What would happen to the house?

[Morgan12]

Sorry using the app and only allows me to post in AIBU for some reason!

Any ideas what would happen to the family house in this scenario?

Married 12 years, 2 kids. He works and I don't. Kids are 7 and 3.

Have 22 years left on mortgage. About £80,000 still to pay. Both names on the mortgage.

I would want to keep the house.

[Howaboutanewname]

Assuming you are talking about splitting up, if you want to stay in the house, you will need to take on paying the mortgage. You may find a judge orders your ex stays on the mortgage but this doesn’t always happen (and is probably not reasonable). You would need to find work and claim benefits, particularly for support with childcare. Your ex would need to pay maintenance but be warned, it is not hard to walk away from this responsibility without any legal comeback. Some mortgage providers won’t take maintenance and benefits into account as income.

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

To keep the house I think you would have to buy him out and pay the mortgage? As you do not work and would (I assume?) be primary career you might get a higher % of savings/ house value but you would still need to pay him his share if he leaves

I think courts prefer a clean break rather than letting you stay in the house till the kids are 18.

My solicitor told me I was entitled to around 70% due to me been primary career to 2 toddlers and him earning more. Ex refused to play ball and made everything as difficult as possible. It cost me £12k in solicitors fees to get 50%. My sols told me to get the extra I was entitled to it would cost me at least the same again and I didn’t have it

[BlackberryCane]

Do you mean if you divorce rather than him dying? How much equity is there, other assets? If you're divorcing, and you're in England and Wales jurisdiction, things like savings and pension pots for both of you would be taken into account as marital assets.

[Morgan12]

Doesn't sound too good then with me not working. Theres no way I'd get the house. I could get a part time job but I don't have the childcare for full time. I thought I'd be allowed to keep the house until the kids were 18 at least which would have given me plenty time to get a decent paid job. I do have the qualifications.

Guess I'll need to stay.

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

OP do not stay if you are miserable!

My ex got the house and bought me out- 50% of equity which was not a lot. I could have got more but he would not play ball and was costing me a fortune. He refused to move out of the house and I knew he would fight me forever.

In reality you will need to work but check what you could claim. You will get help. Also a 3 yr old is entitled to 30 hours free childcare if you are working.

Honestly I am renting a tiny house for me and the kids and probably wont be able to buy for a few years but I am so much happier.

I do have to budget its not too bad and much better than being in a horrible marriage.

[BlackberryCane]

@Morgan12

Doesn't sound too good then with me not working. Theres no way I'd get the house. I could get a part time job but I don't have the childcare for full time. I thought I'd be allowed to keep the house until the kids were 18 at least which would have given me plenty time to get a decent paid job. I do have the qualifications.

Guess I'll need to stay.

It isn't impossible, if you're in England and Wales. Those kind of orders are becoming much, much less common, but they've not been abolished.

Nobody on here is going to be able to give you any real clarity though, especially not from the very little information you've posted. You need to see a solicitor IRL. Many are still working remotely.

[millymollymoomoo]

Many variables
Totally dependent on your own circumstances finances and assets

You may be able to stay until 18 although that’s a long time. He may have to defer his share, he may have to pay spousal

But all these mays are balanced with it depends and he may not. Unless he’s very high paid it’s unlikely he’ll have to defer his share and pay mortgage etc. More commonly his share could be deferred but you’re expected to pay the mortgage and bills

You’ll also be expected to maximise your own earnings and to become financially independent which is why clean breaks are preferred if possible

What child maintenance would you receive ?

Aside from the house what assets are there? Pension?

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I thought I'd be allowed to keep the house until the kids were 18 at least

How did you think the mortgage would be paid?

Spousal maintenance is very rare in the UK nowadays, as it's considered most adults can work and support themselves. If you were not married to this man, you would have to earn the money to house yourself.

Do not rule anything out OP. If on a low income you will be eligible for a huge amount of childcare financial support, there is absolutely no reason you can't work full time.

[Collaborate]

@Morgan12 I'm a family law solicitor. You have given perhaps 3-5% of the information anyone would need to know to advise you properly. You should not take any of the responses you have received so far as an accurate guide about what you might get on divorce.

[OnlyLittleMissOrganised]

When my FIL divorced MIL he said they could stay in the family home until his youngest was 18 or out of full time education. So she went to college for a couple of years while living at home. It took until his daughter was 24 to split and sell as MIL did not want to move out.

FIL paid the mortgage on the property rather than the maintenance. So he still had equity in the property but he did not live there.

Maybe if you DH was willing to move out you could do something like that.

[raspberryk]

Roughly what is your husbands salary? What's the equity in the house roughly?
Don't fixate on wanting to stay in the property. You may be better if you sell and agree a split of the equity, or if your husband can buy you out.
I managed to buy 40% of a shared ownership property outright no mortgage with my share of the equity from the matrimonial home. When I was not working the very low rent was covered by the housing element of universal credit and as it's a small rent I have been able to afford to go to college and uni to retrain. Had I been paying a mortgage or private rent I wouldn't have been able to afford to keep up the monthly payments.

[Morgan12]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

DH earns around £42000 a year.
My plan would be to get a PT job which I think would pay around £800 a month. My mortgage payments are only half that so I could afford the payments but of course the bank wouldn't be happy with those figures. I would need to claim benefits to make up my wage.

I think I would get around £600 child maintenance. And I know DH would move out and let me and the kids stay in the house. But in reality he could meet someone else in a few years and want to buy with his new partner which would mean my house being sold.