Hopefully that got your attention!
Basically my first sexual experience was not fun - I was intimidated into having sex and didnt speak throughout the experience - it was awful and not just in the normal sense.
I had had a drink but dont think I was drunk but I still cant remember an awful lot about that night except snapshots of it.
It was with a boy I did like and I think it was common knowledge I liked him as he approached me that night for the first time ever - he was 2 years above me at school. We had never spoken before and have never spoken since.
Word unfortunately spread around school and as I had moved from another country only the term before I think it kinda sealed peoples opinions of me although they couldnt have been further from the truth.
I have ended up being back 'home' again and find it hard as I do see him occasionally and see people from school and still feel judged on that incident.
Also dp is quite dismissive of it - I know he means that I shouldnt allow it to upset me so much but it comes across as if he doesnt really grasp how awful it was for me and how it stil makes me feel.
Anyway thankyou if you managed it to then end of this it helped just writing it down - I have never really spoken about it to anyone and I think about it every day.
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In not being able to forget this and being upset with dp for his view on it
16 replies
tullytwo · 17/07/2007 22:31
OP posts:
anniemac ·
18/07/2007 10:39
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