to ask dh to apologise to pig of a neighbour?

[Moomin]

Dh hates the neighbour across the road from us. Parking is a real problem down our road; we have no drive and 2 cars as we both work out of town, although we're hoping to get rid of 1 soon as I have new job very near home.

Man across road has very big house and a driveway for 2 cars. He also has 6 domestic cars (jags and rovers) and a big can for work !!! I kid you not. He is very particular about parking his cars next to his house as he likes to keep an eye on them and they are obviously his 'babies'. We made the mistake of parking in one of 'his' spaces years ago and he was straight across to ask us to move so he could park his car there, although I have to say he was very polite about it.

Dh has developed a hatred of this man, mostly because he thinks it's obscene to own and run this many gas-guzzling cars, and dh also hates this bloke's obsession with the parking . I think as long as we can park near to our house, then this man's business is his own. Twice now recently, dh has made a comment to the man or his wife, unnecessarily mentioning the amount of cars they have. The other day, dh noticed the man;s car was parked outside our house although one of the spaces in his drive was empty. Both our cars were parked ok so it really was none of dh's business, but he said 'any chance you can park in yoru own drive instead of outside my house?' to which the man replied 'when you pay my road tax you can tell me where to park' and was quite aggressive.

My opinion is that dh has overstepped the mark and deserved to be spoken to like that as he was making a judgement on the man's lifestyle and winding him up. Dh has reluctantly agreed I'm right, and I also don't want any ill-feeling amongst neighbours - life's hard enough without hassle from neighbours isn't it? I now want dh to go over and apologise for making those comments and admitting it was none of his business, no matter what we think of the man and his cars!

[Moomin]

van not can !!

[WaynettaSlob]

Not sure I'd actually go so far as apologising TBH, but I would try to be extra nice/friendly to them next time you see them.

[Moomin]

Also need to apologise for thread title really [blash] Sorry. The man is not a 'pig'; he's just car-obsessed and not very pleasant to talk to, we're never going to be 'friends' but would rather not alienate him further.

[EscapeFrom]

I think you are right - people are (unfortunatly!) entitled to own 6 cars and to park them wherever is legal. BUT this now gives you the moral right to park outside this blokes house, and smile and nod when he asks you to move, without actually moving!

[OrmIrian]

He should apologise. But then park wherever he wants to - as close to the man's house as he possibly manage and refuse to move when asked. The pig can choose to own 6 cars if he wishes but he can't demand special spaces for them. I do think he is remarkably selfish in the circumstances and that you are being very grown up in wanting to keep the peace. Is there any chance that DH will apologise though

[Sixer]

mmm i agree, everyone should park where ever they want. I don't think your dh should apologise though. Btw i really don't think you made a 'mistake' by parking in one of 'his' spaces. He really doesn't own the street.

[chopchopbusybusy]

Why should he apologise? Your neighbour asked you to move your car when he didn't like where it was parked and you obliged. Your DH asked him to do the same for you and he refused - rudely.

[Moomin]

BUt dh parking wherever he wants to will further exaccerbate the situation. When he asked me to move all that time ago he couldn't park near to his house; when dh asked him to move, there was no reason other than it got on dh's tits to see the big car there! Both our cars were parked nearby and the man could see that. I just know that it will cause unnecessary stress if we start the game of leaping up to the window every time we hear a car, and are parking purely to wind each other up. I just wanted dh to say that parking is hard down our street and it has wound him up when we've not been able to park close to the house as we have 2 small dds and often shopping to carry as well so we could do with not having to struggle down the street to our own house.

[theman]

sorry you're being totally unreasonable.your husband was damn right to have a go at your neighbour.if he thinks it is unnacceptable for you to park outside his house then he should expect the same from you. i guarentee if that was me i'd go out of my way to park outside his house to prove a point.

[bouncingball]

Agree with chopchop. You were obliging when he wanted you to move your car, he should have been the same when your Dh asked him to move his, especially when he had space in his driveway for one of his fleet of cars!

[helenhismadwife]

No way would I ask my dh to apologise in this situation, as others have said you obliged when you were asked to move your car, you didnt have to do that and could have been rude and difficult. Then when the situation is reversed he is rude and refuses to move even though he has space on his driveway he has a cheek and you are being unreasonable asking your dh to apologise to him.

It is his choice to own loads of cars and if he lives in an area where parking is a problem he has to learn to accept that people will park outside his house and he cant expect them to move to make way for one of his 7 vehicles.

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

I don't think your dh should apoligise at all. Your neighbour is the one who owes you an apology.

[fleacircus]

You sound entirely reasonable to me - I probably wouldn't ask my DP to apologise, just because it's not worth dragging it up again, but I would continue to be pleasant to your neighbour whenever possible and certainly wouldn't get into deliberately parking to annoy him (although from the sound of your posts I can't imagine you would either).

[alicet]

I can understand why your dh made the comment he did to your neighbour with the history going on here. I think it was rude and unneccessary and was only going to cause problems as you had both been able to park nearby. Having said that we've all said things that are unreasonable when we've been wound up.

I think its beyond unreasonable for this man to ask you to move your cars from outside his house. This is something that really annoys me. Sure its irritiating when we can't park outside our own house but we don't own the road so I don't think you have any right to expect the space outside your house to be free. And it he has 4 cars that don't fit on his drive I would imagine he is constantly parking outside other peoples houses anyway thus making him even more unreasonable.

I wouldn't expect your dh to apologise even though I think he was unreasonable. I would just be pleasant to this man when you see him unless he gives you cause not to be. Park as near to your own house as you can and if this is on one of 'his' spaces then tough sh*t to him - I agree though that its childish and pointless to park outside his house when there are other spaces closer to you. Baiscally I am saying in a very round about way that I would let it lie now but not pay him any particular consideration in the future as regards his fleet of cars

[mytwopenceworth]

Men. Next they'll be throwing their poo at each other! . Seriously, it is a territory thing. Needs nipping in the bud because these daft things can turn nasty. Maybe he should say to the bloke, sorry about the other day, you are right of course, we are both free to park wherever we choose and we both will do. I was just having a bad day. Bye. Then walk off.

[Moomin]

mytwopenceworth - great idea. If he says this it will also act as a disclaimer if we ever have to park in one of 'his' spaces! Think dh will agree to do this too. NIce one thank you.