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AIBU?

to have reacted this way?

19 replies

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 15:45

My friend thinks I'm being daft.

I have been seeing someone for a while. Approx 3 months. We went on 2 dates before lockdown, then didn't see each other for 7 weeks, but texted every day. Once restrictions were eased, we met up a couple of times. It was nice, but a bit awkward. Definitely down to my awkwardness but that's just how I am when dating.

I broke my phone recently so put my SIM card in my old phone (about a minute after I broke it so haven't been without a phone). I did this at around 1am long after the guy I had been dating went to bed.

I didn't have any numbers on it, and don't have his number so just waited for him to message me. I waited, and waited... and waited... the message never came. He literally just never got in touch. It's now been around 2 weeks and we haven't spoken.

Very, very odd but actually, I'm not upset about it. I think if he really wanted to talk to me, he would've messaged.

Friend thinks I should track down his Facebook and message him. I personally think he's made it clear he isn't interested...

AIBU to just forget about him now? He clearly isn't interested.

It's all a bit weird...

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usersouthcoast · 05/06/2020 15:51

I know it could be the whole 'he's just not that into you' stuff.

But could this be that he only sends messages via iMessage or WhatsApp or WiFi etc, so his messages don't get to you? If you've gone from iPhone to a £10 phone with no internet or WhatsApp, could that be possible?

Seems strange after 7 weeks of daily texts!!

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 15:54

Ive gone from iPhone to another iPhone. We only ever message on WhatsApp which is linked to the same number. Everyone else seems to have messaged me just fine...

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usersouthcoast · 05/06/2020 15:55

Oh. Then it sounds like he's just not that bothered then. Sorry.

Bluntness100 · 05/06/2020 15:55

God no don’t go tracking him down, he’s ghosted you. Leave it there.

Dugsbollox · 05/06/2020 15:57

Theres no way I'd hunt him down. You're not bothered by it, so I'd let it go.

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 15:59

I mean, I'm really not that upset about it which I think speaks volumes, but it has dented my confidence a little! He probably thinks I'm also ghosting him but I actually just don't have his number!

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slipperywhensparticus · 05/06/2020 16:00

It's still in your whatsapp though just recover your messages it should reconnect it all

poozel · 05/06/2020 16:02

It does seem weird after the daily messages, if it had happened without the phone change fair enough. Seems very weird it happens at that exact moment, I would tend to err on there being something more techy to it. Otherwise it's a massive coincidence that he stops messaging at the exact minute you change your phone.

Smallsteps88 · 05/06/2020 16:03

Nope. Retain your dignity and move on. He’s been very clear.

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 16:06

I think it could be the case that I often texted him first so he waited for me. But I don't really want to date a man who isn't bold enough to send a text message to check in...

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Gazelda · 05/06/2020 16:14

I agree with Poozel. It seems a very strange coincidence.
But if you're not that bothered, what's the point in tracking him down just to say "hi, let's not take this further"?

Ginkypig · 05/06/2020 16:48

If you think back has it always been you texting and him replying but as you were in regular contact it wasn't so noticeable? In which case he's not shown much interest really has he?

Either there's something gone wrong and you aren't receiving the messages he is sending or he isn't bothering to send any either way you don't seem bothered and is that not an indication that you're not really that interested in him?

Is there any point in pursuing it if you're not that interested?

TheHighestSardine · 05/06/2020 16:59

Friend of mine changed her broken phone and lost our chat so couldn't message me on WhatsApp, so got hold of me another way. I still had her in my WhatsApp, there was no "friend has closed her account" or whatever message for me, I just messaged her and that reconnected us.

So yeah, he should have no trouble messaging you. But with the vaguaries of technology, I'd definitely send him an SMS before writing it off.

SimonJT · 05/06/2020 17:02

Are you using whatsapp?

When I changed my sim card to my new phone no one could message me until I had messaged them and I appeared blocked from their phone.

If you have gone iphone to iphone his number will be on your new phone as contacts get moved over.

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 17:04

@TheHighestSardine I can't send him an sms as I don't have his number

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asmallplace · 05/06/2020 17:05

@SimonJT it definitely hasn't transferred my contacts over. It's a very old iPhone if that makes a difference. Nobody else has had a problem messaging me. I think he's just done one!

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TheHighestSardine · 05/06/2020 17:06

D'oh! Sorry.

OutOfHours · 05/06/2020 17:08

He could be saying the same thing to his friends about you...

We spoke every day and now I've heard nothing!

asmallplace · 05/06/2020 17:09

Yes but the difference is that had I had his number, I would've messaged him by now. He still has my number and has chosen not to message me.

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