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Are neighbour’s parking demands a bit CF?

(38 Posts)
BadAlice Thu 25-Jun-20 13:12:15

Live on a small terrace of old farmhand cottages in a village/hamlet of about 20 houses. Narrow, winding lane. Outside the cottages there is enough space to park cars and still have a vehicle get past but much of the road is single lane (no other roads nearby) so it does limit the parking a lot. We all get by by being considerate. On our little terrace there is enough space for everyone to park one car outside of their house pretty much, but someone has to park outside of the corner cottage which has a garage so doesn’t need a parking space. None of the parking is reserved.

The lady who owns the corner cottage is a retiree who has a group of friends over (they do art together or something) once per week. This had stopped due to lockdown but have recently resumed in her garden. This means an extra four or five cars to park. Usually not a problem as lots of people are out during the day. No one on our row is currently back at work properly (working from home or on furlough still).

This morning I noticed corner cottage lady asking our neighbour to move his car from outside her house so her friends could park there today.

Now this is where I think SIBU. Her friends park outside my house if I pop out when they are due. I was clearly just popping to the shop with toddler DS and we had a chat about it as we were leaving this morning. I’m pregnant, waddling, and have a not yet two year old and bags of shopping to manage. If she can ask people to move their cars for her friends, couldn’t she also consider that I might need to park nearer? There is parking about 100m away and I do feel like tht’s a much more reasonable walk for seemingly well, recently retired women (not elderly and infirm) than a harassed mum tbh. It wouldn’t even occur to me to ask them not to park outside our house if it wasn’t for the fact that she asks people to move from outside hers though!

OP’s posts: |
imsooverthisdrama Thu 25-Jun-20 13:19:05

Yes it's completely cf and i see what you mean.
I've had similar with my NDN over the years as me & dh are the same quite happy to park wherever , we have a drive but only for 1 car. NDN complains if car is too near even though it's outside my house . If she has relatives or friends round she wants to use the space outside our house but will complain if we park there to say it's too near their drive . My dh is too accommodating where's I'm like you op if I have shopping or dc in car I want to park near my house if space . If someone is parked there i wouldn't dream of asking to move and vice versa .

RedCatBlueCat Thu 25-Jun-20 13:20:11

SWBU asking people to move from parking on a public road. Nice as it is to be able to park outside your front door, unless you have a drive it isnt a right.

peachesandclean Thu 25-Jun-20 13:22:50

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LudaMusser Thu 25-Jun-20 13:29:44

She should have been told No firmly

I used to live minutes from a town centre and although I had a permit to park on five streets sometimes I couldn't. I maybe parked outside my apartment once or twice in eighteen months

I'll never understand why people think they have the right to park outside their house. On my street people will do if possible but nobody asks people to move or starts crying or shouting. There's much bigger issues in the world than parking a few houses down

BadAlice Thu 25-Jun-20 13:34:00

@peachesandclean It was only once I was loading DS into the car that I realised the day otherwise we definitely would have made alternative plans!

We used to have a toddler group on a Thursday and ended up doing the 40 minute walk across fields most weeks as it was easier if DS fell asleep in the pushchair on the way home than having to stay in the car because couln’t park near enough to transfer him in to the house 😂

OP’s posts: |
TerribleCustomerCervix Thu 25-Jun-20 13:38:46

Yeah, she’s being a knob.

She needs to be told that being neighbourly is something that works both ways, not just in her interests.

Everanewbie Thu 25-Jun-20 13:42:49

Urgh this is all down to how she approaches things. As a MN favourite, you have no more right than anyone else to park outside of your home, private roads and reserved spaces aside. So first come first served is the 'official ' answer. However in a small village where everyone knows each other, I don't see a problem with her asking nicely for a visitor to have a space, so long as the person being asked to move their car to accomodate them can park elesewhere and crucially, doesn't mind. In my view, the neighbour can always say no, and the lady in question must accept this graciously.

However, if the person in question is asking for other people to be courtious to her, and her guests, she should also understand that you may rely on your unofficial parking space and ask her guests to respect your needs.

However, if she wants to be a cock about it, all bets are off, screw her and her mates, and tell her that they'll have to park legally where they can find space.

In conclusion OP, flexibility works both ways; if se wants flexibility from the neighbours to accomodate her guests, her guests need to also respect you and your needs.

PlanDeRaccordement Thu 25-Jun-20 13:54:42

Unless one of her friends has an invisible disability and can’t walk the 100m, then YANBU to refuse to let them use the space in front of your home. (Eg hyper mobility, fibromyalgia, etc)
I’d just have a conversation with her and come to some agreement like Everanewbie has described.

Devlesko Thu 25-Jun-20 14:12:59

That's the problem with these old cottages they weren't meant for cars, I bet it looks really ugly.
Tell her that it's starting to look bad and can she ask her friends to park and walk up the lane, give a thanks at the end of it.

Jux Thu 25-Jun-20 14:21:53

If she can ask a neighbour to move his car then you can ask her to ask her friends not to park outside your house. I think that's fair.

NotQuiteUsual Thu 25-Jun-20 14:30:37

We live on a very similar road. It used to be fine and I never cared about parking far away, but when I was 38 weeks pregnant, on crutches and juggling two young children it used to drive me up the wall. I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask, she clearly thinks asking people to move is ok.

gumball37 Thu 25-Jun-20 14:35:18

These posts blow my mind.... Only in cities have I ever had an issue parking... And those often have parking garages.

I can park 2 cars in my drive and 9ne in the grass beside... As you can see in the background everyone has a drive... And no one needs to park on the road.

Pretenditsaplan Thu 25-Jun-20 14:46:25

Ask, if they do it again park outside hers the first chance you get and start using ubers

GiantKitten Thu 25-Jun-20 15:09:29

gumball37

These posts blow my mind.... Only in cities have I ever had an issue parking... And those often have parking garages.

I can park 2 cars in my drive and 9ne in the grass beside... As you can see in the background everyone has a drive... And no one needs to park on the road.

And your point is...???

Hollyhobbi Thu 25-Jun-20 15:11:52

@gumball37 do you live in the US or Canada? Parking in the UK and Ireland can be a minefield at times due to narrow roads. In fact I know of a few places in Ireland (we had no Roman invasion to build nice wide roads) where the main street of a town was made one way, or they had to build ring roads to bypass the town as they were total bottlenecks.

Pythonesque Thu 25-Jun-20 15:17:41

Agree, the road I live on which is two way with parking on one side, where I grew up in Sydney home would probably be a one way no-parking street.

gumball37 Thu 25-Jun-20 15:18:48

My point was just I had no idea other countries had such crazy parking issues.

gumball37 Thu 25-Jun-20 15:19:57

Hollyhobbi

*@gumball37* do you live in the US or Canada? Parking in the UK and Ireland can be a minefield at times due to narrow roads. In fact I know of a few places in Ireland (we had no Roman invasion to build nice wide roads) where the main street of a town was made one way, or they had to build ring roads to bypass the town as they were total bottlenecks.

Yep. US here.

See that is what blows my mind! It's so foreign to me! I can't imagine having to fight for a parking space outside my own home. Just seems wrong.

GiantKitten Thu 25-Jun-20 15:37:09

@gumball37

Our population is approx 1/5 of yours in a tiny fraction of the land area!

Population density:

England: 430 people per square kilometer
USA: 36 people per sq kilometer

BIWI Thu 25-Jun-20 15:47:54

Wow! People in other countries do things differently! Who knew?! hmm

gumball37 Thu 25-Jun-20 15:48:42

GiantKitten

*@gumball37*

Our population is approx 1/5 of yours in a tiny fraction of the land area!

Population density:

England: 430 people per square kilometer
USA: 36 people per sq kilometer

True... And that makes sense. Just, like I said, hard to imagine having to fight to park by or even on your own property.

LillianBland Thu 25-Jun-20 15:52:06

gumball37

My point was just I had no idea other countries had such crazy parking issues.

Try broadening your horizons and you might discover there’s a great big world outside of yours.

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong Thu 25-Jun-20 15:52:54

gumball37

These posts blow my mind.... Only in cities have I ever had an issue parking... And those often have parking garages.

I can park 2 cars in my drive and 9ne in the grass beside... As you can see in the background everyone has a drive... And no one needs to park on the road.

Huge parts of the U.K. were built before the car was even invented - the neatness of US grid cities and suburbs weirds me right out! Things are higgledy piggedy here, especially in cathedral cities where buildings can vary from Norman (built in the 11th century) to modern day fancy glass superstructures.

It’s just what you are used to, I guess?

It’s much easier to get by without owning a car in the U.K. though, more pedestrian and cycle friendly (unless it’s a super rural country lane, as the op describes).

I showed my ex husband (from ATL) a bit of a Roman wall once (built in AD270) he was both impressed by it’s age and bewildered by the fact it was more or less just a bit of old rock 😂

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong Thu 25-Jun-20 15:54:12

Everanewbie

Urgh this is all down to how she approaches things. As a MN favourite, you have no more right than anyone else to park outside of your home, private roads and reserved spaces aside. So first come first served is the 'official ' answer. However in a small village where everyone knows each other, I don't see a problem with her asking nicely for a visitor to have a space, so long as the person being asked to move their car to accomodate them can park elesewhere and crucially, doesn't mind. In my view, the neighbour can always say no, and the lady in question must accept this graciously.

However, if the person in question is asking for other people to be courtious to her, and her guests, she should also understand that you may rely on your unofficial parking space and ask her guests to respect your needs.

However, if she wants to be a cock about it, all bets are off, screw her and her mates, and tell her that they'll have to park legally where they can find space.

In conclusion OP, flexibility works both ways; if se wants flexibility from the neighbours to accomodate her guests, her guests need to also respect you and your needs.

I vote for this ^

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