AIBU or is my neighbour?

[Maidmummy]

Sorry if this post is long but a few weeks ago my neighbour approached me and said she's having her fence panels changed (the fence runs along both our boundary) but didn't give me a day or time anyway a week or so later I was just about to let the kids out in the back garden to find 2 strange men in my back garden, I confronted them and they said they were my neighbours son and brother and they were changing the fence panels I said ok but you could have knocked on my door to let me know and her brother turned round and said he would need to take the gate post out as it attaches to her fence (I live in a council property so it's not up to me to give that permission) anyway he promised if he did take it out he would put it back in so I agreed but he never took it out.

Anyway fast forward to the last few days I went in the back garden to find the gate post gone and a huge gap that my children can fit through and it leads to a busy road, luckily I found it before letting the kids out, said gate post according to my neighbour has been given away as firewood.

My neighbour is claiming her brother put that post in 2 years ago for the previous tenant so he has every right to take it out weird enough he never sought permission from the council to put it in though and with living in a conservation area they are strict in what we can and can't do. Before the fence panels were put in she gave me and DP permission to paint our side of her fence but she's retracted that know because I've had to report her to the council for the removal of said gate post, not only that they have trespassed on my property twice without my say so to do all this.

So now she's apparently taking me to court for painting the fence she says she never gave me permission for when she definitely did, she was in her garden when dp was painting and even asked what colour we had chosen.

AIBU or has she done wrong with the gate post. Because of this she's gossiping to everybody about me and apparently I was threatening because I sent her a letter asking her to put the post back otherwise I'll be contacting the relevant authorities which I have already.

[UnfinishedSymphon]

How much time did you give them to replace the post before you reported them?

[minettechatouette]

The judge will laugh at her on the off chance she does take you to court imho. It sounds like she is completely in the wrong. Make a note of all her threats and anything you hear from others in case things escalate. Otherwise I would simply ignore her and try not to worry about the gossip.

[Maidmummy]

It happened in the morning and I gave her until tea time, since posting this I've had her 40 year old son hammering at my door accusing me of threatening his mum and demanding DP opens the door and steps outside, I had to phone the police in the end.

[minettechatouette]

God they sound awful. They are in the wrong. Definitely log all incidents. You did the right thing phoning the police.

[Puddlesplasher]

What the neighbour did is wrong but I do think you should have allowed her more time (a week max not months!) to replace it before contacting the council.

[Maidmummy]

What was the point in giving her time she out right refused to put it back before I even sent the letter I would have been wasting my time, to me it's not the behavior I would expect from a woman in her 70s, she's know as the village gossip in my area.

[Princessbanana]

How’s everything going now @Maidmummy?

[Maidmummy]

Everything is ok at the minute, not heard anything from her and frankly I don't want to, I'm 7 weeks pregnant and really suffering so can't be doing with the stress from her and her family. I'm just leaving it for the council to deal with , they emailed asking for her address so I'm thinking they may be writing to her.

[Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal]

Why report them? Just replace the post and move on with your life.

[Maidmummy]

Because it's not my property it belongs to the council and they came out and measured up for a new gate and they know that post is already in so when they come to fit the gate they aren't going to be able to .