RP works three days per week. Stepparent is registered as carer for child.Receives £250 pw, medical card, travel card, free electricity and fuel allowance.
RP receives benefits of average £420 pcm, children's allowance approx £100 pcm.
Child is independent and thrivingand does not require private treatments. All treatments have been public health funded.
RP does not have mortgage or rent.
Is it reasonable to expect extra contributions for items such as hobby equipment and trips away?

[WonderEwe25]

So the RP gets £1520 roughly a month combined with the Step parent’s carer allowance, as well as fuel, free electricity, travel card and medical card along with no mortgage or rent? Does either the RP or step parent have a job? Either way that is a lot of money for the child to which I think is more than enough to cover everything. You can ask for extra maybe every now and then but considering the money the RP and step parent get combined I think that’s more than enough!

[HarrietsChariot]

No, the RP is raking it in as it is and should consider themselves in a very fortunate position compared to most.

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

RP works three days per week.Step parent doesn't work, maybe cash jobs now and again.

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

It's really not about how much is reasonable to top up the RP income. That suggests the full cost of raising the child is the responsibility of the RP and the non res parent only needs to top up to a reasonable level
Fuck that.
The child is the equal responsibility of both. It doesn't matter if the RP is a bloody millionaire, the CHILD has the right to be supported by both parents, not oh well, rp has enough, why should non res contribute, RP doesn't need it.

[gobbynorthernbird]

Can the NRP afford to make further contributions? What are the general costs of living in that country? It sounds like RP has a reasonable amount of cash but we don't know what (eg) a weekly shop or tank of petrol costs.

[ThreeLittleDots]

I don't understand why the 'resident parent' receives any maintenance from the 'non-resident parent' if the child spends every other week living there - that's shared custody, surely?

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

Every other weekend.
Child is an only child. All live, work and go to school in same village.
Cost of living is average.

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

NRP works part time by choice.

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

Do you think the NRP contributions are adequate @IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves.

[Cocomarine]

@ThreeLittleDots

I don't understand why the 'resident parent' receives any maintenance from the 'non-resident parent' if the child spends every other week living there - that's shared custody, surely?

Where did you get that from?
They alternate 2 days one weekend, 1 the next. So 3/14. That’s hardly 50/50!

[Cocomarine]

Is there a reason that you - the nonRP by the sounds of it - want to give us all the details of the RP household income but not your own?

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

I am neither.

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

@anothernamechangedforthisone

Do you think the NRP contributions are adequate *@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves*.

No idea. I don't know what country it is, what the child needs, how much the extra curricular stuff costs, how much the 400 is as a percentage of non res parent income, etc etc.

If the child has disabilities then they very possibly have extra needs and therefore additional expenses. Then there's the question of saving for their future. College fund, and little savings pot, stuff like that.

A hundred pounds a week for half the total cost of raising a child including future planning doesn't seem excessive to me.

[FourteenSixteenTwentyTwo]

It’s surely irrelevant all the extra money RP gets though? The only amount that matters is the maintenance from NRP and whether they can afford to support with extras.

[LuaDipa]

The RP income is irrelevant. The NRP should pay a fair share to support the child. Given there are no details of the NRP income it is difficult to say if they should/shouldn’t be paying more.

[Anoisagusaris]

I think you are in Ireland by the benefits being received.

Doesn’t sound like any of these adults are too bothered about working. It’s so wrong that a step parent would qualify for carers allowance for a child with mild autism and 2 parents who only work part time.

[Cocomarine]

@anothernamechangedforthisone

I am neither.

Then is it your business?

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

Is it fair that folk believe that the RP should work full time because her child does not need any intervention outside of set hours and if appointments arise the Step parent in role of carer can cover that?
Is it fair that both parents should pay for unspecified extras considering state income for said child is provided solely for those reasons?

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

It is@Cocomarine but that's not what I am asking or willing to discuss here.What is your opinion ?

[Cocomarine]

My opinion is that thread is absolutely pointless without the full financial picture 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I earn lots more than my XH and then choose to sign our child up to riding lessons and rent her a pony, is it fair to demand 50% from him? That’s our actual life, by the way. No, of course it isn’t.

[anothernamechangedforthisone]

What other information do you think is needed?

[MagnoliaBeige]

The only relevant information is if the NRP is paying the correct proportion of their income in child maintenance. The majority of the rest of the information is irrelevant. If the RP thinks the NRP should pay more, they should go through the equivalent of the CSA. If you’re neither the NRP or the RP, whether you think it’s fair or not is neither here nor there.

[Ponoka7]

It's reasonable to ask for hobby equipment contributions. It depends on the trips and if the other parent is consulted. It depends on the other parent's income and outgoings. As said it doesn't matter what the child receives in benefits, a child should still be supported financially by both parents. What the other parent buys would have to be taken into account. Does the child have a fully set up life in the NRP? Does the NRP kit them out with clothes etc?

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

@MagnoliaBeige

The only relevant information is if the NRP is paying the correct proportion of their income in child maintenance. The majority of the rest of the information is irrelevant. If the RP thinks the NRP should pay more, they should go through the equivalent of the CSA. If you’re neither the NRP or the RP, whether you think it’s fair or not is neither here nor there.

This

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

@anothernamechangedforthisone

Is it fair that folk believe that the RP should work full time because her child does not need any intervention outside of set hours and if appointments arise the Step parent in role of carer can cover that?
Is it fair that both parents should pay for unspecified extras considering state income for said child is provided solely for those reasons?

Yes