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AIBU?

to expect pre-school not to let my ds be hungry all afternoon?

28 replies

Bambiraptor · 25/09/2007 19:35

My ds has just started pre-school and stays for lunch every day. Two days a week he stays until 3pm while I am at work.
He is a very fussy eater and the lunches that are provided are so far not going down very well.
Today, as he was staying until 3pm, I put a sandwich in his backpack and asked the staff to give it to him if he didn't eat his lunch, as I didn't want him to be hungry all afternoon.
They have refused however, saying that it will not encourage him to eat his lunch if he knows he has an alternative.
They are right of course, but surely that is my problem not theirs and they should do as I ask.
So AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

fizzbuzz · 25/09/2007 19:48

Why can't he take a sandwich every day? If he doesn't like school dinners what's the problem?

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 25/09/2007 19:49

yes.

glitterchick · 25/09/2007 19:53

YANBU - my kids are fussy eaters. My nursery would not refuse to give my kids their own sandwiches. Put your foot down and insist.

Bambiraptor · 25/09/2007 20:09

I don't really understand what the problem is either.
It's a bit harsh to expect him to survive on a glass of milk all day.
I'll have to have another chat with the staff.

OP posts:

fizzbuzz · 25/09/2007 20:15

Are you paying for pre-school? If so, then you can give him whatever you want surely. In fact even if you aren't paying, you should be able to!

Bambiraptor · 25/09/2007 20:26

Fizzbuzz, i am paying for the 'lunch club', so it is my money I am wasting if he doesn't eat his food, not theirs.
I have deliberately sent him to the lunch club to try and improve his eating, so I do want him to carry on going.

OP posts:

Rubybees · 25/09/2007 20:38

So if your sending him to try new things YABU

He will try things after a while as you say he has only just started

Bambiraptor · 25/09/2007 20:44

Ruby, maybe you are right, but it still doesn't change the fact that on the 2 days he is there all day he will be starving if he doesn't eat his lunch.

OP posts:

Tommy · 25/09/2007 20:48

he won't starve himself - he may even learn to eat his dinners!
(that's what I'm hoping with DS2 and school dinners )

lulumama · 25/09/2007 20:52

YABU

lunch will surely be at a set time, and will be a set meal, to get them used to school.. also, he will have to be supervised whilst eating surely, and maybe miss out on doing something , and the other children will also want to know why they don;t get an extra lunch too

if you know he is not going to eat, make sure you take a sandwich and banana or something with you when you collect him, and he can eat as soon as you get there..

the preschool have a number of children to care for, so cannot do lots of different things for each child if it is going to disrupt the day

Bambiraptor · 25/09/2007 21:00

I can see your point lulumama, but I do think a 3 year old needs to have something to eat in the day.

Tommy, it's a good plan.. in theory!

OP posts:

lulumama · 25/09/2007 21:12

make sure he has a good breakfast, porridge and fruit is a good filling one

also, 3 year olds tend not to starve themselves, but can also live on a surpringly small amount of food

also, it is only 2 days out of 7 that he is missing a meal...

Piffle · 25/09/2007 21:16

why does he need to learn to eat their food?
is he in prison?

essbeehindyou · 25/09/2007 21:21

Message withdrawn

annh · 25/09/2007 23:30

Bambiraptor, if as you have said you are sending him to lunch club to try and improve his eating, it's a bit of a waste of effort if you are also going to send a sandwich with him for later. After the first day he doesn't eat the lunch and is given a sandwich later, do you think he is ever going to eat it again?

Greensleeves · 25/09/2007 23:35

Bloody power-hungry jobsworths and their bloody little empires.

You should kick ass - if you say he's having a sandwich, they should do as they're told and give it to him. As a school would, in fact.

handlemecarefully · 25/09/2007 23:35

I'm torn - I'm from the school of thought that my children have to eat what is put in front of them or go hungry (within reason, I don't give them highly spiced foods etc).... so I can see where the Pre-School is coming from.

However you are his mother and so it's your call. If you want him to have an alternative such as a sandwich that you have provided then it that it your prerogative.

So, YANBU

Bambiraptor · 26/09/2007 06:28

I think maybe I will give it another week, and if he still isn't eating I will insist on the sandwich.
I can see there point of view, but I do think they need to accommodate individual needs to a certain extent.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 26/09/2007 06:55

but it's not the preschool making your ds go hungry is it? You are the one sending him to the lunch club in the hopes of improving his appetite, he doesn't have to be there - it was your choice.

If he's not eating there and things aren't improving, then don't send him.

If the preschool start having additional snack times for your child, then they have to start pandering to the demands of all the other children wanting their own sandwiches etc, and frankly, a set mealtime has already been set aside, the rest of the day is there for other things.

yabu.

BandofMothers · 26/09/2007 07:38

I think it is a bit unfair to expect the school to disrupt the afternoon activities to feed your ds, because all the other children will want to eat. If you are worried then take a snack at pick up like someone else suggested.

Do they do a snack later on before the end of session, they do at my DD1's preschool. They sit down half an hour before the end to have milk and fruit then a story. So if he didn't eat lunch, would he eat that???

essbeehindyou · 26/09/2007 13:01

Message withdrawn

fedupwasherwoman · 26/09/2007 13:11

Do they get stickers on a chart for good behaviour like tidying up or such like.

I asked pre-school to restrict ds's star stickers and offer him a sticker if he at least tried the lunch. It worked and he went on to eat several of the lunch options that he had previously refused to even try because after a couple of mouthfuls he found it wasn't that bad after all.

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Greensleeves · 26/09/2007 13:47

essbeehindyou · 26/09/2007 13:50

Message withdrawn

mm22bys · 26/09/2007 13:57

Do the kids have a choice? At DS1's nursery where they provided lunch, they made two meals, one "ordinary" (for want of a better wors), and one for kids who had food alllergies / intolerances. If your DS's school offers a choice, could you ask for the non-normal one?

I don't think you can expect your DSs school to make an exception for him, unless there are medical reasons as to why he can't eat their food. If your son gets his own food, everyone else will want an exception made for their DC too, and it's only one meal a day for two days - he won't starve!

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