Holiday and GPs

[WinkyWinkola]

We're planning a winter sun holiday next Feb.

I want to take my mum with us because she is getting on and has nobody to go away with. We're talking two weeks. DH is cool with this.

But then there's his parents. I can't bear the thought of going away on holiday with them again. They're intrusive, obsessive, controlling etc. I just feel it wouldn't be a holiday.

Am I out of order to take one GP away and refuse to go away with the other set?

[bosslady]

no your not being unreasonable your mum is obviously on her pwn and like you say getting on a bit so cant go somewhere on her own! If you have already been away with the others before and not your mum then i dont see that it should be a problem!!

[bosslady]

Should have said on her own not pwn sorry my finger slipped!!

[whiskeyandbeer]

well it depends, is your husband looking to go away with his parents?

[WinkyWinkola]

Well, DH knows that I find them very difficult. We've been away with them before on week's holiday and it was unpleasant. I never want to go away with them again. DH agrees that it wouldn't be a good idea to do it again.

But having said that, I don't particularly want to hurt their feelings. Do you think I should keep our taking my mum with us a secret from them?

My MIL in particular is a great one for nursing grudges and making vague threatening statements like, "Oh I never forget when someone's crossed me, you know." and I wouldn't want our visits to them to be fraught with resentment or tension.

[bosslady]

No dont keep it from them if they find out you will look bad, Tell them if you have already been away with them before they cant say anything!

[whiskeyandbeer]

nah she'd definitely find out about it which would make it worse.
if your husband has no desire to go away with his parents then i don't see the problem.
but if he does in the future i think it would be unreasonable to want him to go away with your mum but for you to not go away with his.

[Spandex]

Oooh no, don't lie. You'll be found out for sure and then it'll look like you've done something wrong because you felt you had to hide it. You've been away with his now go away with your mum. Then don't do it again with either of them. Sounds like you've done your duty.