To exclude certain family members from visiting in late pregnancy

[N9netynine]

37 weeks pregnant on Monday, feeling a bit worse for wear. SPD, terrible acid reflux, exhaustion and looking after my toddler.

DM wants to come over today to visit, fine by me as she's a low maintenance guest and doesn't expect me to be on top form. She's happy to make her own tea and entertain the little one whilst I put my feet up.

The problem is she wants to bring her sister, my aunt, and go out for lunch. Aunt gets on my nerves at the best of times (I know that sounds harsh) but she's very loud, overly talkative, touchy feely, intrusive and a high maintenance guest.

WIBU to ask DM to come on her own, and can I do this without looking a complete cow?

[woolduvet]

Sorry mum I'm not up to a family gathering, you're obviously welcome on your own.

[Biddie191]

Tell your Mum all of the above, that you're not feeling great, and whereas you know she wouldn't expect you to make an effort, you'd be uncomfortable with Aunt coming too, as you'd feel you have to , and don't feel up to it.

[GreatDuckCookery]

A one off? I would probably go ahead with the visit tbh. Get it out of the way now!

[Teddybear45]

I’m guessing the aunt might have gifts for you or may want to treat you, which is why they want to do lunch?

[Weebitawks]

Yeah just say you're not up for your aunty but would love to see her

[N9netynine]

I've just called DM and said I'm not up to lunch today and don't feel up to hosting as me and toddler have been having a lazy day and I've got housework to get on top of.

DM offered to come on her own and give me a hand (she'll be surprised when she gets here and sees the sink is not in fact full of dishes and the house is perfectly fine)

I feel a bit guilty but it's hard to explain to my aunt why I'd rather she didn't come without hurting her feelings

How do you tell somebody you find them too "full on"

You can't really, can you.

[GreatDuckCookery]

No you can’t really OP. I understand it can be draining at the best of times, ah well it’s done now. Try and rest while you can. Does your mum know how you feel about your aunt?

[N9netynine]

Aunt only lives 20 minutes away so we're not estranged or anything, I last saw her about a month ago.

[N9netynine]

Mum does know how I feel about my aunt yes, the problem is they're joined at the hip! Mum is quite endeared by all of her qualities which drive me up the wall

[GreatDuckCookery]

Her loudness is probably magnified because you’re not feeling great. Don’t fret about it now, conserve your energy