Baby's father is useless!

[Chez2306]

Hiya all.


So broke up with my ex fiancé about 5 weeks ago due to him cheating, since then he's not really bothered asking how baby is and even went as far to say as I brought it on myself.

I fell downstairs on Monday and have been having tightenings and bleeding which I'm in hospital for - he's texted me about 3 times or something. Never guess what either - his sisters here (who is a bully and HORRIBLE person) and he's more worried about her baby who is absolutely fine than ours who I'm only 29 weeks pregnant with.

I'm just so angry that I feel like no longer allowing him in baby's life anymore, he's called me spoilt for being annoyed he's only text once today after I told him baby's heartbeat plummeted to 26 after a tightening, he hasn't bought or paid for a single thing either.

What advice would you give ladies? I'm so angry but feel like I could potentially be kicking off over nothing.

[DontStandSoCloseToMe]

Honestly I'd be beyond furious, but if you can bite your lip, don't offer anything on terms of contact, information etc , wait for him to ask. He seems the sort that will lose interest which is what you want, if you make it a battle he'll want contact to spite you and will hassle you etc just to get at you.

[Chez2306]

Bump

[LovingLola]

What advice do you want?
He’s a cheat and has no interest in you or the baby
Make sure he pays maintenance,

[carly2803]

advice?
do not give baby his surname, do yours

do not contact him again, let him contact you

block him

[carly2803]

advice?
do not give baby his surname, do yours

do not contact him again, let him contact you

block him

[MaternitySpongeBob]

How old are you op?

If all sounds like a lot of drama and stress when you really need to be focusing on yourself and the impending arrival.

Aside from my pondering if you're living together so he's pulling his weight, married to get better legal protection, working so you're not in a vulnerable financial position etc... I'm wondering if you've ever had the conversation with him which goes "what does fatherhood look like to you on a day to day basis". If not, now's the time. Late but better than nothing.

His response will be revealing; if he is even open to the discussion.

Ensure you claim maintenance from him at a minimum.

[MaternitySpongeBob]

Additional point you may ponder... Try to separate out his being the baby's father from your soured relationship. It's generally a positive thing to have parents in a child's life, barring any safety or abuse or neglect.

Just because he's a shit partner doesn't mean your child shouldn't know their dad. Try to remember that and urge him to do the same.

A child has the right to a healthy relationship with both parents - try and focus on what's best for baby together.

[Greenleavesawash]

What advice? Grow up fast, don’t call women “ladies” and get some self respect

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Give the baby your surname and get ready to raise the child by yourself because that's what's going to happen whether you stay together or not (and I do hope not).

[Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese]

Emotionally seperate yourself from him.

Other than that my advise is the same as everyone else's.
He is your child's father, keep him as only that and ensure you get maintence.
Try to maintain cordial contact with him as your child deserves to know both parents.
Give him the chance to be on the birth certificate, but give baby your surname.
Look after you and your baby, that is all that matters at the moment.

[snowybean]

Sounds like a great person 🙄

Hope you and your baby are alright. I would do what the others have suggested: make sure baby has your surname and get your maintenance. Hope it all works out for you.

Don't listen to people like GreenLeaves. If you can't offer anything useful then don't post.

[DysonFury]

Do NOT put him on the birth certificate whatever you do.