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Can't work out if this is a good idea?

(26 Posts)
ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 12:35:04

To get my toddler a doll to "look after" as a sibling present?
I thought it was great until I realised that there might be "baby confusion"
AIBU to think it's a bad idea to have two new "babies" in the house?!

Jebuschristchocolatebar Thu 11-Apr-19 12:46:29

Just to clarify, you are worried your small child won’t know the difference between a baby and a doll?

thecatsthecats Thu 11-Apr-19 12:49:50

hmm

I think the OP is more likely worried that the toddler might struggle to understand that the baby has very different needs (and a deal more fragility) than the doll!

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 12:53:25

@thecatsthecats

Yes that's it exactly! That my toddler might get used to how he treats his doll and think he can treat his sibling the same way!

I am not going to muddle up a doll and a baby and I don't think he would (although some dolls are weirdly life like! I'm talking about a toy)

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 12:55:24

Maybe it's just poor timing and I should hold out and by him another bloody train or light up electric toy instead!

BertrandRussell Thu 11-Apr-19 12:58:42

My nieces got those life sized baby dolls when their brother was born. We all kept having heart stopping moments when we caught sight of them upside down in the washing basket or in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs. It was awful.

Monty27 Thu 11-Apr-19 12:59:06

OP I might not have thought of that but I think you have a point.
Do you think getting him a little teddy would be okay?

Readytogogogo Thu 11-Apr-19 13:00:41

I have a toddler and a 5 month old - toddler loves looking after her baby doll e.g. putting in toy sling, pretending to nurse etc. I think it's a good gift.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:13:02

That's what I thought originally @Readytogogogo but then I was worried it might end up like @BertrandRussell dystopia

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:17:00

@Monty27

Yes maybe. I started at teddy and then got as far as rag doll and then thought oh maybe a plastic one instead as it'll wipe clean and those Reborn dolls popped up on screen and I wondered if it was actually a bit of a gamble getting any kind of toy to tend to!

I don't want to get puzzles or duplo as they'll just end up on the floor or getting lost. But like the idea of "sibling presents"

masktaster Thu 11-Apr-19 13:21:26

DS is going to be 26 months when his sibling is here. He already has dolls and such so, for his birthday, we'll be getting the "accessories" - sling, nappies, etc, and starting off the roleplay (if he's interested) before baby's here to gently ease him in. Seems good timing to me, anyway.

Though now I'm second guessing it myself, too!

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:23:39

@masktaster

That's what my mental image was originally.
Going out for a walk with our baby carriers or buggies, giving him something to occupy his time and make him feel included.

I'm sorry if I've ruined it for you.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:24:29

My DS does not have anything remotely doll like though! So I would be introducing something different entirely, whereas the kit is a different thing to a first doll I think?

CloserIAm2Fine Thu 11-Apr-19 13:24:39

I had a doll when my sister was born (not a realistic one!) and would bathe dolly when my mum bathed my sister etc. I did bite my dolly’s hands at one point but I’ve never been told of anything awful I tried to do to my sister!
I think it’s also a good distraction if they want to be involved in helping but aren’t gentle enough “you change Dolly’s nappy and i’ll change baby’s nappy”

frenchknitting Thu 11-Apr-19 13:25:06

We gave DS1 a doll for xmas just before his brother was born. He actually didn't end up playing with it much except to use the pram as a battering ram. (His baby brother has ended up playing with it more.) He has always been very gentle with his brother. So, no harm, I reckon.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:26:50

I think I might look for a nice teddy or rag doll and stay away from anything too baby-like to set my mind at ease because the kid already has every other toy on the planet I can think of

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:30:46

He has had buggies and things for a while but uses them as cars or motorbikes grin

Broom broom, vroom vroom, bash bash etc. He has been known to take a toy hammer for walk in it, or the remote control, or a pile of building blocks.

I am hoping to develop his more nurturing side but secretly terrified he's going to treat the baby the same way as he does his toys

I'm sure he would prefer a pet. Like a real live one as he is obsessed with animals, but I'm not going to commit to that right now.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:31:20

So maybe a cuddly toy it is then?! grin

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Thu 11-Apr-19 13:33:12

My mum did this, my sister's doll weed on her when she 'fed' it, so she launched it through an upstairs window grin luckily she never threw me anywhere and I've made it to my 40s!

Knittedfairies Thu 11-Apr-19 13:33:32

We bought our daughter a life-size baby doll when her brother was born. NDN had quite a turn when she saw her in the garden twirling the doll around her head.

masktaster Thu 11-Apr-19 13:34:54

I'm mostly not put off, and still going to go for it! DS's dolls aren't especially realistic, anyway, and personality wise I think it's something he's really going to love (even though I'm still not sure how he'll react to the actual real life baby when they arrive...)

And he just won't be unsupervised with the baby for a while wink

feckinarse Thu 11-Apr-19 13:39:12

If it helps, DS1 was 2.5 when DS2 was born and liked his baby, and liked taking his teddy for a walk in the baby buggy (or a car, or a book, or a robot. Basically he liked the buggy!) and he was relatively gentle with his brother. I got a soft IKEA doll because 1. I was there and 2. it was cheap .. I find the Reborn dolls too lifelike and creepy. But I was glad to have it, and both boys liked putting 'baby' or a teddy into slings (scarves) or the buggy a LOT. The actual nurturing.. not so much. Bit hit and miss.... but they love each other a lot now, and are pretty gentle with each other!
Both boys enjoyed playing with 'baby' a little (we're not very imaginative when it comes to names) but he was soon ignored for duplo. And now my house is a lego pit.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:44:26

Oh yes @masktaster
No chance they'll be unsupervised together even if it means one of them coming with me to the toilet even!

Not taking any chances.

masktaster Thu 11-Apr-19 13:46:18

@shabbyabby I'm already making plans for a baby bouncy chair in every room grin

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:48:22

@feckinarse

Oh my house is 100% a Lego pit. I'm confiscating it all until I'm over the worst of the sleep deprivation though because F**k standing on a Lego when you're not at your best! (Or worse carrying a sleeping baby).

It's getting shipped in a shipping freight sized box or two to the grandparents and not coming back until babies over those early days and Sleep has returned to the household never then.

ShabbyAbby Thu 11-Apr-19 13:52:41

Ooh yes @masktaster me too. And a portable carry cot too! And stair gates!

I think I might be a bit paranoid.

He's only a toddler and up until very recently he was my baby who I was insanely protecting. The age gap between 1 and 2 was bigger. But I have lived my entire life knowing that aged 2 and with a new sibling I turned into the devil. I am prepared for the worst but hoping for the best! Hopefully he is good natured like his sister was when I bought him home, and not a terror toddler like I was.

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