Still not taking meds, although gave the methotrexate a go, horrific experience, so it’s a hard no… I was already barely 40kg and when that came down to 36kg, along with all the rest of the beautiful side effects (I’ve developed very personal relationship with our toilet as she was my best friend during these times… sorry if tmi”). Afterwards I started on very exclusive diet, which I totally hate, but I reclaimed most of my body back, I even started running again sometimes, but my hands are still not giving in… and I’m not eating as healthy as before and still not ready mentally to exclude everything that I know works for me, but obviously will have to… But I’m again at that moment with the acceptance… I thought I passed that bridge, but now it’s really driving me crazy and I’m really really angry at… we’ll, everything. Why I’m back to where I was with acceptance? Because my hands hurt more than before cos I ate a cookie or two now and then? Or because I’m simply stupid and had to stick with the healthy eating? But, as a normal human being, I’d like to have that double chocolate chip cookie… I know what most of you’ll say, I know I’m foolish and have to be grateful, could be so much worse… but I’m not… I’m just angry, disappointed and feel like punished. Perhaps the additional health issues, nothing serious I’d say, but I hate going to doctors doesn’t help and the fatigue is back with vengeance…
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RA - trouble with acceptance again and the doctors are driving me crazy…
69 replies
Lanawondering · 29/06/2021 21:21
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