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Father's Day

(12 Posts)
user467942 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:30:07

I am a single parent to toddler DS. His dad is lightly involved in his life physically and financially. We have our ups and downs like any separated couple but on the whole are fairly amicable.

Before DS was born (we split up when I was pg) we decided that we weren't gonna do Mother's Day/father's day/Xmas/bdays for each other while DS was still little as it was obvious it wasn't from him and was from us and our families would do it.

I was speaking to a friend this morning and explained the above (father's day had come up already) and she was mortified that I'm not doing anything for DSs dad. I said his nursery will prob make him a card from DS like they did Mother's Day and he can give him that and ex has a girlfriend that will prob do something for him. She was still shocked that I don't'make an effort' for DS.

AIBU? What do others do in these circumstances? Any views/opinions appreciated!

Wallsbangers Tue 09-Apr-19 21:32:51

What happened on Mother's Day? Did he get you anything from DS?

user467942 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:38:19

@Wallsbangers no he didn't. As I said we'd previously agreed not to do anything for each other. We said we'd revisit once DS gets old enough to tell us/show an interest otherwise it's obvious it's just from each other which I didn't think was appropriate as we'd split up

user467942 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:38:54

It's been the same each year since..... just my friends reaction shocked me a little if I'm honest I thought it was normal but maybe it's not

Divgirl2 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:42:10

I think that sounds very sensible and practical to be honest. I only bothered with Father's Day because I like seeing DP's face light up when he gets a little picture made up of DS' hand prints. If we weren't together no way would I have gone through the absolute hell that is trying to get a baby to cooperate while they're covered in paint.

Wallsbangers Tue 09-Apr-19 21:42:42

You've got an agreement so I'd stick to it. I think reviewing when DS is older sounds like a good plan and can take more of an active role in making a card/picking a gift.

Giddyuppp Tue 09-Apr-19 21:46:29

Your agreement sounds more than sensible.

SandyY2K Tue 09-Apr-19 21:51:00

Stick to your agreement. There's nothing to be mortified about...some people are so dramatic.

user467942 Thu 11-Apr-19 19:33:49

Thanks everyone. Seems it's just my friend (who is happily married with 2 dc) is the odd one here. It's hard when others don't understand your circumstances

CupcakeDrama Thu 11-Apr-19 21:51:29

My ex asked me NOT to get him anything for fathera day, some people just dont want anything. your friends weird

CupcakeDrama Thu 11-Apr-19 21:51:43


Starlight456 Thu 11-Apr-19 21:59:16

I am Lp dad not involved. My sister sends money for these occasions.

I celebrate it now Ds is older. I think that celebrating these occasions are not about gifts but recognition of what you do.

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