To sit here cry9ng again ! because my parents and my brother totally ignore me

[fakeblonde]

For years my dh has kept saying " its their loss " and i have agreed.
Now i am pre menstrual and having a good old bawl tonight because i think it is my loss too !
I have 2 retired parents and a 33 yr old bro who still lives at home.The 3 of them are so close.
Parents are sailing around the med in big fancy yacht and d bro has wonderful job and cant do anything wrong.
I have lovely dh of 16 years,3 dc and a fabulously rewarding job.
They never ring to see how we are.
My gorgeous ds has just started school and they dont give a damn.
My equally gorgeous dd has started high school= not even a phone call.
Not a major prob compared to many i know-but i just felt the need to let rip on here because whats wrong with me fgs and will i end up ignoring my own children one day !!!!!!!!!!!!

[gibberish]

Your dh is right and it is their loss. However, you are feeling rejected and for no good reason by the looks of it so NO, you are not being unreasonable. Must be awful for you

[DaphneHarvey]

In answer to your final question: I'm sure you won't. They are your children now and you will love them and keep in touch and be interested in them when they are adults.

As to your parents, its difficult to answer. We don't know them. Is there another story behind the brief details you have given us? Perhaps it is difficult to phone from a yacht?

You haven't really said much about your history with parents. So difficult to comment on.

[Aitch]

oh dear, how awful. and how weird. you poor thing, that's got to feel like shite. (of course you won't be like this, you'll be the opposite of this because you know how much it hurts).

[fakeblonde]

Thank you !
Off to bed and will go look and dc and promise never to forget telling them how lovely they are .(i hope ! ) x

[gibberish]

Come back tomorrow and chat if you need to. Sleep well x

[Flibbertyjibbet]

YANBU.
My inlaws are the same with my dp. I won't go into details I'd be typing all night.
I get upset for him, and can't understand why they are happy to make efforts to see their other grand children but not ours. He says that they are missing out and he's used to his brother and sister getting preferential treatment. They are at his brothers an hours drive from us all the time, but haven't seen our kids since early June. They live 2 hours drive away. i thought we had arranged to go and see them for the day a few weeks ago, heard nothing. We text them the night before, no response till the next day when they said they had got things to do so would we mind leaving it!
Its his mums birthday this weekend and we havent even been told yet what time or place this meal is that we will no doubt get about an hours notice of our attendance and phone calls saying 'how long will you be' when we are on the hours drive over there cos these things always have to take place near his brothers house...

My own parents are wonderful with my dp and he has often said that they think more of him than his own do.
Your dp is right, its their loss.
Have a good bawl tonight then cheer up thinking of me trying to get through sunday without punching any or all of dp's family for the way they treat us.

[callmeovercautious]

Makes those who moan about their parents/in laws interferring think a bit harder about the other side!

Do you call them? Is ther "history"?

[fakeblonde]

Not difficult to phone home-they fly home to check ones garden every now and again - about 400 yards away -but far too busy to pop in !
I usually get told off for not sending dc up for their "presents ".

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Yes we call them, no there is no history. They have been like this with dp all his life and with me from the day they met me.

Yes sometimes I do feel a bit envious when reading threads from people who get toooo much attention from the inlaws!

Came to visit at hosp each time when I had their grandsons, sat on the bed taking pictures of each other with the baby like I wasn't there - not one of ME with their granson!! - then rushed off to have the pics developed to show all her friends!

I lay there 18 hours after section with ds2, could see baby filling his nappy, asked her would she mind changing him and she said no!! I still had a catheter and drip attached and she expected me to leap up and change the baby myself!

Am I making you feel better fakeblonde, you know, 'there's always someone worse off than yourself'

[Ripeberry]

Fakeblonde, maybe your parents and brother are so busy with their lives/jobs that they don't notice you, but they are not ignoring you on purpose.
Maybe you should keep popping round to them instead of expecting them to come to you?
Just wish my Mum was better, she only rings once a month when her tabs have stabalised her and she can actually talk to me properly.
She has been in and out of hospitals for the last 5yrs, mainly due to Manic depression which has now turned into Dementia.
She used to ring me after midnight to say she was going to hang herself...charming.
But it was just the medication talking.
I just want my Mum back as she is just a shell at the moment. My Dad says he can cope but he can't really, but at least my brother lives nearby, as i'm over 1hr away and have to pay £5.10 to get over the bridge (S.Wales).
At least your parents have their health and wealth.
Hope you feel a bit better today.
AB