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Am I being unreasonable for being nervous?

(10 Posts)
splishandsplash Sat 06-Apr-19 20:39:16

I'm 24 and desperately want to start trying to conceive but I have a real niggling thought that I shouldn't?
I have no reason why and have thought about it, I have no real debt (we'll only a little but could pay this off in 3 months), secure job, love my partner dearly, due to get married soon, have our own house with plenty of room. No other children yet.
Am I going mad for having anxiety about having the coil removed or does everyone feel this way?

Samind Sat 06-Apr-19 20:46:09

I have a 4.5 month "accident" baby who is adored! When I saw the positive line, I felt sheer dread an panic and it was a horrible cold feeling ran up me. Think I was like this for a few months then I went for the big scan and honestly fell in love watching her on the screen and trying to imagine her face etc

We were moving house at the time and it was sooo stressful not to mention finances even though we both worked full time etc etc I wouldn't swap her for love nor money. There are many factors when considering having a baby but you sound as if you have things pretty set. Even if you didn't, you'd find a way to manage.(hope I'm not being presumptuous)

Have you got any concerns about the process? Have you discussed these with partner? Naturally it will affect your daily life once you have a baby but you soon adapt! You will be exhausted but this will pass.

For me personally, having her here outweighs anything and I've loved and feel very thankful to he her mother.

Merryoldgoat Sat 06-Apr-19 20:50:03

Why not pay off the debt and get married first? Two things fewer to feel anxious about then.

splishandsplash Sat 06-Apr-19 20:58:19

I think I'm nervous I won't be good enough? Sounds ridiculous probably but I am scared that I'm too young and I'll get judged?

Fiancé and I have discussed every angle of this possible! and change of life stuff doesn't scare me too much but maybe it is?

We decided to not pay of the debt yet as we can enjoy life more whilst trying. If we need too we could pay the debt off in 1 month but it would be a lot tighter for that month.
We don't want to wait till after the wedding as we have a while yet before the wedding and as my fiancé is 30 this year and would like to start trying, I'm all for it as I feel like it would complete us before we get married, not that we need a baby to complete us but it just feels right but I'm nervous 😂

Supercuts Sat 06-Apr-19 21:01:57

There is never ever a perfectly right time for those that plan and want to be the best parent they can be smile. You want to do a great job, you’re nervous, that’s normal!

The fact you’re wondering like this means you’ll be brilliant!

Wolfiefan Sat 06-Apr-19 21:03:19

If you’re due to get married “soon” and have debt then I would wait.

splishandsplash Sat 06-Apr-19 21:06:59

Friends keep saying there is no perfect time so I'm thinking just bite the bullet and have the coil removed... see how it goes? We don't know if we will have issues trying?

When I say soon, I mean it's booked! It's not actually till the end of 2020.

Debts are so minimal as I stated I could pay them off in a month and have a tight month, we are choosing to pay them off over 3 months just so we can still have date nights 😊

MrsChanandlerBongg Sat 06-Apr-19 21:08:33

I suppose you feel nervous/scared? Which is totally normal! As long as you both FEEL ready then most definitely do it. Never mind about the 'perfect set up' - can you drive? Do you own your own home? Do you have loads of savings and an amazing job? 🙄 Because someone can have all of these things and long to be a mother! As PP have said, there's never a perfect time.

I had my first last year at 23 and about to have another at 24, both unplanned. Although, I'm glad I'm doing it now while I probably have the most energy to do so 😆

Singlenotsingle Sat 06-Apr-19 21:21:02

Get married first. (Unfashionable, I know). You've got loads of time.

OneDayillSleep Sat 06-Apr-19 21:42:38

I’d get married and enjoy myself as a couple for a few years if I was you, what’s the rush? Having kids is brilliant but I’m so glad I enjoyed my 20s child free. We have 2 children under 3, we have very little time together as a couple, life revolves around our children. I’d have hated to have that at 24, it’s hard enough at 35 when we’ve been together nearly 15 years!

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