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AIBU?

to serve champagne and cake after my wedding ceremony

67 replies

spuffy · 28/11/2020 15:27

I'm getting married in a couple of weeks in a venue with capacity for over 100 so we will be well spread out. We want to serve tea, coffee, a glass of champagne and some (individual) cakes after the ceremony but our venue are now asking us to sign a contract saying we won't serve any food. Is this other people's experience as well? We would have one person serving everyone while they remain seated. AIBU to think that everyone can make an individual risk assessment and decide if they want to eat and drink something after the ceremony rather than the venue dictating to us that we can't serve anything?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

212 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
79%
You are NOT being unreasonable
21%
Porgy · 28/11/2020 15:29

Are there rules in place about this with covid? Or is it a case of they don't want to miss out on the revenue ie they will let you have food if they provide it.

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Lockheart · 28/11/2020 15:31

The venue makes the risk assessment, not you.

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DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 28/11/2020 15:34

The venue can dictate whatever they like. You should abide by that or find another venue who will accommodate your wishes.

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MaggieFS · 28/11/2020 15:37

I don't understand their concern. Someone walking around serving? Or because you're bringing it in yourself?

Typically, you hire a venue and you have to abide by their Ts and Cs. What does your contract say?

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Moondust001 · 28/11/2020 15:37

YABU because - you do realise that this is called a "reception" and is specifically against the law, which is why your venue have told you NOT to do this? It is therefore not relevant what you think or what anyone else thinks - it is against the law. So if you do this the venue risks a heavy fine and closure (and you risk fines too), at which point I would hope that they sue you for every penny they lose. Businesses have more than enough struggles without irresponsible customers risking their livelihoods and their employees jobs. If you can't abide by the rules, then cancel the venue. U=You have no right to put them at such risk.

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Hardbackwriter · 28/11/2020 15:38

Are you in tier 3? If so you're not allowed wedding receptions so I guess the venue has decided that food crosses the line from 'people taking their time to leave after the ceremony' to 'a reception' and although it's really shit for you I can see why they've decided that.

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ememem84 · 28/11/2020 15:40

You’re lucky you can have so many people at your wedding. Where I am it’s 20 max.

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40weekswithno2 · 28/11/2020 15:41

I'd assume it's because it then turns it into a reception and the venue could get into a lot of trouble if they're seen to be allowing it.

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Pipandmum · 28/11/2020 15:42

Even in tier one you are limited to 15 people at a wedding.

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Alb1 · 28/11/2020 15:42

Even in tier 2 alcohol is only allowed to be served with a substantial meal so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s outside the rules. The venue have to make the risk assessment to be Covid secure anyway, so it’s not up to individuals to decide unfortunately

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Connieston · 28/11/2020 15:42

Maybe you could do party bags to take away with mini champagne and cake inside plus favour if you want etc. If they're sealed and people are leaving it wouldnt be "serving food" really.

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ShalomToYouJackie · 28/11/2020 15:42

Op said the venue holds 100 (as in it's big and easy to have people spaced out) not that she is having 100 guests

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Hardbackwriter · 28/11/2020 15:43

@ememem84

You’re lucky you can have so many people at your wedding. Where I am it’s 20 max.

I don't think she's saying she is having 100 people, I think she's saying that the venue can hold that many so with the smaller number she now has to have they can be really spaced out.
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AlwaysLatte · 28/11/2020 15:44

But you can't serve food can you as it's in the T&Cs. Not sure if I've read your post correctly. If you are talking about flouting the rules of the agreement you may not get a deposit back and I doubt you'd be able to hire the hall again.

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HopeAndDriftWood · 28/11/2020 15:45

You can’t have a reception. We had to plan for this when we rearranged our wedding, too... thankfully we were allowed ours, but there’s no loopholes. You can’t serve champagne or food, you can’t have guests congregating. You can have 15 people watch the ceremony and then they need to leave.

Your venue risks a fine and being forced to close if you do, and you and your guests risk hefty fines. It’s not down to individual risk assessments, because it’s against the rules.

I’m sorry, it sucks and it’s really limiting, but your options are get married but no reception, or postpone.

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Meepmeeep · 28/11/2020 15:47

Maybe she’s level 1 where weddings are permitted?

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KatieGGGG · 28/11/2020 15:48

You can think what you like but it’s up to the venue what they do.

You said yourself after the ceremony. Only ceremonies are permitted not receptions.

Reschedule for next year if it’s that important to you or dish out party bags, but it’s absolutely not the venue being unreasonable.

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DianaT1969 · 28/11/2020 15:53

The advice being offered by posters doesn't seem up to date. The government website says you can hold a wedding reception and serve food and drink to up to 15 people if they remain seated and staff serve.
www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-wedding-and-civil-partnership-receptions-and-celebrations
Covid levels 1-2 though, not the highest levels.

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PurBal · 28/11/2020 15:56

I've tried to respond to this a few times and can't quite explain it right. I work for a charity that has an enclosed green space that people don't realise is private property. We've have to close the gates to stop people from meeting in groups because we are liable for the fine. It's not just about you and your guests, it's also about the venue and staff. Trying to "bend" or blatantly break the rules is selfish. I'm sorry it's shit.

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Ginfordinner · 28/11/2020 16:01

It depends on what tier you will be in.

Tier 3 rules taken from government website just now:

weddings and funerals can go ahead with restrictions on the number of attendees – 15 people can attend wedding ceremonies, wedding receptions are not allowed, 30 people can attend funeral ceremonies, 15 people can attend linked commemorative events

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Suzi888 · 28/11/2020 16:03

@Moondust001

YABU because - you do realise that this is called a "reception" and is specifically against the law, which is why your venue have told you NOT to do this? It is therefore not relevant what you think or what anyone else thinks - it is against the law. So if you do this the venue risks a heavy fine and closure (and you risk fines too), at which point I would hope that they sue you for every penny they lose. Businesses have more than enough struggles without irresponsible customers risking their livelihoods and their employees jobs. If you can't abide by the rules, then cancel the venue. U=You have no right to put them at such risk.

^^ this
Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding though!
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JaniceSopranoJr · 28/11/2020 16:03

No, that counts as a reception, which isn't allowed at all. You're only allowed a ceremony under current governance.

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ClaireP20 · 28/11/2020 16:04

@Connieston

Maybe you could do party bags to take away with mini champagne and cake inside plus favour if you want etc. If they're sealed and people are leaving it wouldnt be "serving food" really.

I did this! No partt.afterwards, but the church let me set up a table and as people were leaving they each took a bag (each had the persons name on very clearly)with a small bottle of champagne, a piece of cake, some little wedding favours and a hand written thank you note.

X
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PrivateD00r · 28/11/2020 16:05

You don't say what part of the UK you are in so I don't know how people know whether you would be breaking rules.

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category12 · 28/11/2020 16:06

The venue don't want to get into trouble or get fined, and you need to abide by their rules if you want to use it. It's not up to you what risks their business does or doesn't take.

If you don't like it, go somewhere else that allows what you want, if you can find one.

You can't always have what you want.

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